Favorite

Mike Myers goes meta 

In a bad way.

TRY AGAIN: Our reviewer hopes Myers (right, with co-star Jessica Alba) does better next time.
  • TRY AGAIN: Our reviewer hopes Myers (right, with co-star Jessica Alba) does better next time.

Ah, Mike Myers, you've broken ground yet again, but I have questions.

I love you, I really do, and I want you to remember that. You've had me quite literally crying and hurting from laughter. You've given me some memorably funny moments, helped define a generation of comedy, and even managed to get a word or two in the Oxford English Dictionary. I've stolen so much of your shtick that I probably owe you money.

Hence my confusion: Why would you make it your next goal to be the first man to turn ambivalence into a movie?

I went into “The Love Guru” wanting to love it. Ready for silliness and non sequitur, willing to embrace jokes about poop and genitals and really bad puns, not expecting an Oscar-caliber anything whatsoever. But seriously, did you read the script you wrote? Because I heard it spoken out loud, and I've got to tell you, that wasn't a Mike Myers movie. It was more like a half-assed copy of a Mike Myers movie, the sort of thing I would have watched and thought “That dude's trying really hard to be Mike Myers,” were it not for the fact that you actually are Mike Effing Myers.

Romany Malco was pretty good as the star hockey player, though. In fact, you guys play off one another beautifully, and Justin Timberlake was amusing too. But Stephen Colbert was wasted and Ben Kingsley was full of Oh Dear God No. Jessica Alba does her normal thing as the second coming of Jennifer Love Hewitt, which I don't really have a problem with, but my wife does.

It wasn't all bad, of course. You yourself were in fact the best thing about it, because you're just that funny and charming. Through all of the stupidity masquerading as silliness, you just won me over and actually had me laughing at roughly half of your jokes. But even this is a bittersweet recollection, because I think it's the first time in history that a comedian has actually risen above his own material. Think about that for a moment: You've gone meta.

I know they can't all be gems. Not everything is going to live up to “Austin Powers” or “So I Married an Axe Murderer.” It's just that I haven't heard from you for so long (I don't really count the “Shrek” movies as Mike Myers movies), and I guess my hopes were a little high. So we'll just ignore this one, and if I may be so bold, I'd like to make a few suggestions on how to move on from here:

Drop the midget jokes. It's good you're giving Verne Troyer work, but seriously, the midget jokes are played out.

Get better female leads, and write better female characters. Alba's nice to look at, but she's no Nancy Travis on screen.

Stick with the silliness and non sequitur, but dear God man, not everything should be a set-up for a punchline.

Racial humor is a tightrope, and kudos to you for trying to walk it. But it's a very small sweet spot between weak racial humor and offensive racial humor where the real laughs live, and you erred too much on the side of weakness. Think twice before trying it again.

I'm ready for more, really looking forward to seeing you play Walter Mitty. So take your licks, go have a shower, and get back on it. We'll try again next summer, OK? Mariska Hargitay.

Matthew Reed

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Matthew Reed

Readers also liked…

  • Gay diamonds

    Scenes from Rodeo in the Rock.
    • May 7, 2015
  • Not much to 'Love'

    In Judd Apatow's new Netflix original series.
    • Feb 25, 2016

Most Shared

  • Department of Arkansas Heritage archeologist resigns

    Bob Scoggin, 50, the Department of Arkansas Heritage archeologist whose job it was to review the work of agencies, including DAH and the Arkansas Highway and Transportation Department, for possible impacts on historic properties, resigned from the agency on Monday. Multiple sources say Scoggin, whom they describe as an "exemplary" employee who the week before had completed an archeological project on DAH property, was told he would be fired if he did not resign.
  • Labor department director inappropriately expensed out-of-state trips, audit finds

    Jones was "Minority Outreach Coordinator" for Hutchinson's 2014 gubernatorial campaign. The governor first named him as policy director before placing him over the labor department instead in Jan. 2015, soon after taking office.
  • Lawsuit filed against ADC officials, prison chaplain convicted of sexual assault at McPherson

    A former inmate who claims she was sexually assaulted over 70 times by former McPherson Womens' Unit chaplain Kenneth Dewitt has filed a federal lawsuit against Dewitt, several staff members at the prison, and officials with the Arkansas Department of Corrections, including former director Ray Hobbs.
  • Rapert compares Bill Clinton to Orval Faubus

    Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Conway)  was on "Capitol View" on KARK, Channel 4, this morning, and among other things that will likely inspire you to yell at your computer screen, he said he expects someone in the legislature to file a bill to do ... something about changing the name of the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport.

Latest in Movie Reviews

  • Not a princess

    'Moana' subverts the Disney 'wedding bell' formula.
    • Dec 1, 2016
  • Through a glass, grimly

    'Black Mirror' is science fiction set five minutes in the future.
    • Nov 17, 2016
  • Fear and wonder

    'Arrival' makes room for 'linguistic relativity.'
    • Nov 16, 2016
  • More »

Visit Arkansas

Arkansas remembers Pearl Harbor

Arkansas remembers Pearl Harbor

Central Arkansas venues have a full week of commemorative events planned

Event Calendar

« »

December

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
 

© 2016 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation