http://www.arktimes.com/ArkansasBlog/archives/2013/02/15/friday-night-lines Comments On: Friday night lines by Max Brantley en-us Copyright 2013 Arkansas Times. All rights reserved. This RSS file is offered to individuals, Arkansas Times readers, and non-commercial organizations only. Any commercial websites wishing to use this RSS file, please contact Arkansas Times. robert@arktimes.com (Arkansas Times Webmaster) Wed, 22 May 2013 00:00:01 -0500 Wed, 22 May 2013 18:00:00 -0500 Foundation http://blogs.law.harvard.edu/tech/rss
Here's the thing....Leech isn't infirmed or in poor mental heath (aside from her multiple procedures of late). She's actually very bright and we agree politically about everything. She's just a lonely older lady who found a couple of saps across the street and likes to take advantage. She's the definition of a user.

WIES is a much bigger sap than I ever thought about being. She takes financial care of that horrible bigot step-dad of hers and doesn't think a thing of it (even though he's the only reason why we've had serious disagreements). WIES thinks we should bend over backwards indefinitely for Leech because "it's the right thing to do.'' Obviously, I disagree because Leech overstepped our boundaries of generosity long ago. I see users from a mile away and avoid them while she openly embraces them.

WIES thinks it's her duty to do right by them. I'm not sure if I should laud her for that quality or think of her as the ultimate doormat. In any event, she's the kindest woman I've ever known, though she may be the most naive.

I felt like a heel for a little while tonight. Leech called with her grocery list and I said to WIES, "This is your job now. I've washed my hands of it.''

WIES came back with a card the daughter-in-law left for us before she went back to Texas. It thanked us profusely for our kindness to Leech and included a $40 gift card. WIES showed me the card and said, "See, wasn't that nice?'' She looked at me with a hint of "I told you so.''

WIES is at the grocery store getting Leech's list and I'm actually furious about this so-called gesture. So, daughter-in-law can pay the nice lesbians $40 for taking care of their responsibility for the next 3 months? On top of that, WIES is more sold than ever that this is the "right thing to do.''

I'm stuck. Leech has won the battle of wits for WIES's mind. I'm the bitch and she's the poor, nice, needy lady across the street.

Good Lord! This needs to be a sit-com.
Posted by Mrs. Sistertoldja]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 18:52:18 -0600 Arkansas Times
Please have the neighbor (or yourself) contact LifeQuest at 225-6073. They offer a "Caring Wheels" program that provides transportation to medical appointments. I am a volunteer driver for them, and it is a good program.
Posted by CammackLife]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 11:24:28 -0600 Arkansas Times
Just another thought, FWIW.

And still no charge.
Posted by SkyPilot]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 09:38:29 -0600 Arkansas Times Given that the daughter asked to piggyback your Wi-Fi and seemingly headed home pretty quickly, I'd say that she might be a bit of a user. Perhaps she's not even aware, or doesn't care, that bounds do/should exist. So my guess is that the family will be less receptive to a friend's or neighbor's heads up, than to a semi-official heads-up.
My opinion, for what it's worth ...
Posted by Doigotta]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 09:25:32 -0600 Arkansas Times
Having cared for two terminally ill parents over the past four, I know what hard work this is, how exhausting it can be, and to be perfectly honest, it is something that can consume your life to the point you feel you have no life outside of the caregiving. I can’t imagine the feeling you might have if this were not a family member, and especially if it was someone you were not emotionally attached to.

Something that compounds your problem is that you work from home. I have found that sometimes, people do not respect the parameters of others whose office is in their home. We have this happen all of the time when the hubby is here. They assume he is HOME and invite him to go and do all sort of things, not understanding he had volumes of paperwork and research he has to do before he heads out again. This lady probably sees you home and assumes you are free to run her errands and cater to her needs, not understanding the nature of your work requires uninterrupted time and space.

I agree with all Sky said but I would suggest one initial step before calling Social Services. I think you and your spouse should have a heart-to-heart with the lady’s family. They may not understand their mother is obviously no longer able to care for herself. Maybe they don’t know what an imposition she has been or the responsibility she has placed on you and your wife. And if they do know and are letting it continue, shame on them.

I think you should talk to them and tell them you are very concerned about her welfare and based on her dependency on the two of you, do not feel she can live alone anymore. Tell them that you don’t mind assisting in an emergency but you both have a lot on your plate right now and with summer coming up, it will get worse. Tell them that you will be in and out and no longer available to run daily errands, etc. In other word, that you can no longer assume the responsibility for her care. Suggest they consider assisted living or moving her closer to FAMILY. Approach the conversation, not with animosity, but with concern for her welfare and I think they will be more receptive. And tell them because you are so concerned about her living arrangements, you wanted to talk to them before someone called Social Services because many people are aware of her situation. I can’t imagine any family wanting to appear they were neglecting an elderly relative.

