The new Slim Chickens franchise is just right down the street from me, so it was pretty inevitable that I'd be stopping by on one of those nights when the idea of cooking at home feels like winning a free colonoscopy. I swung into the parking lot with my wife to see a line of cars wrapped around the building to get their hands on Slim's two chicken varieties: wings and tenders. Slim's originated in Fayetteville in 2003, and the menu is a mix of fried chicken, fried sides, fried pies, and fried soda (only one of those is made up). The service was certainly quick in that surly fast food sort of way — we were through the long line in under 15 minutes — but the food left quite a lot to be desired.

We dove right into the menu with the basic Chick's Plate ($6.99), opting to sub in an order of fried mushrooms and an order of fried pickles to replace the normal fries or potato salad. The substitution was around a buck more, which we thought was more than fair — until the girl at the speaker told us they were out of pickles. And she said it right when the little screen below the speaker flashed up a high-definition picture of said fried pickles. Changing our pickle order to another of mushrooms, we got our total ($19.85) and drove around to get our order.

The resulting boxes of food were...well, they were fine, I guess. The mushrooms weren't fried nearly long enough, and between their slimy texture and loose breading it was rather hard to eat them. A mushroom has a lot of moisture to it, and it takes a good stay in hot grease in order to get one fried correctly — something that should be par for the course at a place like this. As for the chicken, the tenders were small, and while they were juicy enough, the overall flavor was just bland. A dunk into a cup of "Slim's Sauce" didn't really help things, and the end result was a completely forgettable meal.

Now granted, this is a fast food joint, but I'd hoped for a better showing from the Fayetteville-based chain. If Slim's wants to compete in that part of town — next to a KFC, down the road from Popeye's, and very near Little Rock's busiest restaurant, the Chik-Fil-A on Markham, they're going to have to get their frying times down for sides, spice up the chicken and sauces, and get a little friendlier to patrons. I'll give the place some time to settle in and try again, but my first impression was that this location is coming off a little less than half-cocked.

My normal expectation for a chain restaurant taco is some limp, hopeless meat covered up by a pile of Taco Bell-style lettuce and cheese. Years ago, this would have suited me just fine, but I've seen too much of tacos these days to settle for anything less than that bright, tangy flavor that comes from the traditional taco: grilled meat with a healthy dose of onions, cilantro, and fresh lime juice. Not everybody likes them that way, though, so wouldn't it be nice if there were restaurants out there that gave you a choice? Sure, it would, and El Porton on Highway 10 does just that.

I sampled three different tacos at El Porton: a fantastic al Pastor that was redolent with citrus and spice, a tender skirt steak cooked to a nice medium well, and a grilled chicken that was passable but didn't really compare with the other two. And while these tacos were wrapped in the flour tortillas we norteamericanos tend to prefer, the flavors inside were authentic and good. I'm not a fan of taco joints that cover their proteins with all sorts of salsas and toppings, so these simple tacos were right up my alley.

Even better than the tacos was a dish off the tapas menu called Ceviche Mixtos, two small glasses that contained shrimp ceviche in one and white fish ceviche in the other. I've always liked the acid "cooked" seafood dish, and this version at El Porton was wonderful: clean, bright tasting fish and shrimp with a spicy fresh pico de gallo that would have been good to eat by itself. It's one of the best versions of ceviche in Little Rock, something I'd never thought to say about a chain joint. Still, credit where credit's due — this spicy citrus and seafood dish is one of the best things I've eaten lately.

The menu at El Porton is huge; almost overwhelmingly so. Giant burritos, combination platters, and a wide selection of fajitas make the place guaranteed to fit almost any taste. It's going to take some time for me to branch out into the other areas of that menu, though — that ceviche is just too good to pass up.

I have been to the mountain, and it's made of onion rings.

Let me back up for a minute to say: Little Rock has an onion ring problem. After all, we're a town that regularly votes the o-rings at Sonic as the top example of what a golden-brown circle of batter-dipped onion should be — and nothing against the popular drive-in, but their rings aren't really that great. The Times' own David Koon is of the opinion that the best rings in town are from a more local source, the Arkansas Burger Company on Cantrell, and I've been reading his stuff long enough to know that he's a man of taste. My own personal favorite onion ring in town was made by a food truck, Papa's Burgers and More; it was a sad day for me last year when Papa decided to retire.

But ring fans can rejoice: there's a new, great onion ring in town, and it's in a place I wouldn't say is known for great food — Cheddar's Casual Cafe on University Avenue. Now, Cheddar's isn't exactly haute cuisine, but since it's only a few block from my house, it's become a quick and cheap go-to on those nights where the wife and I are just too tired to cook after work. And for $3.99, the place serves up a foot-tall pile of the crisp-battered onions we crave.

At around the size of my fist, each ring is coated with a coating of well-spiced flour-based based batter that reminds me of a thicker version of that found on tempura. I've found (through repeated "research") that the rings are consistently crispy and good all the way down, an important thing to note given the varied scale of crisp to soggy found in most rings. Two small cups of dipping sauce, a ranch and a spicy Cajun, are served to the side to make the whole greasy affair just that much more decadent. It's nothing fancy, but it's a well-made appetizer that can feed a four-top for just under a dollar a person.

I can't say that these rings beat Arkansas Burger Company (or the late, great Papa's Burgers), but they're a strong entrant into the o-ring category. And for this price and quantity, you won't find anything better at Sonic.

Cheddar's Casual Cafe is located at 400 S. University, and they're open for lunch and dinner daily.

I don't expect much from chain restaurants. After all, since the purpose of a chain is to provide the exact same experience across multiple locations, there isn't any room for creativity. So when I went into the Geyer Springs location of Shark's Fish and Chicken, I figured that I was in for something along the lines of a shotgun marriage between Captain D's and Popeye's — which was close, if you add in about half a cup of table salt and a heaping helping of stink-eye.

My day job is in Southwest Little Rock, and while I'll be the first to admit that the place is rough around the edges, I've found no shortage of good things to eat served up by friendly folks. I've been in my share of places where the folks behind the counter seemed to think it was a real pain to take my order and serve me food, and Shark's was easily the worst offender in this regard. On a street where the carhops at Sonic of all places give you their first names and tell you to be sure and let them get you whatever you want, there's really no excuse for any chain restaurant to be as rude as this one.

Here's the scene: it's 12:30 on a Sunday afternoon, and I've just failed in my attempt to eat at a new Vietnamese place over on Asher — it's closed despite the "Open 7 Days" emblazoned on the awning out front. The wife expresses a craving for catfish, and since I'm already in Southwest, I figure why not try that Shark's place I'm always driving past. Enter the dining room, we're the only ones there. The Disney channel blares from a TV on the wall. A girl sits behind the counter. She stares at us, unspeaking. A young man stands near her, behind a cash register. He also stares, silent. We walk up, place our orders: one catfish platter, one order of chicken gizzards. The young man writes it down, rings it up, and the first words he speaks to us is our total. We take a seat and wait. And wait. And wait. Finally the order hits the counter and the girl pushes the bags toward us, again without a word. We leave.

So, okay, not the best customer service experience, but the food smells pretty good and we drive back home to dig in. The catfish filets are large, well-cooked — but they're just a touch over-salted. Still, they're edible enough that my wife is happy, and while she says she won't go back again due to the service, her fish is fine. I open my gizzards, and I'm initially pleased: a huge portion of crisp fried gizzards, and there's even hot sauce for dipping. Upon closer inspection, I notice that the gizzards at the top are visibly salty — I can actually see a fine layer of salt on them. Sure enough, first bite, salt bomb. I dig to the bottom, hopping that maybe it's just the top layer that's too salty — no luck. The whole pile of gizzards is rendered completely inedible from a massive dose of salt. Salt in the batter, extra salt on top. I still can't figure out if this is just the way they do things or if this was some sort of revenge for interrupting a quiet Sunday afternoon.

Needless to say, I can't recommend Shark's Fish and Chicken on Geyer Springs to any of you. The service is of the type that gives Southwest Little Rock a bad name, and the suspiciously salty food doesn't help that impression. There's another location on Roosevelt, and one in North Little Rock, and these are possibly better — this was certainly a meal that didn't have be nearly as bad as it was. Have any of you tried the place? Was this just an off day or is it normally like that?

French fries, in all their greasy, golden splendor, are one of the greatest culinary achievements in human history. Indeed, where would the noble cheeseburger be without the accompaniment of its trusty companion, the French fry? Yet despite their fairly basic preparation, only requiring oil, potatoes, and salt, the variation among French fries amongst the millions of restaurants serving them is really quite remarkable. No two establishments are identical in their French fry production, but perhaps due to their relative simplicity and high degree of variability, it is rather simple and straightforward to compare one restaurant's fries to another.

It's easy to look down upon fast food restaurants. Some highly celebrated foodies seem to harbor within themselves a deeply seated hostility for such entities, viewing them as a plague upon the American culinary culture. I don't eat fast food too often, but I hold no contempt for such places. In a pinch, they serve their purpose relatively well, and in my opinion, do not deserve the scorn some have strewn in their direction.

Fast food French fries are consumed by the bucket load on a daily basis. There is certainly no shortage in the Natural State...indeed, somehow McDonald's has managed to win "best fries in Arkansas" numerous times in our Reader's Choice poll. This fact caused me to reconsider the merits of the fast food French fry. I realized that I had not eaten the fries of certain fast food restaurants in many years, and in some cases, never. So, in the name of due journalistic diligence, I struck out to sample and score the major fast food fries in central Arkansas. Here's how it went down:

Total scores were generated for each restaurant based on a collection of subscores (10 points each) representing different pivotal aspects of any respectable French fry. Subscores were totaled and a final score awarded; the six contestants were thus ranked accordingly.

Subscore categories included:
Freshness (based primarily upon the temperature at which the fries were served)
Potato-ness (or the essence of potato, based primarily on the ability of the fry to retain a natural potato flavor)
Seasoning (based primarily on the proper use of salt or other proprietary seasonings applied to the fry)
Crispness (obviously, based on the crispness or crunchiness of each fry, or lack of sogginess therein)

Here are the results:

#6 Sonic: Freshness: 6, Potato: 2, Seasoning: 1, Crisp: 2= Total 11/40
To my recollection, this was the first time I've ever eaten fries from Sonic...and I thank my lucky stars for this fact. Without a doubt, Sonic served up the poorest portrayal of what a decent French fry should be. There seemed to be almost no seasoning involved; each fry was screaming for a touch of salt. The fries tasted as if they were not even distant relatives of the potato, and perhaps the most unpardonable sin was their limp, lifeless body, almost completely lacking any crispness whatsoever.

#5 Burger King: Freshness: 4, Potato: 4, Seasoning: 4, Crisp: 3= Total 15/40
At one point in my life, whilst in the thralls of high school, I really respected the Whopper. This alone brought me back into the palace of The King fairly regularly. But it's been some time since I've had a complete meal at Burger King, and so I was rather surprised by the rather poor showing The King had made in the field of French fries. Overall, I found the fries to be rather uneventful, lacking much freshness, and they quickly became cold. They tasted of unthawed, previously frozen potato and were also poorly seasoned. I was not reluctant to toss the remainder of my uneaten fries in the garbage.

Back in 2008, this publication had a less-than-enthused reaction to the recently opened Copeland's of New Orleans restaurant in the Shackleford Crossing shopping center. Being generally pretty dismissive of chain restaurants myself, I would have taken that review at face value and skipped the place altogether. Lucky for me, some family members tried the place and came back with a verdict that ranged from "not bad" to "pretty terrific," and after trying the place a couple of times myself, I've got to say that they must have settled into a nice groove since that initial review, because I found the food to be tasty, the service to be friendly, and the portions large enough to turn a lunch visit into a respectable dinner of leftovers later.

