Arkansas Blog

It worked for me in the 40's!

James Dobson and his kind scare the bejeesus out of me. Yeah let's beat the children some more...send em to Jesus camp and beeeaaat em into righteousness! If that don't straighten em out we'll add a little torture to the equation. All Godly like, of course.

I'll take my chances with Satan any day rather than listen to these devils in God's clothing. There ain't nothing right about torturing, killing and beating in the name of God.

I am the least violent person I know (pat pat pat on my own back), and I have a lot of examples of things that happened in my childhood that semi-sorta crushed my little soul.

I got lots of whippings at home and at school. I was, to put it politely, a handful. Most of the teachers who were whacking my arse also appeared to love me dearly. I must have required a "correction" now and then. Trust me...I was a handful.

The only whippings I remember that upset me then are the ones that still upset me today, if I think about it. It was the few times I was innocent and didn't deserve a whipping at home or a paddling at school. I can think of 2 instances my old Ma was wrong and only 1 instance when I didn't fully deserve the paddling I got at school. OK....we all make mistakes, those 3 whippings didn't ruin my life. At the time I thought....these adults just got it wrong, we all make mistakes.

So, being the dinosaur that I am, I can't understand how you can conduct a class if you can't put a good paddling on a boy like me who is a handful. Even not being a authoritarian, I see things at my kids schools that should be nipped in the bud. And there is no greater nipper than to be told to bend over and grab your ankles. It's ugly, but some of life is ugly.

In 20 years of being the parent of 2 girls, I have whipped each of them exactly once. Both times when they were about 2 and 1/2 and decided to throw an endless fit and hit their mother, as often happens during the Terrible Twos. I was a lot louder than I was at inflicting pain, but it got their attention and never had to be repeated. Both times I had to go lay down....whipping them made me sick to my stomach. Poor me, huh?

It may sound sexist and it may be sexist, but I think if I had had 2 boys instead of girls, I would have worn my arms out jerking off my belt and chasing them around the house. Who knows....I only have the experience of my own childhood to go by.

I always think violence should be the last option, but someone said raising a child is the same as taming a wild animal. I know that was the case with me. I just get mad at myself at times for being so tame. Spare the rod and spoil the male child I say. Now I have to go lay down...feel a little ill.

I try to avoid the spanking wars. It is like the mommy wars you will never change the mind of the other side.
At one point I was a Dobson lovin', Ezzo following fundi and spanked my child. It never felt right AND it never worked. I was raising my child "God's Way" so I kept at it until, well I realized they were full of shit.
I'm glad I got over it and my son has survived to be a pretty decent teen, but even at my worst I NEVER would have allowed another adult to lay a hand on my child.
Never.
Espically some yahoo from the school district that thinks it is God Almighty already.
Of course now I think that physical violence is one of the most disrespectful acts you can commit against your child.
But that is a post for another day...

It's interesting to note the map of poverty in U.S.A. It can be found at the NY Times political map website:
http://tinyurl.com/jeysn
On the R side are varibles you an choose. Select POVERTY RATE.
Alabama, Ark, Kentucky, Louisanna,
Miss, New Mex, Tex, W. Virginia are the leading poverty states.

NY Times needs to update the map.
Shows Ark Gov's race a "toss up" based upon Aug poll.

Strange corelation with the states that encourage beating children.
_

I don't really want to tell any parent how to raise thier child, but spanking was never an option for me.
My children attended a number of schools, and in every case I wrote a note to be included in their files that they were never to be hit, NEVER.
And, by the way, I am a former teacher who never allowed anyone else's child to be hit, either.
It's just wrong.

It seems to me that if you spank, you teach your child that it's OK to resort to violence if you don't get your way, and that the strongest gets to force their will on others.

It would seem especially bad for boys, because in their adulthood they are more likely to be stronger than women and children, so are more likely to be abusive.

In fact, I have seen some children that became WORSE when spanked. Sitting them down and explaining at length (could be called "lecturing") is far more painful for them and has more of an effect.

There are also those that will do things to deliberately be spanked, because they want the attention.