Favorite

Inconsequential News Quiz: Quiet riot edition 

thebigpicture1-2.jpg

1) A veterinarian in Mountain Home had to work quickly recently to save the life of Benno, a 4-year-old Belgian Malinois, who had been rushed to his office after eating something that didn't agree with his tummy. What did Benno eat?

A) Kim Kardashian.

B) Taco Bell Diablo Loco burrito, washed down with Bud Light Lime n' Clamato.

C) Souls of the damned.

D) An entire box of live, high-caliber rifle ammunition.

2) According to a list supplied by Benno's owner to the Baxter Bulletin, what else has Benno eaten?

A) A television remote control.

B) A travel-size bottle of hand lotion.

C) Broken glass.

D) All of the above, plus stuffed animals, coins, Styrofoam peanuts, cheese wrappers, rocks, wax paper, aluminum foil, shirts, socks, underwear, a brassiere, tennis shoes, a length of rope, nylon straps, plastic weed trimmer string, a gasoline-soaked lawnmower air filter, blankets, marbles, plastic bags, quilt batting, straight pins, plastic soda bottles, magnets, bottle lids, a loaf of bread with the wrapper still on, a hairbrush, Lego blocks, wooden baseboards and a section of drywall.

3) Administrators at Russellville High School were outraged recently when the school yearbooks came out. What was the issue?

A) Teacher photos replaced with team photos of the 1996 Utah Jazz.

B) The Chemistry Club posed with an 11-pound bag of the blue supermeth from "Breaking Bad."

C) The inspirational quotes under the photos of some seniors included a white student who said, "I was born a poor, black child," and another paired with the advice: "When the Red River flows, take the dirt road home."

D) The vice principal's name is not, in fact, Dick Sasole.

thebigpicture1-3.jpg

4) The Little Rock Police Department recently got approval from the City Board to make a purchase it says will help keep the streets of Little Rock safer, but which has been criticized by some. What do the police want to buy?

A) 320-mm rail-mounted howitzer, in case Cabot gets cocky.

B) Enough riot gear to outfit 530-plus officers, even though there hasn't been a full-fledged riot in Little Rock in living memory.

C) Robocop, 10 Ghostbusters proton packs and one of the Godzilla-fighting robots from "Pacific Rim."

D) 50 acres near the airport, where the plan is to break ground this summer on the LRPD's new Ministry of Love Thinkpol Retraining Center for Non-Cooperatives.

5) A man in Jonesboro was recently charged with indecent exposure after, police say, he allegedly exposed his penis to two people, including a 9-year-old girl. What do police say was his explanation for why he allegedly had his junk out?

A) Needed to measure something and didn't have access to a ruler.

B) Saw a dog peeing, which made him need to pee.

C) Testing to see which way the wind was blowing using the "lick it and stick it in the air" method.

D) He had misread a Craigslist ad seeking a talented pianist.

ANSWERS: D, D, C, B, B

Favorite

From the ArkTimes store

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Inquizator: Holt Condren

    Holt Condren is an explorer and entrepreneur based in Maumelle, the founder of Ink Custom Tees and the author of "Surf the Woods: The Ordinary Man's Trail Map to the Extraordinary Life." He's also featured in a new documentary, "Finding Noah," which follows a team of archeologists and theologians to Mount Ararat, in Turkey, on a search for Noah's Ark. The film will premiere with a multicity one-night-only screening at 7 p.m. Oct. 8.
    • Oct 1, 2015
  • The devil is in the details at the Arkansas state Capitol

    The proposed Ten Commandments monument vs. the Satanic Temple's proposed Baphomet statue.
    • Aug 17, 2016

Most Shared

Visit Arkansas

Brant Collins named Group Travel Manager for Arkansas Department of Parks and Tourism

Brant Collins named Group Travel Manager for Arkansas Department of Parks and Tourism

Collins to work toward increasing visitation to Arkansas by groups and promoting the state's appeal

Event Calendar

« »

March

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31  

Most Recent Comments

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation