Best and Worst of Arkansas, 2012
by David Koon
Worst deja vu all over again
Just like New Year's Eve 2011, New Year's Eve 2012 saw Beebe once again covered in tiny corpses as over 400 blackbirds dropped dead, littering yards on New Year's Day. Authorities blamed illegal fireworks, which roused the night-blind birds from their roosts and caused them to run into buildings, trees and cars.
Worst conflict resolution
The Little Rock Police Department SWAT Team rolled on a house near downtown in January after 911 operators received a call from a woman saying she was being held hostage by a man with a gun. After a tense standoff in which several tear gas canisters were fired into the house, both the man and woman emerged. Only then, police said, did the woman tell officers that she had actually called 911 to try and scare the man into giving her a set of car keys.
Best missing the point
A girl was shot in Little Rock during a street brawl that police said began when two groups started arguing while watching the city's annual Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. parade
Worst train/motorcycle wreck
On April Fool's Day, University of Arkansas head football coach Bobby Petrino took a spill on his Harley while riding on a twisty rural road in North Arkansas, which might have not been big news if the 51-year-old married father of four hadn't had his comely, 25-year-old mistress — who Petrino had hired as a team coordinator four days before the wreck — on the back of the bike. After waiting over a week to 'fess up to an "improper relationship," Petrino was canned on April 10.
Best expensive
Petrino was fired from the University "with cause," which meant he didn't get the $18 million dollar buyout stipulated in his contract.
Best name
That would be one Nimrod Lumpkin, who filed for a marriage license in Pulaski County in late February. At press time, William Faulkner was unavailable for comment on how a character had escaped from one of his books.
Worst date
During the discovery phase for a federal discrimination lawsuit filed by former Pulaski County Coroner Garland Camper, it was disclosed that Camper had admitted to having sex with a stripper in the county morgue.
Worst bromance
In June, two men were arrested at the Lowe's home improvement store in Fayetteville after they passed out in a parking lot floral display after huffing a can of keyboard duster.
Best random
In March, a teenager in Rogers pulled a prank in which she texted "I hid the body... now what?" to a random phone number. That random number happened to belong to a local police detective, who quickly tracked her down. She was let go with a warning.
Worst draw
In March, police in Lake Village said that two Louisiana men were so busy fist-fighting in the middle of Highway 82 in Chicot County around 1:30 a.m. that they never saw an oncoming 18-wheeler. Both were killed.
Worst passing
Levon Helm, the Arkansas-born musician who fronted The Band, died on April 19.
Best herd
The Humane Society of the Ozarks put out an urgent call for foster families in November after 65 Chihuahuas were rescued from a single mobile home in West Fork.
Worst logic
An Associated Press story in March about attempts by the town of Harrison (which the head of the Southern Poverty Law Center said is "a gathering point for white supremacists") to shed its racist image featured one white resident quoted as saying: "How can it be a racist town if there's no blacks here?"
Worst weapon
In April, a man attempted the armed robbery of a convenience store in Fort Smith. His weapon: a pair of hot dog tongs from the store's food counter. "He attempted to rob the place," a Fort Smith Police Department spokesman later told a local TV station, "but really, I guess, nobody took him seriously enough to actually give him money." The man was arrested and charged with robbery.
Speaking of...
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Will the Arkansas Chamber of Commerce press a 'tort reform' initiative?
May 22, 2013I heard yesterday that the Arkansas State Chamber of Commerce is expected to decide in June whether to mount a petition campaign to put a "tort reform" constitutional amendment on the ballot in 2014. /more/
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UPDATE: Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson, Bill Clinton on lawyer suspension list
May 17, 2013On March 8, the Supreme Court suspended the license of state Sen. Jeremy Hutchinson for nonpayment of dues. /more/
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Monday night's Pomp and Circumstance open line
May 13, 2013Imboden high school graduation is uneventful after flap over gay speaker. /more/
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The gold still rules in the Arkansas legislature
May 9, 2013I try to get excited about the 2014 constitutional amendment proposal forged by the Regnat Populist ethics reform group and the legislature. It's hard. /more/
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Football Hogs in transition mode
May 9, 2013There isn't any reason to read tea leaves with searing scrutiny when there's a minor mass exodus of football players after spring practice ends, right? /more/
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Monday morning report: 'SWATting,' raw milk, guns, Huckabee and more
May 6, 2013Items of interest this Monday morning from all over: * SWATTING ARRIVES IN LITTLE ROCK: Channel 4 reports that the "SWATting" phenomenon — making false 911 reports to draw SWAT teams to home and businesses — was reported recently at a home on Pebble Beach in West Little Rock. /more/
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Feel like praying? Send Huck some bucks
May 2, 2013I joked yesterday about how Mike Huckabee ties a commercial pitch to just about every breaking news event, often soliciting Huck PAC contributions tailored to the latest Fox slant on President Obama. /more/
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The mid-week line: Bomber sentenced, politics, George Jones
May 1, 2013The line is open. Final thoughts: * PERENNIAL CAMPAIGNER: Former state Rep. Bobby Tullis has talked about entering many a political race and even entered some since his days in the legislature. Now it's U.S. Senate. /more/
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Against all odds, Obamacare prevailed in Arkansas
April 25, 2013So backward-looking was the Arkansas legislature all winter that you wanted to search the rest of the paper every day for the latest news on the hookworm epidemic and yesterday's lynchings, but then it did something truly progressive. /more/
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Looking ahead after Arkansas Red-White game
April 25, 2013Putting suitable stock in a spring scrimmage is difficult, but if Arkansas's annual Red-White game has evidentiary value months from now, there are roughly three areas where the program's new image will be manifest. /more/
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Houses of worship in Arkansas deal with lifted gun ban
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Re: Best of Arkansas 2012
Where is the 2013 Ballot???
- on May 24, 2013
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Re: Sister who opposed Faubus dies
What Orval Faubus did in 1957 was not a governor gone all mavericky. He was…
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Re: Sister who opposed Faubus dies
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