Thursday, October 13, 2016

On the matter of Donald Trump and reflecting on one’s own sexuality

Posted By on Thu, Oct 13, 2016 at 2:31 AM

I come from a generation in which magazine articles suggesting that “No means Yes” were ever present in our formative years. We grew up in a world in which women were regarded as castles to be stormed, battles to be won, human beings to be dominated.

At this point a whole bunch of holier-than-thou men are going to leap out of the woodwork and say that their sexual behavior has always been above reproach. Okay, if that helps you sleep at night . . .

I suspect that these same stalwarts are the most vociferous of the Trump defenders this week.

At any rate, guys who want to leap up and eagerly seize the mantle of sexual sainthood can never quite be trusted, I suspect.

But for the rest of us, the ones who have to consider Donald Trump’s words and alleged actions - and Bill Clinton’s, as well - the next few days may well prove to be uncomfortable.

It’s pretty easy to convince ourselves that all of our sexual relationships have been one hundred percent without reproach, that our partners haven’t felt pressured to sleep with us. Hell, we convince ourselves that most of the time, our partners really are having orgasms.

But sometimes, in the wee dark hours of the night, days later, weeks later, years later, we think about our encounters. We worry about them - and it isn’t our sexual performance that we are wondering about.

Was our sexual partner truly our sexual partner? Or did our size, strength and sometimes outright refusal to hear the word “No” - expressed either by word or by action - make them our sexual serf, afraid to walk out?

Have those of us who have achieved any sort of political, creative or athletic celebrity - be it major or minor - used that celebrity as a tool of seduction?

Do we wonder why  former lovers  refuse our Facebook friend requests, avoid us in real life, or never answer the phone when we call? Are we oblivious to the fact that our continued presence among the living makes them nervous, or even afraid?

Have our actions made it harder for the next man in a woman’s life, a man who might well treat them better than we did, that we have left our former lovers no longer with an ability to trust?

Like ripples in a pond, has sexual or emotional immaturity, cruelty or disdain made life worse for people we will never meet?

These are matters which all men who have been sexually active must think about, and confront. And like most men who are honest about themselves, I may well have a long and sleepless night tonight . . .


Tonight’s Soundtrack

No music tonight, just listening to the news.


Now on YouTube: CNN’s Bob Losure - The Interview

My interview with former CNN anchor Bob Losure, who paid me me a nice compliment about my interviewing skills some years ago.


Quote of the Day

My luck is so bad that if I bought a cemetery, people would stop dying. - Rodney Dangerfield



Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Richard Drake

Most Shared

  • Architecture lecture: Sheila Kennedy on "soft" design

    Sheila Kennedy, a professor of architecture at the Massachusetts Institute of Technology and founder of Kennedy & Violich Architecture Ltd., will give the June Freeman lecture tonight at the Arkansas Arts Center, part of the Architecture + Design Network series at the Arkansas Arts Center.
  • UPDATE: Campus carry bill amended by Senate to require training

    The Senate this morning added an amendment to Rep. Charlie Collins campus carry bill that incorporates the effort denied in committee yesterday to require a 16-hour additional training period before university staff members with concealed carry permits may take the weapons on campus.
  • Director to resign from state court administrative office

    Supreme Court Chief Justice John Dan Kemp announced today the resignation of J.D. Gingerich, long-time director of the administrative office of the courts.
  • UA's Walton School eyes downtown location for executive ed program

    The Walton College of Business is working to expand its executive education by opening an office in downtown Little Rock that would offer non-degree programs to the health, banking and finance and retail industries in Central Arkansas, the school confirmed today.

Visit Arkansas

New Crystal Bridges exhibit explores Mexican-American border

New Crystal Bridges exhibit explores Mexican-American border

Border Cantos is a timely, new and free exhibit now on view at Crystal Bridges.



© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation