Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Ah, those door-to-door sales folks . . . and the perverse amusement I have had at their expense

Posted By on Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM

I suppose it is our fault for not replacing the “No Soliciting” sign when we had our new front door installed. Then again, even when it was up, it didn’t deter a lot of folks; maybe they just thought it meant we didn’t want any prostitutes coming to visit.

It will be interesting to see how well any sort of regulation Fayetteville’s city council can come up with can curb the problem . . . if at all.

There is a persistent fellow who comes by every few months, claiming to be from an alarm company, trying to get us to replace the system we have now. “I see that you have ADT,” he said, after we had shaken hands last week. Flipping through his binder, he opened a page and said, I imagine you have an alarm system that looks just like this one?”

Many annoying things came to mind that I could have said at that moment, but I merely made an excuse to go back into the house. “I’m sorry, my wife is terribly ill today with an awful stomach virus she has picked up somewhere.”

After a pause I said, with seeming worry, “I hope I haven’t given you anything!”

The uncomfortable look on his face was a joy to behold.

There have been times when folks knock on the door who would save my immortal soul . . . from from? Godless liberalism? At such times I assure them that my wife and I are in good shape but that the rest of my neighbors are pagans, and desperately need their help.

The little old ladies who bring church pamphlets by are a different story, however. I am always unfailingly polite to them. Why screw up what karma I may have left by being snotty to senior citizens walking through a neighborhood on a hot day?

Only a first class jerk would do that, I figure.

Little kids selling chocolate also escape the perverse treatment. Hell, sometimes I even buy some.

Last week a young fellow knocked on my door and told me he was the “ . . . son of _____, a few few streets over.”

“That’s nice,” I said.

“Well, they want me to learn some responsibility,” said the young man with “Faith” tattooed across his throat, “so I am I am trying to go to Europe this summer.”

“Have a nice time,” I said.

Ah, but to do that, he’d have to sell some books or magazines, and might I interested? No, I told him politely - and with some amusement, as well, because I had heard this line used about a hundred times in the past.

Sometimes a van will be sitting in your driveway, and an attractive young woman will politely ask if they can clean your rugs for free, just to demonstrate their services, and if you like their job, you could tell all your neighbors.

Sorry ma’am, I haven’t drunk my daily dose of Gullibility today yet.

And then there are the traveling meat guys. One might be legitimate, but I’m not so sure about the other one. Since Tracy’s bout with breast cancer some years ago, our consumption of meat - except for the occasional night out - has dropped dramatically.

But selling meat door-to-door?

No offense to what is probably a legitimate business - some people wouldn’t buy meat anywhere else- but every time one of these guys makes his spiel on the front door step, I flash on all of those flyers for missing dogs and cats I see everywhere I go.

And then, honestly, on one occasion images of the Civil War Andersonville prison camp swept into my head, where prisoners often ate diseased horses.

“No thank you,” I said softly, and closed the door.

So, yes, it would be nice if the Fayetteville City Council can stem the problem of the door-to-door folks, but in the meantime, I thuink we’ll put our sign back up. And it did work, in its own fashion.

No prostitutes ever came to the door.

******

Democrats just want voters . . . what a load of crap

One of the most insipid comments I have read online (or heard on radio/TV) is that “Democrats just want more voters,” when it comes to talking about just about any issue under the sun.

Well, yeah, Babbling Reader, I guess they do, don’t they? Which is what a political party is supposed to do, I think, if it wants to thrive, and even survive. Remember the Whigs? The Bull Moose Party?

One might say the same thing about the GOP . . . except for the fact of their recent behavior when it comes to women, minorities, young people, science, the environment, the working class . . .

*****

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