Now that the A&E Network is seeking a judgement of moral bankruptcy in the court of public opinion, it might be a good idea for them to travel even further down the rabbit hole, and accept the phone calls of Billy Roper of Arkansas, who would make at least as intriguing a character as some of their other “reality” shows have presented us, be they guys who do things with ducks, hunt bounties, or bully innocent little girls on the dance floor.
I mean, Billy ( I can call him Billy cuz we’ve exchanged emails) has everything A&E - does anyone recall that the channel once actually stood for Arts and Entertainment? - seems to be looking for.
He is loud.
He is camera ready - hell, he’s been on Spike TV!
He isn’t afraid to spout nonsense, as is evidenced by this 2005 quote from an interview on Blood & Honour Radio:
"I'm a biological racist. I'd rather have the entire species become extinct except for one white boy and one white girl who were raised by a pack of wild wolves, than our race go under and the world [be] inherited by Asians and mulattos who can play the classical violin and recite Shakespeare."
The above quote, along with other information, is courtesy of the Southern Poverty Law Center. ://www.splcenter.org/get-informed/intelligence-files/profiles/billy-roper
I myself have written about Billy before, during my abortive attempt to get him to appear on my little show.
But a series?
A&E could call it Billy’s World and Welcome to It - with many, many apologies to James Thurber, believe me.
The cuddly ex-Nazi and current KKK ally could sit on his front porch, young children gathered at his knee (he is, after all, a former school teacher) while he foams at the mouth about the mixing of the races and recites his own versions of epic poems to them, such as the ever-popular “Horatius at the Drive-In.” Or we could follow Billy in his car as he rails about diversity, screaming out of his car window at Mexican and Chinese restaurants.
Each show could end with Billy looking over the sunset while he recites one of his favorite inspirational poems (“With no White Clouds at Night, how am I expected to sleep tight?”) or sings a lullaby to one of the one of his hunting dogs.
And, of course, each show would feature Billy interacting with friends, loved ones and folks has only met via the magic of the Internet.
It’s a format that just can’t miss.
Okay, maybe even Walmart wouldn’t carry the inevitable clothing line, but somebody, somewhere would?
So how about it, A&E . . . give a guy a chance!
Quote of the Day
I will protest all my life. I am willing to. But I’m a person who makes, much more than a person who protests, and I think we are that, and I have decided that whenever I protest from now on, and a number of people are doing this too now, I will make something - I will make poems, plant, feed children, build, but not ever protest without making something. I think the whole thing must be made again, - Muriel Rukeyser