Favorite

Pop quiz 

So let's see if you've been keeping up. How many of these names in the news can you identify correctly?

Dewayne Johnson

1.        Wrestler-actor who is called The Rock.

2.        Bounty hunter-actor who is called The Dog.

3.        Horse trainer who has the most Kentucky Derby victories.

4.        Recent NBA MVP.

Rick Perry

1.        Fool Texas governor who aspires to be Texas president.

2.        Football player nicknamed “The Refrigerator.”

3.        Defense attorney who regularly wiped the floor with Hamilton Burger.

4.        One of the “In Cold Blood” killers.

Elizabeth Dole

1.        Pineapple heiress.

2.        Ex-U.S. senator who's spouse of ex-U.S. senator.

3.        Referring to disbursement of Queen of England's salary.

“The Argentine Firecracker.”

Dick Cheney

1.        Best-known contemporary uninstitutionalized U.S. lunatic.

2.        Marksman most feared by Texas bobwhites.

3.        Model for “Nosferatu” ghoul.

4.        Only recent veep without homo offspring.

Lance Armstrong

1.        “The All-American Boy”

2.        Cycling champ with multiple cancers and juicing asterisks.

3.        Herbert W.'s boy who was the voice of “The World Tomorrow” back when nut talk-radio had some class.

4.        Circular flooring mogul.

Bernie Madoff

1.        First two names of Mayberry deputy Fife

2.        The actor Tony Curtis before he changed his name.

3.        Cadaver host of movie-version weekend beach parties.

4.        Living person of whom the largest number of people who never met him are gladdest they didn't.

Blanche Lincoln

1.        George Burns' and Gracie Allen's next-door neighbor.

2.        Favorite senator of superrich who don't need no stinking estate taxes.

3.                 Whory character in “The Golden Girls.”

4.        Tennessee Williams character who always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Gordon Brown

1.        Imbecile who ran FEMA during Katrina disaster.

2.        Baddest man in the whole damn town of Chicago.

3.        Fave police commissioner of Bruce Wayne and dorky ward.

4.        British PM who walked to the classroom cool and slow and called the English teacher “daddy-o.”

Anderson Cooper

1.        Author of the Leatherstocking Tales.

2.        “The People's Choice,” with the basset hound named Cleo.

3.        Gloria Vanderbilt's boy.

4.        His was only U.S. airliner hijacking case never solved.

Dick Morris

1.        Alter ego of Ernest T. Bass.

2.        Fool political analyst who'd rather order in and suck toes with prostitutes.

3.        Midget “Call for…” bellhop with the cigarette named after him.

4.        Late finicky catfood promoter.

Albert Pujols

1.        Cards' first-sacker tater smacker.

2.        Name popular with sports poets because it rhymes with Lou Holtz.

3.        Jerry Jones' plastic surgeon.

4.        “Fat Albert” TV show was about him.

Al Franken

1.        Entertainer whose name is Italian for “eating hot dogs outdoors.”

2.        Ring Lardner's “You Know Me, Al” written about him.

3.        May get to occupy U.S. Senate seat only after he's elected to second term.

4.        Paul Simon song “You Can Call Me Al” written about him.

Mark Sanford

1.        Laughingstock governor of South Carolina.

2.                 Second-worst recent big-time swindler.

3.        TV junk dealer who was always having “the big one.”

4.        Birth name of famous Dodger pitcher Koufax.

Abu Zubaydah

1.        Guantanamo detainee waterboarded 88 times.

2.        Guantanamo detainee waterboarded 183 times.

3.        Guantanamo detainee waterboarded until it just got to be ridiculous.

4.        Convenience store owner in “The Simpsons.”

Wolf Blitzer

1.        One of Santa's reindeer, usually mentioned eighth.

2.        Grizzled CNN loup garou.

3.        Obama advisor, named for Jack London character.

4.        Cartoon character who huffed, puffed, and blew their houses down.

 

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Bob Lancaster

  • Wretched rez

    I had some New Year's Rez(olutions) for 2016 but that ship sailed so I'm renaming them my Spring Rez or my All-Occasion Whatevers and sending them along.
    • May 26, 2016
  • Nod to Bob

    A look back at the weird and wonderful world of Bob Lancaster.
    • Mar 21, 2013
  • On black history

