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Inconsequential News Quiz: The police blotter edition 

1. A recent Arkansas Democrat-Gazette article about Pine Bluff's efforts to stamp out the fashion style in which underwear is exposed by sagging pants featured a strong candidate for the year's best headline. What was the headline?

A) " 'Plumber Cleavage' Epidemic in Jefferson Co."

B) "Saggy Pants, Seeing France Targeted"

C) "Britches Bitching Boils Over"

D) "Pine Bluff Mayor: 'Say No to Crack' "

2. The Cabot Police Department recently announced they'd busted a criminal enterprise in a quiet suburban neighborhood there. What was allegedly going on, according to the police?

A) Teacup poodle fighting.

B) Brothel. Again.

C) A pot-dealing ring that involved eight people, including three minors.

D) Smuggling under the Great Dome of Protection that covers the city.

3. Police say that a 75-year-old man from Northwest Arkansas was recently bilked of money and property by a woman who had convinced him she was a famous singer. Who was the woman allegedly impersonating?

A) Bluegrass/country artist Alison Krauss.

B) That dude who sounds like a foghorn from The Oak Ridge Boys.

C) Shaggy 2 Dope of Insane Clown Posse.

D) M.C. Hammer, with the woman having hired the actual M.C. Hammer to make the calls for $20 and two dozen scratch-off lottery tickets.

4. The sheriff of Searcy County was removed from office in early June over a 1979 misdemeanor theft conviction. What did he steal?

A) Donuts

B) Chickens

C) Baton polish

D) Joe Don Baker's accent from the 1973 classic "Walking Tall"

5. On June 3, a 16-year-old Fort Smith boy was wounded in the shoulder when his friend accidentally shot him with a handgun. What game did the two tell police they were playing at the time of the shooting?

A) "The NRA Freedom Game™"

B) "Russellville Roulette"

C) a "Zombie Game"

D) "The Instant Orifice Game"

6. A murder-for-hire plot recently came to light in Northwest Arkansas, with police saying a woman there tried to hire another woman to kill her husband. According to police, how did she suggest he should be killed?

A) Slip LSD into his drink at a bowling alley, then convince him to kill himself.

B) Smeared with liquid meth and dropped off in Rose City. Let nature take its course.

C) A cage, a bull, and a sexy cow costume.

D) Lego block on the stairs.

7. According to police, which of the following was one of the things police say the woman allegedly offered as partial payment for having her husband offed?

A) One full minute in her private "Tornado o' Bucks!" chamber.

B) A Winnebago.

C) "The Big Lebowski" on Laserdisk.

D) All you can eat pass for two at the local Western Sizzlin'

Answers: B, C, A, B, C, A, B

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