Favorite

Inconsequential News Quiz: Poop Dogg Edition 

Play at home, while accepting the horrible fact that the "Beat the Boss" phone in item three is a real thing.

click to enlarge thebigpic1-1-8d7451110650097b.jpg

1) Former Gov. Mike Huckabee was recently mocked unmercifully online for his ultimately unsuccessful attempt to start a Twitter beef with rapper Snoop Dogg over a music video in which Snoop "shoots" a fake gun at a Donald Trump clown. Which of the following was included in Huckabee's Tweet?

A) Called him "Poop Dogg."

B) Thrilled the young folks with a reference to the 2000 Baha Men hit "Who Let the Dogs Out?"

C) Called Snoop Dogg and rapper Bow Wow "bad dogs."

D) All of the above.

2) In early March, a University of Central Arkansas student pulled over in Conway on suspicion of driving under the influence proved his sobriety to officers in a surprising way. What did he do?

A) Deftly juggled three wooden clubs, including balancing one briefly on his nose while continuing to juggle the others.

B) Quickly wrote a plan that allows Republicans to repeal Obamacare, cover more Americans, and drive premium costs lower, with no penalty for people who refuse to buy coverage. He was immediately arrested for being an interdimensional space warlock.

C) Drank an entire fifth of vodka without taking a breath.

D) He was drunk, but when he showed them his current student loan balance, they took pity on him and let him go.

3) During a recent speech to the Little Rock Rotary Club, a comment by Arkansas Department of Correction Director Wendy Kelley reportedly drew nervous laughter before the assembled Rotarians realized she wasn't kidding. What did Kelley say?

A) That they'd cut food costs dramatically by feeding inmates a straight diet of sawdust.

B) Kelley asked them to witness one of the eight lethal injections scheduled for April, because state law requires that at least six people witness an execution and the prison is having trouble finding volunteers.

C) That the prison system's escapee-pursuing bloodhounds have been replaced by former truffle-hunting miniature pigs.

D) That she had personally tested ADC security by smuggling in a "Beat the Boss" phone — the cell phone specifically designed to be smuggled into prisons in a person's butt.

4) Local blogger Russ Racop recently asked a Little Rock Police Department spokesman why LRPD Chief Kenton Buckner wasn't issued a ticket after a March 2 incident in which Buckner rear-ended a car at Markham and Spring streets. What was the spokesman's explanation for why Buckner didn't get a ticket?

A) Buckner had deftly juggled three wooden clubs.

B) It is departmental policy that police officers aren't issued tickets after traffic accidents.

C) Both officers who responded to the accident had ... like ... used all their tickets mopping up a particularly nasty coffee spill on the front seat of their cruiser. Or something.

D) Buckner and the officer on scene bonded over their shared love of "Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach."

5) The Downtown Little Rock Partnership recently announced a major development for Main Street. What was it?

A) An artisan bologna and saltine cracker bar.

B) The return of Mr. Cool Men's Wear (now with 40 percent more pleather hot pants).

C) Refurbishment of the historic Cave's Jewelers clock at Capitol Avenue and Main Street.

D) A fighting robot arena for the Little Rock Technology Park.

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Inquizator: Holt Condren

    Holt Condren is an explorer and entrepreneur based in Maumelle, the founder of Ink Custom Tees and the author of "Surf the Woods: The Ordinary Man's Trail Map to the Extraordinary Life." He's also featured in a new documentary, "Finding Noah," which follows a team of archeologists and theologians to Mount Ararat, in Turkey, on a search for Noah's Ark. The film will premiere with a multicity one-night-only screening at 7 p.m. Oct. 8.
    • Oct 1, 2015
  • The devil is in the details at the Arkansas state Capitol

    The proposed Ten Commandments monument vs. the Satanic Temple's proposed Baphomet statue.
    • Aug 17, 2016

Most Shared

  • Executionpalooza

    Appearances count. I was struck by a single sentence over the weekend in a full page of coverage in The New York Times devoted to the killing spree in Arkansas, beginning with a front-page account of the recent flurry of legal filings on pending executions and continuing inside with an interview with Damien Echols, the former death row inmate.
  • Art bull

    "God, I hate art," my late friend The Doctor used to say.
  • Not justice

    The strongest, most enduring calls for the death penalty come from those who feel deeply the moral righteousness of "eye-for-an-eye" justice, or retribution. From the depths of pain and the heights of moral offense comes the cry, "The suffering you cause is the suffering you shall receive!" From the true moral insight that punishment should fit the crime, cool logic concludes, "Killers should be killed." Yet I say: retribution yes; death penalty no.
  • Judge Griffen writes about morality, Christian values and executions

    Pulaski County Circuit Judge Wendell Griffen, who blogs at Justice is a verb!, sends along a new post this morning.
  • The Ledell Lee execution thread

    Arkansas Times contributor Jacob Rosenberg is at the Cummins Unit in Grady filing dispatches tonight in advance of the expected execution of Ledell Lee, who was sentenced to death for the Feb. 9, 1993, murder of Debra Reese, 26, who was beaten to death in the bedroom of her home in Jacksonville.

Visit Arkansas

Haralson, Smith named to Arkansas Tourism Hall of Fame

Haralson, Smith named to Arkansas Tourism Hall of Fame

Chuck Haralson and Ken Smith were inducted into the Arkansas Tourism Hall of Fame during the 43rd annual Governor’s Conference on Tourism

Event Calendar

« »

April

S M T W T F S
  1
2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30  

Most Recent Comments

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation