Wednesday, June 19, 2013

Ah, those door-to-door sales folks . . . and the perverse amusement I have had at their expense

Posted By on Wed, Jun 19, 2013 at 12:31 PM

I suppose it is our fault for not replacing the “No Soliciting” sign when we had our new front door installed. Then again, even when it was up, it didn’t deter a lot of folks; maybe they just thought it meant we didn’t want any prostitutes coming to visit.

It will be interesting to see how well any sort of regulation Fayetteville’s city council can come up with can curb the problem . . . if at all.

There is a persistent fellow who comes by every few months, claiming to be from an alarm company, trying to get us to replace the system we have now. “I see that you have ADT,” he said, after we had shaken hands last week. Flipping through his binder, he opened a page and said, I imagine you have an alarm system that looks just like this one?”

Many annoying things came to mind that I could have said at that moment, but I merely made an excuse to go back into the house. “I’m sorry, my wife is terribly ill today with an awful stomach virus she has picked up somewhere.”

After a pause I said, with seeming worry, “I hope I haven’t given you anything!”

The uncomfortable look on his face was a joy to behold.

There have been times when folks knock on the door who would save my immortal soul . . . from from? Godless liberalism? At such times I assure them that my wife and I are in good shape but that the rest of my neighbors are pagans, and desperately need their help.

The little old ladies who bring church pamphlets by are a different story, however. I am always unfailingly polite to them. Why screw up what karma I may have left by being snotty to senior citizens walking through a neighborhood on a hot day?

Only a first class jerk would do that, I figure.

Little kids selling chocolate also escape the perverse treatment. Hell, sometimes I even buy some.

Last week a young fellow knocked on my door and told me he was the “ . . . son of _____, a few few streets over.”

“That’s nice,” I said.

“Well, they want me to learn some responsibility,” said the young man with “Faith” tattooed across his throat, “so I am I am trying to go to Europe this summer.”

“Have a nice time,” I said.

Ah, but to do that, he’d have to sell some books or magazines, and might I interested? No, I told him politely - and with some amusement, as well, because I had heard this line used about a hundred times in the past.

Sometimes a van will be sitting in your driveway, and an attractive young woman will politely ask if they can clean your rugs for free, just to demonstrate their services, and if you like their job, you could tell all your neighbors.

Sorry ma’am, I haven’t drunk my daily dose of Gullibility today yet.

And then there are the traveling meat guys. One might be legitimate, but I’m not so sure about the other one. Since Tracy’s bout with breast cancer some years ago, our consumption of meat - except for the occasional night out - has dropped dramatically.

But selling meat door-to-door?

No offense to what is probably a legitimate business - some people wouldn’t buy meat anywhere else- but every time one of these guys makes his spiel on the front door step, I flash on all of those flyers for missing dogs and cats I see everywhere I go.

And then, honestly, on one occasion images of the Civil War Andersonville prison camp swept into my head, where prisoners often ate diseased horses.

“No thank you,” I said softly, and closed the door.

So, yes, it would be nice if the Fayetteville City Council can stem the problem of the door-to-door folks, but in the meantime, I thuink we’ll put our sign back up. And it did work, in its own fashion.

No prostitutes ever came to the door.

******

Democrats just want voters . . . what a load of crap

One of the most insipid comments I have read online (or heard on radio/TV) is that “Democrats just want more voters,” when it comes to talking about just about any issue under the sun.

Well, yeah, Babbling Reader, I guess they do, don’t they? Which is what a political party is supposed to do, I think, if it wants to thrive, and even survive. Remember the Whigs? The Bull Moose Party?

One might say the same thing about the GOP . . . except for the fact of their recent behavior when it comes to women, minorities, young people, science, the environment, the working class . . .

*****

Quote of the Day

I'm not a vegetarian because I love animals; I'm a vegetarian because I hate plants. - A. Whitney Brown

rsdrake@cox.net

Favorite

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

More by Richard Drake

  • Trump’s Cleveland Address: 400 Score and 70 years ago

    The man who had been cleared by his very own personal physician as likely to be the healthiest man ever to assume the office of President of the United States flexed his large, powerful hands, his thick, lengthy fingers adjusting his Chinese-made Trump Tie and peered out at the huge crowd in the stadium.
    • Jul 21, 2016
  • Trump campaign accuses Obama administration of “misusing” time travel technology

    A GOP spokesman today denied allegations that Melania Trump “borrowed” parts of her speech to the GOP convention, and said that the incident proved what Donald Trump has believed all along - that the Obama administration has been using time travel technology in order profit politically.
    • Jul 19, 2016
  • The Terrible Truth about call-in shows

    There was a time when I was terribly enamored of television and radio call-in shows - until I had my own for several years and discovered the Terrible Truth: most of these (especially with a local audience) shows have about 17 committed callers.
    • Jul 17, 2016
  • More »

Readers also liked…

  • Fayetteville: Obviously, the only solution is to ban all public restrooms

    When the young man came to the house yesterday delivering something which we had ordered, he expressed appreciation for the “Vote Against Repeal” sign in our front yard.
    • Dec 7, 2014
  • ohn La Tour: Nothing says I trust the people of Fayetteville like being a poll watcher

    Newly elected Fayetteville alderman John La Tour is certainly getting off on the right foot with the people of Fayetteville - he is serving as a poll watcher with the group Repeal 119, which is on the lookout for Fayetteville voters who aren’t actually Fayetteville voters.
    • Dec 8, 2014
  • Lest we forget: Fayetteville has been a community where violence has been committed against the gay community

    While no doubt those who were trembling at the thought of sending their sons and daughters into public restrooms alone can now sleep the sleep of the just (and the paranoid), and those who also relish the idea of turning away business from those they find yucky can run up and down the streets in victory, it might be a good time to quietly reflect on the fact that, though some might vociferously deny it, in the not-so-recent past, Fayetteville hasn’t been such a healthy place for those who have been gay, or even the children of those who have been gay.
    • Dec 9, 2014

Most Shared

  • Tackling autism, child by child

    An Arkansas Children's Hospital doctor is testing a new drug that targets one of a host of ailments the highly individual disorder can cause.
  • 1957 all over again

    Last week, the State Board of Education voted to ignore federal courts and allow school district transfers that will encourage segregation.
  • Death penalty lives

    Barely clinging to its flagging life, the death penalty got a merciful reprieve last month from the unlikeliest quarter, the Arkansas Supreme Court.
  • Drinking culture

    Here we go again. At the rate these campus sexual abuse sagas are making news, it's reasonable to ask what college administrators can possibly be thinking about.

Blogroll

 

© 2016 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation