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Re: “Open line”
http://jezebel.com/republican-gays-wear-tu…
I'm a little hurt lesbians aren't addressed by this Republican as to why gay folks aren't deserving of any equality legislation in the workplace. If all gay men will show up to work in tutus, according to the Republican, what will the lesbians wear?
Will we show up dressed as lumberjacks? Or, as bikers in some leather ensemble? I'd like to know so I can stock up on these items in the off chance that ENDA is passed.
Re: “Father's day line”
Yes, they were, Perplexed. They had fun time on the beach from about 2-4 p.m. and then they all disappeared to their rooms to prepare for meditation time. They were confined by the honchos at all times during beach time (i.e., honchos would have two red balls where kids were allowed to frolic in the ocean between said barriers, about 20 yards wide and about waist deep). They had a separate volleyball net, too. They looked like they were having fun during that 2-hour period.
Re: “Father's day line”
Got home from a relaxing week at the beach yesterday. We left at 5:30 a.m. and were home by 2. Though it takes about 90 minutes longer going down due to traffic, I was singing Durango's praises for that I-165 bypass route away from that damn tunnel.
It easily saved us 1-2 hours because traffic was already backing up outside Mobile on 98. Durango, remind me to give you a french-kiss the next time I see you (WIES wants in on that hot, man-action, too).
The weather was fantastic for most of the week but there was one little glitch. WIES and I were down there with another couple (except for a two-day visit from my oldest friend from Alabama - she's a happily-married hetero with two teenage kids) when 14 busloads of high school kids came in from a large Baptist church in Houston.
This was last Sunday night. Needless to say, we were horrified. Not only was the $1800 condo a relative dump, now we were going to deal with this?
Actually, it wasn't that bad, truth be told. I have to give them their props...they were very well-behaved and polite. But, they had this "ritual'' thing they did every day at 8:30 a.m. and 5:30 p.m.
All 600 or so kids would walk quietly to the beach, spread out individually, and perch on beach towels. Some had Bibles, some would sit up straight with their eyes closed, and others would stare ahead with no emotion. This lasted for exactly 30 minutes until the adult church honcho sounded a horn.
They would then organize in a single file back up the ramp, get hosed off (from sand) by another church honcho and march to one of the awaiting 14 buses to get carted off to some catered thing in a wide-open space about 4 miles from our condo. I know this because curiosity got the best of me and I inquired.
(Brief aside: I snapped a photo of this twice-daily occurrence because it took up the whole beach and I sent it to Mountaingirl. I think she thought it as odd and cultish-like as I did).
We were all down at the beach on Wednesday and we cracked open our first beer at 3. Here we were, four lesbians (and the token breeder) drinking & smoking (not WIES) and I was even reading "Helter Skelter'' (I bought the book because I hadn't read it...fascinating, BTW). Oh, we were playing rock & roll music, too:)
So, the church kids start marching down on the beach and spreading out their prayer towels. I was 4 beers in and knew I needed to use the little girls' room but was reluctant to walk by the group (literally, I had to walk between their towels to get to the ramp back up to the condo to use the facilities).
Of course, WIES told me to go in the ocean. As y'all know, that's not an option. I REFUSE to do that. There's enough Southern Belle, sorority girl in me that I demand a private toilet with a door that locks.
I bit the bullet, grabbed another beer for the trip to the bathroom and made my way through the maze of high-school students who were being taught to hate people like me.
(Another aside: Okay, Skypilot, I didn't hear anything of the sort but I know what Southern Baptists are taught about us. Just because Mike Huckabee would be polite to my face if he thought me a potential donor, I know where he directs his political weight. He and Southern Baptists want us to be ostracized as evil with no equality whatsoever. That is not up for debate).
So here I am with a Vandy hat and Auburn shorts walking around these teenagers and I got the funniest looks. It could've been the beer in my hand and my tipsy look, but I bet they were perplexed as to why I was torn between two SEC teams. Yep, that was probably it.
They were all packed up and gone by dawn Friday. It was nice to have the heathen beach back for our last day, but I really got a kick out of watching that twice-daily ritual. It got somewhat addicting to watch. I literally stared with my mouth agape every time.
Happy Fathers' Day to all the blog dads. I talked to my cute, 82-year-old dad today and we had the best chat. Even though he has some nutty thinking (he loves Pat Robertson and gave tons of $$$ to Roy Moore in his election to the Alabama Supreme Court), he has a heart of gold and I adore him.
He's been a great dad, a wonderful provider and never let any of his five kids down whenever we needed him. Plus, he's a happy, funny guy who's loved by everyone he knows. Well, my Mom would say differently, but that's for another blog post:)
Cheers to all the dads out there. We lesbians wouldn't be here without you.
Mrs. Sistertoldja
P.S. Great post, Olphart.
Re: “It Could Happen to You: the open line”
WOW, is right. Thanks for posting, Max...who could not be touched by that?
I'd like to think that wouldn't happen to us because we drew up wills and powers-of-attorney long ago. I know our Connecticut marriage license doesn't mean squat in this redneck state, but we're hopeful the overturn of DOMA (fingers crossed) will render the bigots more toothless than they are now.
WIES and I were just discussing our weird family dynamics. She literally grew up in the trailer park but defied the odds to earn her BS and Masters degrees, worked her way from enlisted status to a Major in our Armed Forces and is a thriving teacher in our public school system. She is the most successful person in 5 generations of her family by far.
WIES's family loves her like nobody's business. She saw her sister, aunts, nieces, nephews and cousins when she was away this weekend and came home so happy. I've met the whole crew several times and they couldn't have been nicer and more welcoming to me, knowing I was her partner.
Unlike WIES, I came from privilege. I never had to get a job in college and I can't tell you how much of my daddy's money I spent in my four years as a college student in Nashville in the '80s. I was spoiled rotten.
I knew I couldn't move back to Alabama after graduation. They made it perfectly clear to me how they felt about "faggots'' and I knew I couldn't make the "choice'' of marrying some guy whom my parents approved. Ick...that would be like Durango choosing to marry DBI.
That's when I became a card-carrying, Hillcrest lesbian who could be herself:)
As y'all know, most of my family doesn't even know I've been with the love of my life for almost 8 years now. (Well, they do know about my orientation because they're not blithering idiots. None has ever come to visit me - outside my Mom - in the last 25 years. I only see them on Christmas when I go there and my wife is nowhere around).
No, this isn't a woe-is-me post, believe it or not. This is fucking reality for gay people who have evangelical family members. I'm not bothered by it. It's what I'm accustomed to, as is every gay person over the age of realization.
My oldest sister - divorced from her adulterous, minister husband - is the most overt and she makes me chuckle with her ignorance. (I do love her even though I think she's perhaps the most naïve and self-involved human on the planet).
She organized carpools to "Hate the Gay Day'' at Chick-Fil-A and chronicled her adventures on Facebook. I can't tell you how disappointed I was when most of my family "liked'' her status. Good lord!
We had a long chat several months ago and I don't how the subject even came up. She told me should could "sort of'' understand gay men but that "lesbians were the worst.'' Lesbians are all "men-haters who weren't pretty enough to get a man.''
Honestly, she said that. WIES and I hee-hawed about that one for a month.
Here's my point...I once assumed higher education negated bigotry. It doesn't.
WIES's family isn't educated. Mine is super educated. WIES's family isn't religious. Mine is super religious. WIES's family is open to our marriage. Mine isn't.
Hmmm, what can I discern from this logic? Oh, I don't know. You tell me?
Now, SkyPilot, there are "good'' Christians out there, no doubt. However, y'all are outnumbered 10-1 by the Pharisees.
When someone can make a case that removes marriage-equality bigotry away from organized religion, I will march down Kavanaugh with an "Elect Mike Huckabee for President, 2016'' sign. It can't be done.
Oh, the fertility argument doesn't work. It's been shot down about 100 times now in court.
I've gone on way too long, but WIES made me scream-laugh about the proposition of my dying suddenly and her having to deal with my family and a funeral. I can envision a scenario how they'd put up a fuss about bringing my remains back to Alabama.
Her words, "I'll go all trailer-park on their asses if they even think of coming here and start making demands. I'll rearrange your sister's nose if she says one word to me. If you die, I won't care about living anyway. I certainly won't care about going to jail for assaulting your bigoted-ass sister.''
This is one of the many reasons I love WIES:)
Off to bed,
Mrs. Sistertoldja
Re: “Friday finish — An oldie but goodie for legislature? A rebuttal for Tom Cotton”
Durango,
It's weird, but I've thought about you several times this week. I'm crazy about lots of hetero men (not in a sexual way, mind you) but you pique my interest like no other.
Last week, HHW came to LR on a whim to check on her house and asked me at the last minute to meet for a drink at a local watering hole. I obliged and we were having our normal conversation when we were swooped on by the weirdest group (she'll attest).
A straight man who looked like the American version of Jesus was the most interesting one of the bunch. In fact, I dubbed him "Anglo-Saxon Jesus.'' He was a very attractive man in his late 20s who was bearded and had longish brown hair.
HHW announced he couldn't be Jesus because he didn't have blue eyes. I agreed, as did Anglo-Saxon Jesus.
ASJ (Anglo-Saxon Jesus) then told us how he had dated a lesbian whom he really liked. Their affair lasted about a month before the lesbian broke up with ASJ. Apparently, he didn't see it coming (insert laughter here) and he was left looking for answers.
I wanted to placate him, but I liked him and told him the truth. "Some lesbians, not me, view men as a human dildos. They will use you to simply get off. These women don't care about you. They're using you as a human vibrator.''
ASJ had a look on his face like he was freed from emotional bondage. I guess I had put it in terms he could understand.
Of course, Durango, that doesn't apply to you. Our time in the Caribbean was special! I never would've drugged you and left you for dead in that high-priced villa you rented if it wasn't my time of the month. I was embarrassed and needed to take the first flight home. You understand, right?
WIES is out of town this weekend attending her nephew's graduation from the U of Missouri, so I thought you'd be kind enough to give me a winner in the Preakness. Wanna come over with a little Dom? I'll provide the cheese and crackers, hunky man o' my dreams:)
Hugs and kisses,
Mrs. Sistertoldja
P.S. This is my song to you....(sorry there's an ad).
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wv-34w8kGPM
Oh, one last thing, can you provide that short-cut to the beach again to avoid the Mobile tunnel? We're going soon.
Love you:)
Re: “The worst Mother's Day gifts”
I'm sorry about your Mom, Dott. You were and are a good son. I'll be thinking about your loss Sunday. My WIES lost her Mom recently too, so she knows what you're going through. Take care, my friend.
Re: “Monday night line”
I'm cracking up, Mountaingirl.
I guess I had the girls fooled at the sorority house at Vanderbilt that I was a 300-pound black man.
However, and never forget, WIES and I are the proud parents of Cam Newton's 3-year-old son. He'll be the starting quarterback at a junior high next season.
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