the outlier 
Member since Oct 18, 2010

Recent Comments

Re: “Love Wins open line: And a Confederate flag is coming down

He he. . . . Mom had such a love of words and an appreciation for good writing, she would really appreciate me correcting this sentence:

". . .as she drifted in and out of that sleepiness that seems to precede death."

Thank you all again so so much. Your kind words, love and admiration for her comfort me more than you know.

Heather/Hayden

7 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 07/08/2015 at 10:27 AM

Re: “Love Wins open line: And a Confederate flag is coming down

Hello to all from Nancy/The Outlier's daughter Heather/Hayden. I'm so sorry to confirm to all of you that my beautiful, feisty mother you all knew and loved did pass on June 30th. I knew how much the blog meant to her as I saw her typing away on it every day. I was intending to get a message out but wasn't quite sure how. So thanks to eLwood for providing the link and making it easy.

I was so overwhelmed to read all of your comments. It made me cry all over again, which is quite alright as it's all just part of the healing process. My mother was diagnosed with late stage breast cancer early this year. I guess she was a little busy trying to make the world a better place and missed the boat on that one a bit. That was Mom. She kept it very quiet, only letting a few family members know. She was
never in much pain or very sick, only some fatigue. Although we knew she was terminal, we thought she had more time. She had some chemo treatments scheduled in July. She took a sudden downward turn and failed very fast. She walked into her last radiation treatment on June 25th and was gone by June 30th. Although she left me sooner than I had hoped, it was blessing that she never had excruciating pain, became non-ambulatory or had to lay in bed helpless for months. She would have hated that.

My wonderful brother got here in time to be with her. I think she waited for him. We kept vigil by her bed in the hours before she passed as she drifted in and out of that sleepiness that seems to proceed death. When she would wake, she still had that spunky sense of humor we loved so much. At one point we offered her a margarita and with wide eyes and a big smile she said "SURE!" (Of course we didn't give her one.) She got to be at home, with the two of us when she died. We told her how much we
loved her and thanked her for the gifts of life, love and joy that she gave to us. We cheered her into the great beyond with both tears and laughter. She would not have wanted it any other way.

I knew the blog was a huge part of her life, but 9400 comments. My goodness! I started reading through them a few days ago and decided I'm just going to have to buckle down and print them all out so I don't lose them. I guess it's a way to hold onto a bit more of her. I came to live with her two years ago to have a place to work on music and keep expenses low. I am so grateful that I got to spend the last two years of her life with her. So many adult children don't get that with their parents. We had many wonderful, special times together. . . so many good, fun memories.

It seems like you all knew her very well (9400 passionate comments. . . how could you not!). And she was all of those things. But for me she was just the best mother anyone could have asked for. I loved her so much. She loved me and my brother so unconditionally and supported every decision we ever made. When I decided to take the road less traveled as a struggling musician, to not marry young, if at all, to not have kids, she never batted an eye and even walked away from a few friends who decided to voice their objections to it. She championed my life. She was my angel. I will miss her so much.

I changed her avatar picture to one of my favorite pictures of her when she was young. She was so beautiful. I thank you all for your comments and the outpouring of love here. My brother will love to read these as well. We appreciate it so much.

Sincerely,
Heather/Hayden

P.S. Mom got to see the Supreme Court "get it right" twice in one week. She was happy. Not a bad political note to go out on . . . not a bad one at all.

18 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 07/07/2015 at 8:38 PM

Re: “Suprise! Obamacare has signficantly reduced the number of uninsured Americans

You are so full if shit, pat hays.

The daughter in this working family is now able to get medical coverage without pre-existing conditions rules and regulations.

She had crappy, BC/BS a few years back---hospitalization ONLY. She was forced to cash in her IRAs to fund her co-pays for a Periacetabular Osteotomy (PAO) surgery. It was way over $20,000 not to mention the lost wages.

Look up PAO surgery. It is a very serious operation!

2 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 06/23/2015 at 3:00 PM

Re: “The Call It What It Is Edition

Driftglass has a somewhat long post up---"Upon this Hate, I Will Build My Church".

It is worth the time to read it!

http://driftglass.blogspot.com/2015/06/upo…

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 06/20/2015 at 10:59 AM

Re: “The Call It What It Is Edition

The confederate battle flag flies at full staff over the South Carolina capital. Still! It is a symbol of treason and President Obama is on the moral high ground when he says it belongs in a museum.

Bigots defend it as a symbol of "southern heritage". NO. IT. IS. NOT!

Definition of "southern heritage": Pick a fight (South Carolina was the first state to secede), get your ass kicked, and spend the next 150 years whining and sniveling about it.

10 likes, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 06/20/2015 at 5:37 AM

Re: “LOL: Donald Trump is running for president

Trump is a fat-fingered vulgarian who wears a merkin on his head. So is Rand Paul!

You can almost believe he actually believes his own hype.

1 like, 0 dislikes
Posted by the outlier on 06/17/2015 at 8:39 AM

Re: “Hillary Clinton launches campaign with speech on Roosevelt Island

Doigotta, Her critics like to criticize Hillary for her fleshy hips and thighs. Research shows that kind of body-type to be much healthier than the "apple-type" as we age. Belly fat contains a lot of female hormone making one prone to diabetes and breast cancer among other things.

3 likes, 1 dislike
Posted by the outlier on 06/14/2015 at 1:13 PM

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