The longer you let this go, the more infirmed she will become, thus increasing her dependability on your family. Plus, you need to consider your liability. What if something happens while she and her family consider her to be in your care? What if you had a car accident with her or didn’t make the right decision about her care? They will blame you.

I know you and your spouse well enough to know you are both kind and caring people who would do anything to help a friend, so I also know how hard this is to wean yourself from this lady who is obviously taking advantage of your generosity. But involving her family and getting them to assume their responsibility may be the only way to get your own life back.
Posted by mountaingirl]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 08:37:19 -0600 Arkansas Times
Sister: Suggestions:

1. Reinstall your wireless router and change the security code. Or, you can let her just keep on piggy-backing if you don't mind, although your security is compromised if someone else has your key code.

2. With landline telephone: Put answering machine on short-ring and message that you'll pick up if possible; otherwise, leave message. Then use answering machine to screen calls. If she calls, wait until midnight to answer--if at all. (This may not work if you're doing business by phone.)

3. With cell phone: Set to send messages to voice mail similar to #2--if it doesn't interfere with your business.

4. Social services needs to be notified. And you need to protect yourself. There can be legal issues when you take on assistance for the elderly or infirm. And if by any chance this lady really does think you're her granddaughter and is thereby exhibiting symptoms of Alzheimer's or other dementia, there are serious considerations beyond just doing a few favors for a neighbor.

I think the only way to discourage users is to be unavailable. "People treat you the way you teach them to treat you." Enabling users works the same way as enabling addicts; you become co-dependent. And "if you keep on doing what you've been doing, you'll keep on getting what you've been getting." For the situation to change, one of you two has to change, and it doesn't sound as if it's likely to be she.

Of course, free advice (suggestions) is as good as what you pay for it.

IMHO
Posted by SkyPilot]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 06:33:31 -0600 Arkansas Times Posted by Verla Sweere]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 03:29:34 -0600 Arkansas Times
http://www.flickr.com/photos/78761157@N06/…
Posted by radical centrist]]> Sat, 16 Feb 2013 00:48:37 -0600 Arkansas Times Posted by radical centrist]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:40:59 -0600 Arkansas Times
YES! Plus, I did it just like the Crotch Bros do it...I gave it
to an "uncoordinated" party who ran a campaign of "information" about Elizabeth's opposition, Pin-Up Boy Brown. See with 401(c) donations I get to deduct the contribution as an expense on 1040. I'll settle for my little $50 while the Crotch Bros take millions in 401(c) deductions.

Sister, I been there with one of those. She had run off her son, sister and a brother and was going thru friends pretty damn fast with her neediness. She got sent to nursing home and died providing relief to many.

Funny as hell NVR!
Posted by eLwood]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 23:26:49 -0600 Arkansas Times
http://www.bodhipaksa.com/blog/wp-content/…
Posted by NeverVoteRepublican]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 22:41:17 -0600 Arkansas Times
Well, that neighbor of ours is becoming an issue again. She's the 71-year-old who stayed with us for 4 days during the Christmas snow storm. The one who wears her dentures sparingly and has never seen a toe-nail clipper. The one who apparently thinks I'm her flipping grand-daughter. (I'm not. I am only an acquaintance because she had the good fortune to move across the street. Otherwise, I can't envision a time when we'd even be social).

Now don't get wrong. I'll be the first to assist an elderly neighbor in time of need. I adore the geriatric folks. Did I tell you about my stint working in the nursing home when I was in high school? I was social director for the summer (Full Disclosure: Dad owned the nursing home and all the Toldja kids were required to work there).

Be that as it may, I truly enjoyed it and have always felt the over-70 crowd was a fountain of knowledge (except for social issues).

Aside from the snow-storm debacle, I have taken my neighbor to 6 doctors appointments in the last 2 years. She had hip surgery 8 months ago and I did all her shopping for 3 months (it was supposed to be 6 weeks.) It occurred to me like a punch to the face that she was a garden-variety user when a friend spotted her at Kroger tooling around with her buggy while she was still asking me to run errands. My errand-running stopped at that point and I began to do a slow burn. I didn't make it a big deal with WIES because A) I didn't think it was an issue, and B) She's old.

She house-sat for us for a few days this summer and left the house a wreck and didn't turn WIES down when she paid her $100. Good Lord!

I guess I really started seething when she informed me last November that she was getting her other hip done in February (now) and needed me to run all her errands again. Then the Christmas-thing-that-wouldn't-leave-monster came and I was becoming irate. I was truly starting to hate this woman!

I let WIES know exactly how I felt and was placated with the predictable, "Be nice to the elderly, blah blah blah.'' See, WIES doesn't have to deal with the bull-shit. She has two jobs and is bone tired after a hard day of work. I work out of the home and am here most of the time.

The Leech's daughter-in-law came for a week from Texas to help her after surgery. Oh, did I mention they get free Wi-Fi from feeding off of us? Daughter-in-law called to ask for our password for her ipad.

