Favorite

Inconsequential News Quiz: The God hates Canadian bacon edition 

Play at home.

1. This week, the ACLU of Arkansas filed suit over a police brutality case in Dover in which a mother and son were repeatedly tased and beaten by three officers in September 2011. What was the infraction that first caused an officer to become "suspicious" of the pair?

A) The kid was eating a donut and clearly didn't bring enough for everybody.

B) The mother was wearing white shoes after Labor Day.

C) The son gave the officer a friendly wave while out walking the family dog.

D) The officer thought he recognized the mother as a villain from the local backyard wrasslin' league.

2. Two teens in Conway were reportedly robbed of their debit cards and electronics after one of them tried to hire a person online. Who were they trying to hire? A) Someone to fan them. It's July, man. B) Undocumented subcontractor to do their chores around the house. C) A prostitute, who showed up with two gun-toting friends who weren't interested in paid canoodling. D) A Republican politician.

3. After the SCOTUS ruled that provisions of the Defense of Marriage Act were unconstitutional, a pizza joint in Searcy put a passage from Leviticus up on their sign out front, along with the message "Why don't we listen?" Which passage was it? A) The one about God hating Canadian bacon. B) The one about God hating sausage. C) The one about God hating pepperoni. D) The one about God hating gay people.

4. On their Facebook page, the pizza joint defended putting up the statement, saying: A) "Our Woo Pig Kablooie Three-Meat Special may be an abomination unto the Lord Thy God, but you're gonna love it!" B) "If you were upset with this verse, remember it's God's word, and we will all stand before Him in judgment." C) "Something, something, something, hypocrisy." D) "We offer two crusts and three sauces: marinara, spicy basil, and sweet, sweet hate."

5. Photos obtained by a Fort Smith TV station that were reportedly taken inside the home of a man accused of the random killing of two neighbors with a machete show something a little weird. What do they show? A) Post it note on the fridge reading: "Remember: Don't kill people with a machete." B) Every My Little Pony ever made, mint in box. C) Your basic Satanic altar. D) Receipt for a machete and The Black Eyed Peas' latest album.

Answers: C, C, D, B, C

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Inquizator: Holt Condren

    Holt Condren is an explorer and entrepreneur based in Maumelle, the founder of Ink Custom Tees and the author of "Surf the Woods: The Ordinary Man's Trail Map to the Extraordinary Life." He's also featured in a new documentary, "Finding Noah," which follows a team of archeologists and theologians to Mount Ararat, in Turkey, on a search for Noah's Ark. The film will premiere with a multicity one-night-only screening at 7 p.m. Oct. 8.
    • Oct 1, 2015
  • The devil is in the details at the Arkansas state Capitol

    The proposed Ten Commandments monument vs. the Satanic Temple's proposed Baphomet statue.
    • Aug 17, 2016

Most Shared

Visit Arkansas

Forest bathing is the Next Big Thing

Forest bathing is the Next Big Thing

Arkansas is the perfect place to try out this new health trend. Read all about the what, why, where and how here.

Event Calendar

« »

March

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3 4
5 6 7 8 9 10 11
12 13 14 15 16 17 18
19 20 21 22 23 24 25
26 27 28 29 30 31  

Most Recent Comments

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation