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Words, July 9 

Canon to right of them, canon to left of them:

“The state commission that disciplines judges voted unanimously Friday to recommend that Circuit Judge Hy N. Mitey be removed from the bench. ‘The commission found on several instances that he violated [Judicial] Cannons … at least 16,' the commission's executive director said.”

(Isn't there a song that goes “16 cannons … make a lovely light”?)

We may need some sort of cannon control, though I doubt the NRA would allow it. Just a couple of weeks ago, I quoted from a movie review: “In any other film … Will Smith would have entered the cannon of black actors who died valiantly so their white co-stars would have someone to fight for in memory.”

Ramp me up, Scotty (but please don't gun me down):

Ramping up and gunning down continue to run unchecked through the newspaper. Nobody “steps up,” “speeds up,” or “increases” anymore; everything goes on the ramp. “Pakistan ramped up its campaign against Taliban leader Baitullah Mehsud on Sunday …” “The leaders also ramped up claims that the opposition was being aided by the United States and other perceived foes of Iran.”

Though violence continues to ramp up, nobody gets shot anymore. “A high school coach who helped launch several professional football careers was gunned down by a former player Wednesday … M*** B***** unloaded several rounds into coach E* T*****.”

He not only gunned him down, he unloaded several rounds into him. If he'd had more ammo, he'd have filled him full of holes, I'll bet. Given him a bad case of lead poisoning. Smoked him.

Evidently, the more primitive countries haven't caught on to the new usage yet. “A Taliban firing squad killed a young couple in southwestern Afghanistan who had tried to escape, shooting them with AK-47s in front of a crowd … Riflemen in the remote district of Khash Rod shot them Monday.”

Just shot, that's all they were? It's not only brutal, it's unfashionable too.

 

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