Or it could be the "God Done It Act," which will state that while grading any biology or geology exam taken by an Arkansas student, teachers are required by law to accept "God Done It" as an acceptable answer to any question. Also acceptable: "God Dun That," "Gah Dood Dit," or "Werk of the Devil."
Or there's always the potential for: "The Cantrell Road Viaduct Hole Unborn Child Protection Act of 2013," which makes it a crime for any employee of the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department to tamper with the giant pothole that opened up on the Cantrell Road viaduct today, just in case there's a fetus in there.
Personally, my vote is for:
The "You Can Have My Gun When You Pry It From My Translucent, Unformed Fingers Act of 2013." If enacted, the bill would require every woman of fertile age to have a small caliber handgun implanted in the lining of her uterus so that any potential fetus can immediately begin to fend off abortion doctors.
While looking up some information on Bob yesterday, I ran across the following webpage, which discusses young Lancaster's brief stint as editor of "The Bray," the student newspaper of Southern State College (now SAU-Magnolia), during which time he managed to piss off the administration and the Governor so much that he was eventually fired on the recommendation of Faubus himself: http://web.saumag.edu/archives/archives/hi…
Then there's Bob's very in-depth 2005 interview with Mara Leveritt about his life, working in newspapers, and how he found his distinctive voice: http://pryorcenter.uark.edu/projects/arkan…
If nobody else is gonna, I'll start this show: Who, oh Lord, will be man enough to fill Little Rock's wiener hole now that Hot Dog Mike is pulling out?!
First story I ever worked on for the Times back in August 2002 (was I really ever 28 years old?) was about HS Village pulling the majority of the clean water out of the Middle Fork of the Saline River and replacing it with thousands of gallons of treated effluent (translation: treated sewage). They claimed the treated effluent was safe and clean, even though they refused to use it for things like watering golf courses. Folks along the river were understandably up in arms, including Hurlon Ray, an old retired gent who had spent his whole life working for the Environmental Protection Agency (he actually helped draft the Clean Water Act) and then dedicated his retirement to fighting for clean water near his home in Lonsdale. He died up that way in July 2008. I've still got a letter of thanks from him on The Wall of Fame and Shame beside my desk. He was one of the good ones.
Hurlon took me out to see the Middle Fork while I was writing that story. Having grown up near the South Fork of the Saline (that was one of our go-to swimming holes when I was a teenager), it was clear to me from the moment we walked up to the bank that something was wrong. During the summers, he said, the Middle Fork would run with nothing but treated effluent, and I remember the rocks in the bottom of the river were so covered in brown algae that they looked like soggy meatballs.
Ah, memories.
Wishing BP executives dead.