Leech has some sense that I'm put-off because she only calls WIES's cell phone now. She called tonight and said she had an EYE appointment Thursday and needed someone to drive her there. Also, she was running low on groceries and needed someone to make a run.

I wasn't happy, to say the least. WIES thinks I'm sort of a bitch because I'm not nice to the elderly. GOOD LORD!!!

Here was our agreement. I told WIES I'd take her to her appointment but all shopping would be on her (WIES) from now on. My prayer is for Leech to move to Texas so her FUCKING FAMILY CAN TAKE CARE OF HER! Jeez!

This is what I've learned...old people are neglected by their blood relatives and leech off kind people. Kind people will never say "no'' even if it causes strife in their own home. They just don't. They'll fight amongst themselves but will enable the leech because the leech is "helpless'' and "old.''

Blood-relative children who depend on the kindness of neighbors for their leech parents need to be hung by their testicles and nipples.

This has been therapeutic. My ire is not aimed at the leech; it's at her worthless children (she has 2).

Til next time,

Mrs. Sistertoldja
Posted by Mrs. Sistertoldja]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 22:37:10 -0600 Arkansas Times
http://mariopiperni.com/wp-content/uploads…
Posted by NeverVoteRepublican]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 22:17:22 -0600 Arkansas Times
That is their excuse. I think it has more to do with customers being tired of Walmart not hiring enough employees and stocking less and less variety.
Posted by the real any*mouse but login hates me]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 21:27:26 -0600 Arkansas Times
http://www.katv.com/story/21221721/arkansa…
Posted by radical centrist]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:40:17 -0600 Arkansas Times Posted by radical centrist]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:10:58 -0600 Arkansas Times
Or in the case of the AR legislature, those who have the gold, buys themselves a bunch of whores for not very much. Timmy Grifin was more expensive but a whore is a whore, the only issue is price!
Posted by couldn't be better]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 20:06:06 -0600 Arkansas Times > the most obvious is a search for alcohol, especially on campuses where such items are prohibited.

Unless you're in the lucky sperm club up in a university-owned skybox.
Posted by eLwood]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 19:49:19 -0600 Arkansas Times
He said this is very common throughout the United States, not just on college campuses but high schools and pro parks as well. He carries a radar gun and other equipment when he goes to games, and even though he has MLB credentials, TSA credentials and FCC credentials, he said his bag is always searched if they have a security checkpoint at the entrance to a ball park.

He tells me this is for several reasons. Usually ballparks do not want people bringing in food from the outside. The food and beverage vendors have contracts with the stadiums, and in the case of high schools, the food vendors are usually fund raisers for the baseball team. Also, most stadiums do not allow glass bottles of any kind so security is looking for those. And the most obvious is a search for alcohol, especially on campuses where such items are prohibited.

So, apparently, the new U of A policy is in line with procedures around the country.
Posted by mountaingirl]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:57:25 -0600 Arkansas Times
Well, why don't you start here and when you get to the point where you want to actually apply in person, you report back on that.

http://www.snap-step1.usda.gov/fns/

Sounds like the party of "less government" is becoming the party that wants a national ID system to verify your right to receive any government services.
Posted by wannabee conservative]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:42:57 -0600 Arkansas Times
· The U. S. is recovering from the recession, but slowly.
· Jobs are coming back but more slowly in Arkansas than in the rest of the nation. However, Arkansas did not lose as many jobs as other states.
· Fiscal cliff was resolved but left country with uncertainty. Uncertainty is the enemy of recovery.

· No reason for the uncertainty except politics
· Debt ceiling is a self-inflicted problem.
· Sequestration is still in play causing further uncertainty.
· Europe is muddling through but should be all right barring unexpected shock.
· China’s slow growth is a threat to U. S. recovery because we need them to buy our exports.

· Least optimistic group is small businesses which report lack of demand for products main reason for not expanding.
· Banks are not optimistic because of too little borrowing,
· Consumers are optimistic and are spending more, but must have more income to really make a difference. Debt levels are down; savings rate is up.

·NWA labor force is growing without the unemployment rate going up. (4.6 in NWA)
· Six per cent used to be considered ideal rate for unemployment to keep a good balance between business and labor.
· State tax rates are only one factor among many that make an area attractive to new business. (as in “job magnet”)
· And a final point not to be missed is that the Consumer confidence has historically gone up when Democrats occupy the White House.
Posted by eLwood]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:10:42 -0600 Arkansas Times
Beebe has confirmed himself as no longer a Republican Lite. He's full-on Regular now.
Posted by wannabee conservative]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:05:50 -0600 Arkansas Times Posted by mountaingirl]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:04:48 -0600 Arkansas Times Thanks.
Posted by Razorblade]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 18:02:53 -0600 Arkansas Times
Her first days on job:

"Elizabeth Warren Embarrasses Hapless Bank Regulators At First Hearing

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/02/14/e…
Posted by eLwood]]> Fri, 15 Feb 2013 17:45:08 -0600 Arkansas Times