"History is always happening" at Little Rock Central High School National Historic Site
Turkey day is coming up, which means the cable channels have left the keys with the lowliest intern, told him not to touch anything, and scheduled mind-numbing marathons of audience faves. Here, in no particular order, is what's playing on some of the popular channels during their Thanksgiving view-a-thons.
SPIKE TV: 9 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Documentary-style show about great gang wars through time, from the Bloods and the Crips to the Hatfields and McCoys.
DISCOVERY CHANNEL: 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Jaime Hynemann and Adam Savage use science to separate truth from myth in urban legends.
BRAVO: 10 a.m - 6 p.m
Millionaire Matchmaker marathon
Matchmaker-to-the-stars Patti Stanger helps lovelorn Master of the Universe-types and various over-pumped golddiggers feel the sting of cupid's arrow. Don't forget that prenup!
TLC: 6 a.m. - midnight
Cake Boss marathon
Pastry artist Buddy Valastro and his team take cakes waaaaay beyond that bitchin' sheet cake with the dinosaur you had for your sixth birthday party.
SYFY: 8 a.m - 3 a.m. (Friday)
James Bond marathon
Watch 007 shoot, screw and quip his way through his myriad incarnations, from Connery to Craig.
LIFETIME: 8 a.m. - midnight
Will and Grace marathon
A gay dude and a redhead live in a trendy place, or something like that. I'm just guessing here, because the only thing I know about this show is that I hate it.
TRU TV: 6 a.m. - 2 a.m. (Friday)
World's Dumbest Criminals marathon
Surveillance footage of criminals doing stupid stuff on their way to the hoosegow, accompanied by a chorus of B-list commentators.
E!: 10 a.m. - 8 p.m.
Keeping up with the Kardashians marathon
The supernaturally beautiful clan (and man-handed Amazonian Khloe) spend money like water while looking fabulous.
A&E: 8 a.m. - midnight
The First 48 marathon
Real-life detectives track murderers in this rare behind-the-curtain look at the world of homicide investigation.
AMC: 10:30 a.m. - midnight
The Godfather marathon
Wisely leaving "Godfather III" in the vaults, AMC makes an offer we can't refuse in this marathon screening of parts I and II.
BBC AMERICA: 8 a.m. - 7 p.m.
Star Trek: The Next Generation marathon
n Seventy-five years after the original "Star Trek" series, Enterprise captain Jean Luc Picard and his crew surf the universe, trying to find all Captain Kirk's bi-species offspring.
FX: 7 a.m. - midnight
Kung Fu Panda marathon
Jack Black stars in this animated romp as a panda who yearns to do kung fu.
THE HISTORY CHANNEL: 7 a.m. - midnight
Ancient Aliens marathon
Here, in a startling addition to the work of historians Doris Kearns Goodwin and John Hope Franklin, the "History" Channel gins up some dubious bullshit about aliens.
Congratulations Tara, beautifully written!