Of particular note are the two main catfish dishes available, the Catfish Acadiana and the Ricochet Catfish. The Acadiana is a basic fried catfish filet, large and moist with a firm crust that has just the right amount of spice. This isn't your average piece of fish, though, but rather a dinner-plate sized slab that makes up a larger portion than a three-piece at most catfish joints. Heartier eaters should go for the Ricochet, which takes that same huge filet, encrusts it with pecans, and throws a heaping helping of deep-fried onion strings on top. A tangy "Creole Meuniére" is served to the side for dipping — or for just drenching the whole plate as I did. The fish itself is tender and mild, and as a person picky about muddy-flavored catfish I was pleased with both plates of the river-bed dwelling fish I tried.

Perhaps the most interesting dish on the menu, however, is the Eggplant Pirogue: two slices of crisp-fried breaded eggplant over linguine topped with spicy Alfredo sauce, shrimp, and crab claws. Well, okay, to be honest, it was just one crab claw — even though the menu was pretty clear that there were going to be claws present in numbers greater than one. That’s my only complaint with the dish, though, as the eggplant was firm and sweet and the pasta was only just on the edge of being overcooked. The shrimp were flavorful and the creamy sauce didn’t overpower the dish but was great for sopping with the bread Copeland’s serves with all their dishes: a strange hybrid of a biscuit and a dinner roll that was interesting and tasty. I love eggplant, but I usually don’t order it because it comes out soggy and bitter — Copeland’s was neither.

If there's one thing Copeland's needs to work on, it's that the pasta in their dishes can be a bit overcooked, resulting in dishes that are excellent except for some gummy noodles. The seafood, sauces, and starters are all quite tasty, and even dishes from the pared down lunch menu are large enough to feed almost any appetite. Be sure to save room for dessert, though, because the Carrot Cake is a must-try. This mammoth slab of three layer cake was dense and moist, with an icing that was richly flavored with cream cheese. Add to the plate a heaping pile of whipped cream and what you have is a platter of cake almost too large for four people to finish despite working as a team.

It's always nice when a chain restaurant manages to break out from the normal mediocre food expected from such places. I don't mind eating my dismissive words when it comes to Copeland's — especially if those words are topped with fried onion straws and served up with red beans and rice.

If you've watched television or been anywhere near a Taco Bell restaurant in recent weeks, you've probably seen the advertisements for their new Doritos Locos Tacos — tacos with a shell that's drenched inside and out with the neon-orange cheese dust commonly seen on Doritos brand corn chips. A Cool Ranch Doritos version is reportedly in the works and coming soon to a Taco Bell near you.

Could there be a more perfect collision of late-nite drunkchow? Probably not, unless Pizza Hut can figure out a way to make a Cheetos-stuffed pizza crust. That Cheetos-in-a-pizza idea is MINE, by the way. No stealzies.

We bring it up because of the story we heard the other day from Todd Mills, vice president, media and information technology at Little Rock Regional Chamber of Commerce. Way back in 2009, Mills was eating a plain ol' non-Doritos taco when a commercial for Doritos came on TV. A lightbulb went off. "I looked at my wife and said: 'How awesome would it be if this taco shell was a Dorito?'" Mills said.

Soon thereafter, Mills started what he called an organic social experiment — a Facebook page called the Taco Shells Made from Doritos Movement. Around the same time, Mills said, he wrote a funny letter to Frito Lay, which makes Doritos, saying it would be great if they could make Doritos taco shells a reality.

Even though he soon received a reply saying that Frito Lay couldn't accept outside ideas about products, Mills kept on with the Taco Shells Made from Doritos page, making and posting funny, Photoshopped pictures of movie characters holding the mythical Doritos shells. Eventually, the page racked up over 3,000 likes. The foodie site Food Beast wrote about the TSMFD page, and things really took off. Before long, Mills said, the online food blogs of the New York Times, Wall Street Journal, and Time had linked to the page. The page views soon spiked over a million.