    If you're going to devote an entire month to appreciating the history of a color, it might as well be the color black.
    • Feb 14, 2013
  • More »

Most Shared

  • World leaders set to meet in Little Rock on resource access and sustainable development

    Next week a series of meetings on the use of technology to tackle global problems will be held in Little Rock by Club de Madrid — a coalition of more than 100 former democratic former presidents and prime ministers from around the world — and the P80 Group, a coalition of large public pension and sovereign wealth funds founded by Prince Charles to combat climate change. The conference will discuss deploying existing technologies to increase access to food, water, energy, clean environment, and medical care.
  • Tomb to table: a Christmas feast offered by the residents of Mount Holly and other folk

    Plus, recipes from the Times staff.
  • Rapert compares Bill Clinton to Orval Faubus

    Sen. Jason Rapert (R-Conway)  was on "Capitol View" on KARK, Channel 4, this morning, and among other things that will likely inspire you to yell at your computer screen, he said he expects someone in the legislature to file a bill to do ... something about changing the name of the Bill and Hillary Clinton National Airport.
  • Fake news

    So fed up was young Edgar Welch of Salisbury, N.C., that Hillary Clinton was getting away with running a child-sex ring that he grabbed a couple of guns last Sunday, drove 360 miles to the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington, D.C., where Clinton was supposed to be holding the kids as sex slaves, and fired his AR-15 into the floor to clear the joint of pizza cravers and conduct his own investigation of the pedophilia syndicate of the former first lady, U.S. senator and secretary of state.
  • Reality TV prez

    There is almost nothing real about "reality TV." All but the dullest viewers understand that the dramatic twists and turns on shows like "The Bachelor" or "Celebrity Apprentice" are scripted in advance. More or less like professional wrestling, Donald Trump's previous claim to fame.

Latest in Bob Lancaster

  • Lancaster retires

    Bob Lancaster, one of the Arkansas Times longest and most valued contributors, retired from writing his column last week. We’ll miss his his contributions mightily. Look out, in the weeks to come, for a look back at some of his greatest hits. In the meantime, here's a good place to start.

    • Feb 21, 2013
  • On black history

    If you're going to devote an entire month to appreciating the history of a color, it might as well be the color black.
    • Feb 14, 2013
  • Making it through

    Made it through another January, thank the Lord.
    • Feb 6, 2013
  • More »

Visit Arkansas

View Trumpeter Swans in Heber Springs

View Trumpeter Swans in Heber Springs

Magness Lake, in Heber Springs, is a magnet for swans

Event Calendar

« »

December

S M T W T F S
  1 2 3
4 5 6 7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 15 16 17
18 19 20 21 22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31

Most Viewed

  • Reality TV prez

    There is almost nothing real about "reality TV." All but the dullest viewers understand that the dramatic twists and turns on shows like "The Bachelor" or "Celebrity Apprentice" are scripted in advance. More or less like professional wrestling, Donald Trump's previous claim to fame.
  • Fake news

    So fed up was young Edgar Welch of Salisbury, N.C., that Hillary Clinton was getting away with running a child-sex ring that he grabbed a couple of guns last Sunday, drove 360 miles to the Comet Ping Pong pizzeria in Washington, D.C., where Clinton was supposed to be holding the kids as sex slaves, and fired his AR-15 into the floor to clear the joint of pizza cravers and conduct his own investigation of the pedophilia syndicate of the former first lady, U.S. senator and secretary of state.
  • Stay the course

    I am frustrated and angry with those who claim the only chance of future success is for the Democratic Party, especially in the South and Midwest, to abandon speaking directly to women and people of color and the LGBT community and instead focus on the economy and other "more comfortable" topics in order to win back some of the center.

Most Recent Comments

  • Re: Arkansas Democrats' rocky road forward

    • Ozark,

      What are the Arkansans marching and rallying about? Is this an anti-Trump rally?

    • on December 8, 2016
  • Re: Reality TV prez

    • He won't clean up his act. He won't even try. He's clueless that his style…

    • on December 8, 2016
  • Re: Forget identity politics

    • It is, of course, completely false that Hillary Clinton didn't campaign in black communities. Also…

    • on December 8, 2016
 

© 2016 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation