Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Drunk dialing in the eBay era
Posted by Max Brantley on Wed, Dec 28, 2011 at 7:19 AM
I can't decide if this is one of those New York Times invented trend stories or the real thing.
I have no doubt that web surfing while drinking can be dangerous. But .... Does it drive on-line purchasing? Are on-line merchants crafting special deals to lure uninhibited tipsy late-night shoppers? That's the angle. Any personal experience out there?
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I spoke with an online acquaintance yesterday when they were on hold with an online retailer trying to reverse some charges they made while drunk.
I'm sure it happens. People can send out drunk texts or emails so why not rule out drunk e-buying?
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Anecdotal yes, but I admit I've had instances of purchasing things on ambien and not realizing it until they arrived in the mail.
I know a guy who bought $400 of truck accessories whilst using dialup and drinking pinot noir. That requires determination.
On-line merchants have finally discovered what street walkers have known for centuries.
And there are no personal experiences in that sentence.
I purchased naming rights to a creek in Iowa off Ebay a couple weeks ago :(
"F**k It I'm Drunk Creek"
The locals seem to like it actually.
The only incident I recall is an elderly woman in Springdale being put on mood elevators (anti-depressants). She lived alone at 80 yrs old. Her son had a home at the other end of the block.
She had bought a room full of shit from TV commercials. Her last purchase before her son took control of her finances was 1200 pencils. For twelve of her friends and family she ordered a 100 pencils embossed with their names.
QVC likely makes more from drunks, pot-heads, medications and lonely people than we imagine.
Given that 20% of Americans are on legal, behavior-altering drugs which can now be converted into sales, there's no limit to what onliners or TV sellathons can use as hypnotic gimmicks to worship our god, MoMoney.
This reminds me of the Onion article:
"Man With Complete Mama's Family Video Library Never Going on eBay Drunk Again."
I had completely forgotten the uninhibited purchase I made but the E-bride from the Philipeans didn't go over well at home.
If I had remembered I did it I would have rushed home everyday so UPS would not have just left her on the porch.
I’m afraid Aerotive is right.
Trends come from the West Coast, Europe and the Far East. Occasionally you get a distracting fad from India like Nehru jackets or pashmina scarves, which are Never Wrong but also Never Quite Right unless you’re traipsing around Delhi or a Baptist fund-raiser or something).
New York just markets and sells more of them.
And really, refreshing beverages and shopping have accompanied each other hand in hand for millennia, from club-wielding cavemen high on fireside rituals and fermented spirits shopping "Rodeo Footpath" for brides to drag home, to plastic-wielding moneymen sipping Dom Pérignon whilst haggling over cushion-cut pink solitaires for soulmates / arm-candy at Harry Winston’s on Fifth.
Plus ça change!
Which is why it’s gauche to shop before one in the afternoon. Any earlier, it is considered uncivilized or even borderline dysfunctional to request or accept alcohol in public emporia (excepting restaurants for brunch or lunch, of course). You’re there to shop: not stage an Intervention.
On the other hand, if you are in the unfortunate circumstance of spending your own money it is imperative you refrain entirely from mood-altering substances for a 24-hour period either side of your targeted shopping excursion – to minimize that dangerous Demonic Duo, Impulse Charges and Buyer’s Remorse.
I know a guy who once woke up hungover on his living room floor with the TV blasting on a shopping channel. His wallet was on the floor and a credit card was next to it. A few days later a large box of pocket knives appeared on his porch. He's been giving them away for Christmas and birthday presents for years, but I think everybody he knows already has one.
Shopping is a drug. Drinking is a gateway, but boredom has sufficed to provoke firing up the computer and credit card and buying an item that is an absolute necessity. Like a rubber mallet. Or a Waterford paperweight. Or a mortar and pestle.
Drunk or not, as far as saving/buying on eBay goes:
Use a site like Ebuyersedge.com to set up saved searches. You get an e-mail whenever a matching item is newly listed. Especially good for "Buy It Now"s that are priced right.
Try a misspelling search using a site like Typojoe.com to hopefully find some great deals with items that have main key words misspelled in the title. Other interested buyers might not ever see them.
If you see an auction that you want to bid on, use a sniping service such as Hidbid.com to place your bid for you. It'll bid in the last few seconds, helping you to save money and avoid shill bidding.
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