Then, in the middle of February, Mills' phone rang. It was the folks at Taco Bell, inviting Mills out to their headquarters and test kitchens in Irvine, California to taste his fantasy made real (he posted a Photoshop of Willy Wonka's Golden Ticket to mark the occasion). Come to find out, Mills soon learned, Frito Lay had approached Taco Bell in early 2010 (around six months after he says he wrote to them) with the idea of making Doritos-flavored taco shells. It wound up being the biggest product launch in the restaurant's history.

Mills flew to Irvine, got picked up in a limo for a steak dinner, and went to the Taco Bell HQ the next day for a prototype Doritos Locos Taco. Verdict: "It was good. I got one made by the people in the test kitchen, so it was exactly to spec. I've eaten one [in a restaurant] since, and they're good." He wound up getting to meet the CEO of the company, and got some t-shirts and other swag.

As for getting a taste of that sweet, sweet taco money? "Everybody that I tell about this says 'You should be getting some money off these.'" Nevertheless, Mills seems to shrug off the idea that he should lawyer up. "I've never once said that I deserved any sort of compensation," he said. "I can't be the first person to think of this."

On the other hand: "If they wanted to send me a big taco check, that would be alright."

Taco checks? Genius! Why didn't WE think of that?

I can already hear the groans from the foodist elite amongst our readership. There’s a line that certain folks have forged here between the folks who know food and the sheep… and that line is Red Lobster.

I went to check out another chain restaurant this week, thanks to a recommendation from Janelle, who mentioned that the fries at Famous Dave’s BBQ are pretty awesome. Okay, challenge accepted.

We made it a family outing, stopping by one night to get some grub and feed the girl child. Hunter, like most toddlers, likes a good French fry, so we ordered her a chicken finger and fries kids meal ($3.99). And we stole some of her fries — which was par for the course, since she stole our cobs of corn. And yes, they are crispy on the outside, slightly battered and soft on the inside. A good fry.

But how’s the barbecue?

There are several restaurants that fall within the sphere of typical middle-class restaurant. Chili’s, Applebee’s and TGIFriday’s are pretty interchangeable in this matter.

Not so much with Cheddar’s Casual Café. The chain spanning the South and the Midwest features a lot of hearty sandwiches, lush sandwiches, steaks, half-pound burgers and the like — but it’s more about the food than the décor or the attitude or the flair you might get from those other establishments.

The much awaited Chipotle Mexican Grill opens today in Little Rock at the Pleasant Ridge Towne Center. It’s already received a lot of comment from our readership here at the Times; I doubt that conversation will ebb any time soon.

The space is neat — it’s a modernist elongated cube with large window walls. Inside, there are fixed tables and bar stools at a section of bar tables, and a short bar against the east wall. There are traditional height tables as well. The place is rather small, actually, but it can pack a lot of people.

I thought it was interesting that the place has just the one refrigerator, which will be used for dairy things like cheese and sour cream, and for the meats, I am assuming. Vegetables will be brought in several times a week, broken down and taken to the bins up front. The company strives to bring in everything from a 350 mile radius, with few exceptions (avocados come to mind).

So, how does it work? You go in, walk to the right and (if there’s not a line in front of you — fat chance of that today!) start your order when you reach the bar. There are all sorts of choices, from burrito to taco to salad. You choose your protein (beef, chicken, pork, etc.) and what vegetables you want on it and what toppings. There are thousands of combinations. You pay for your food, you fill your own drink, you sit down and consume your meal, you go. Makes sense to me.

People keep asking me how I feel about certain chain restaurants. Frankly, I don’t go to a lot of chain restaurants. But when I do, it’s only fair I tell you about them. Hence, “Chain Link,” entries that will deal specifically with chain operations that have locations here in Arkansas. Enjoy.

Great Wraps is right next t Bedford Camera and Video off North Rodney Parham. Outside of one of those half off coupon offerings, I have seen no advertising on it… but I had mentally bookmarked the location for a stop-in.

I finally found my reason to go the other day while picking up photography supplies. It was about 11:30 p.m. and there was a short line. Behind the counter there were five people working together to turn out one order after another.