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I seem to have misplaced it, but for years I saved a copy of a 1992 issue of the Weekly World News with “Aliens Endorse Clinton” on the cover. The article included a photo of an alien shaking hands with the future president. These were not the kind of aliens who come from Latin America, so it was a pretty big political story, and only the Weekly World News had it.
The News would publish many scoops before it folded this month. A Washington Post eulogy recalled “Dead Rock Stars Return On Ghost Plane,” “Elvis Tomb Is Empty,” and “Bat Child Found In Cave.” (The adventures of the half-human, half-bat creature familiarly known as “Bat Boy” would appear in the newspaper periodically.)
I didn't buy the News often, but I always looked at the headlines while waiting to check out at the supermarket. It'll be missed. Other publications may pick up some of the slack, though. I'm thinking of a recent headline in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette: “Nursing-home cat harbinger of death.” The subhead maintained the same high standard: “Staff members trust feline's foresight.” All nicely done, and the writer had to deal with an element of truth in the subject matter too. The World News never imposed such a handicap on its staff.
Apparently there really is a nursing-home cat — named Oscar — that makes a habit of lying in bed with ailing patients. These patients die within a few hours, according to nursing home employees, who say that a benevolent Oscar is providing companionship for people he knows to be terminally ill. Personally, I wonder if the explanation mightn't be more sinister. We know that a cat will take a baby's breath away, and some nursing home patients are just as helpless.
But whatever Oscar's motives, the headline was prize-worthy. Work “Harry Potter” in and you've got a book title.
A magazine article on alleged prison slang said that convicts call a lethal injection “a doctorate in applied chemistry.” A spokesman for the Arkansas Department of Correction says no. Maybe our convicts just aren't as witty as others.
You reap what you sow, the seeds were planted when the Max Brantley's of LR,…
Diane, as noted above, this is a *column* not a news piece. So yes, it's…
It's just amazing being told by a college professor that an editorial column is, um,…