Megaguana vs. Hillcrest 

Somebody forwarded The Observer the following plea from the Hillcrest Residents Association posting board the other day. We've redacted certain details so the hapless pet owner doesn't get any calls from PETA:

"We lost a small green iguana at XXXX Lee Avenue. The situation is probably hopeless, but if you happen to spot an iguana in the area, please call Seth at XXX-XXXX."

The Observer — being a stubborn believer in the hook-handed madman who terrorizes local teen-age snoggers at Lover's Lanes, and who always checks our Coke bottles thoroughly for mummified mice in the bottom before imbibing — sincerely fears that Seth's iguana may well descend into the sewers of Hillcrest, where it can grow to enormous size. Count on a reporter to sit around wishing the other size-99W iguana-hide shoe would drop, but our bet is you won't see that sucker until it emerges as 100-feet of scales and bad attitude to terrorize the populace during Hillcrest Harvest Fest in a few years, requiring a call-out of the National Guard and possibly a visit from Godzilla and/or Mecha-Godzilla. Then again, that might not be a bad thing. Not only could downtown Little Rock use a Megaguana vs. Godzilla dust-up to clear the decks for more development (maybe solving the problem of what to do with the Broadway Bridge in the process), that's a story Yours Truly could get excited about, even with all these years between the present and our go-get-'em-tiger days. Heck, we might even stand on the corner and shout "EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!" for that. Good luck, young lizard. See you in a few years.

The Observer got another visit this week from Justin Booth, the homeless poet from Little Rock we told you about a few weeks back — the guy whose book we bought in the Rivermarket for $5 simply because he was selling it instead of asking for handouts, but which stopped us dead in our tracks within a block with the loveliness and emotional depth of the poetry contained inside.

Justin is taking part in a poetry reading at Vino's Brewpub on Seventh Street next Sunday night, starting at 7 p.m. In preparation, he'd printed out a satchel-full of copies of his chapbook. The Observer had asked for more copies the last time we saw him a few weeks back. Yesterday, he braved the hottest day of the year so far to bring some up to the Times.

When I met him in the lobby, he looked bad. Sunburnt. Bloodshot. He thanked me profusely for bringing attention to his work, then signed the four copies I bought, his hands shaking so hard the whole time that he could barely write. He said he didn't want to have a drink before coming up, but he would get one as soon as he left. He said he was working on laying out a new chapbook. He made a joke about drinking himself to death.

Soon after, we shook hands, and said our goodbyes. He hit the elevator button with my $20 in his hand and descended back to the burning noon street, awash in cheap whiskey. Godspeed, and amen. Rock and a hard place. The Devil and the deep blue sea.

In lieu of one of The Observer's faithless, heathen prayers for those who wander, here's another poem from Justin Booth's book, "Hookers, Ex-Wives and Other Lovers":


Should have died young

like James Dean,

or Jesus.

The coolest ones

die for the masses

sacrifice self for mob love,

O.D. watching

co-dependent, white pantied

cuties wrestle in the Jungle Room.

The shock value

of teen rebellion

followed by a lifetime of

anti-establishment; fistfights, and felonies,

fashionable leather jackets,

black T's, flashfire love affairs,

girls barely legal,

women shockingly mature,

tattoos and

avant-garde attitudes

on art, and literature, and fornication.


Should have died in a motorbike wreck.

Martyred Hepcat

like Jesus or Elvis.



Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

Readers also liked…

  • Every secret thing

    The Observer came into the office on Tuesday morning, not quite bright-eyed or bushy tailed thanks to Daylight Savings Time jetlag, to find our colleague Benji Hardy conked out asleep in yet another colleague's office, Benji having pulled an all-nighter to bring you, Dear Reader, this week's cover story.
    • Mar 10, 2015
  • Casting out demons: why Justin Harris got rid of kids he applied pressure to adopt

    Rep. Justin Harris blames DHS for the fallout related to his adoption of three young girls, but sources familiar with the situation contradict his story and paint a troubling picture of the adoption process and the girls' time in the Harris household.
    • Mar 12, 2015
  • Addendum

    he Observer has our regrets, just like everybody else. For example: last week, Yours Truly published a cover story on the increasingly ugly fight over Eureka Springs' Ordinance 2223, which is designed to protect a bunch of groups — including LGBTQ people — from discrimination in housing, employment, accommodations, cake buying, browsing, drinking, gut stuffery, knickknack purchasing, general cavorting, funny postcard mailing and all the other stuff one tends to get up to in the weirdest, friendliest, most magical little town in the Ozarks.
    • Apr 30, 2015

Most Shared

  • Issue 3: blank check

    Who could object to a constitutional amendment "concerning job creation, job expansion and economic development," which is the condensed title for Issue 3 for Arkansas voters on Nov. 8?
  • Little Rock police kill man downtown

    Little Rock police responding to a disturbance call near Eighth and Sherman Streets about 12:40 a.m. killed a man with a long gun, Police Chief Kenton Buckner said in an early morning meeting with reporters.
  • From the mind of Sol LeWitt: Crystal Bridges 'Loopy Doopy': A correction

    Crystal Bridges Museum of American Art is installing Sol Lewitt's 70-foot eye-crosser "Wall Drawing 880: Loopy Doopy," waves of complementary orange and green, on the outside of the Twentieth Century Gallery bridge. You can glimpse painters working on it from Eleven, the museum's restaurant, museum spokeswoman Beth Bobbitt said
  • Ted Suhl loses another bid for new trial; faces stiff sentencing recommendation

    Ted Suhl, the former operator of residential and out-patient mental health services, has lost a second bid to get a new trial on his conviction for paying bribes to influence state Human Services Department policies. Set for sentencing Thursday, Suhl faces a government request for a sentence up to almost 20 years. He argues for no more than 33 months.
  • Football and foster kids

    It took a football stadium to lay bare Republican budget hypocrisy in Arkansas.

Latest in The Observer

  • Moving

    The Observer will be moving soon. Not out of The Observatory, thank God, as we're sure it will take the wagon from the 20 Mule Team Borax box to get us away from there after 14 years of accumulation, plus a team of seasoned Aussie wildlife wranglers to herd our pair of surly wildcats into a crate. No, just out of the office we've been in at the Fortress of Employment for going on five years, which is bad enough. We're moving to the other side of the building here in a few months.
    • Oct 27, 2016
  • Playing catch-up

    What with the big, clear-the-decks Road Trip issue last week — which we're sure you stuffed immediately in your motorcar's glove box, turtle hull or catchall, for when you get a hankerin' to gallivant — The Observer has had two glorious weeks to Observe since the last time we conversed.
    • Oct 20, 2016
  • Old Gray Lady rides again

    There was a reunion of Arkansas Gazette employees last Saturday night, nearly 25 years to the day it was shut down.
    • Oct 6, 2016
  • More »

Visit Arkansas

Jodi Morris's lifelong ties to the National Park Service

Jodi Morris's lifelong ties to the National Park Service

"History is always happening" at Little Rock Central High School National Historic Site

Event Calendar

« »


2 3 4 5 6 7 8
9 10 11 12 13 14 15
16 17 18 19 20 21 22
23 24 25 26 27 28 29
30 31  

Most Viewed

Most Recent Comments


© 2016 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation