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Oh the ginormity 

"If even just 25 percent of elementary school students score below basic, that ought to raise a ginormous red flag."

Challis Muniz was vexed to see a made-up word like ginormous used by a member of the state Board of Education in a discussion of academic standards for the public schools. But the on-line Merriam-Webster accepts this fusion of "gigantic" and "enormous" as standard English, and defines it as "extremely large; humongous."

Ginormous is not in my old Random House. Humongous is, but it's labeled "slang."

We're all free to set our own standards for our own usage, of course. Ginormous has a way to go before it meets Challis', I think. And mine.

From the sports page:

"You think jokes about Florida fans in jorts are lame and unoriginal. Unfortunately, no one cares about your opinions because you wear jorts."

I had to check the Urban Dictionary:

"Jorts – a combination of the words 'jean' and 'shorts' used to describe the hideous attire usually sported by NASCAR aficionados and men over 40. Sometimes jorts are accessorized with a lovely cellphone belt clip and a braided leather belt, but not always. ... While at a baseball game, I noticed a plethora of adult males with no shirts on, drinking copious amounts of beer while proudly wearing jorts."

Those over-40 codgers are so unfashionable. Tell 'em to toss the jorts and get into some baggy pants that show their underwear.

The best football-player's name so far this season is from Arkansas State University:

"The Red Wolves running game did its part, too, with 236 yards, led by redshirt freshman Frankie Jackson's 101 yards on 10 carries with a touchdown along with SirGregory Thornton's 68 yards on seven carries."

"ASPCA volunteers and staff immediately prepared to rescue orphaned pets in lower Manhattan. ... Agents worked nonstop to retrieve stranded pets and reunite them with their parents."

Chips off the old block, I suppose.

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