Arkansas Blog

Attorneys claim under the current ordinance, even Wal-Mart would be a sexually oriented business because they sell condoms and push up bras.

I wonder if Barbara Graves realizes she's in the porn bidness??!!

"In March, the city amended their ordinance to include any item designed for sexual gratification."

Sounds like they could use a Lorena Bobbitt in Russellville. (I love that name in this context.)

Does that old boy selling them punkins know he's got a whole trailer full of sex toys? Any old farm boy knows with a little hot sun, a pin knife and a warm pumpkin, you got an orange date that won't ever say no!

I really think adults have the right to jam anything they want into their bodies and who the hell is against sexual gratification if they can get some? I'm not talking about Republicans and Congressional Pages, I'm talking about an adult who might be living alone and feeling a little frisky. So what if they walk into the Electric Moo and buy a little package of smiles on their way home from work to their lonely dark house?

If'n a woman has an electric hobby, what business is it of mine? If she wants to date Buzz every night, what business is it of mine? We have an Electric Moo here in Fort Baptist and if they sell them vibrating things I can't tell driving by. They don't have them hanging in the windows. You can't hear a thing with your car windows down. So what the heck?

A woman with battery operated buddy is a woman that won't be lurking around playgrounds or the Congressional Page office. She'll do her thing, read a little Cosmo and then go to sleep during Leno with a big smile on her face and not a living soul on earth will be in danger that gal will be humping their leg at the mall.

The do-gooders can't have it both ways. You can't make prostitution illegal and then lock up the buzzy sex toys too! Next thing ya know women will be putting their heavy towels on one side of the washers at the Laundromat and riding them suckers thru the spin cycle.

Men will purposely bend the blade on their mower and stand frozen in their front yard with the handle shoved in their crotch. My lord.....don't ask me know I know these things, I just know. If you'll keep your Bible out of the sex shops, I'll be they'll keep their vibrators out of your church. And let us pray the cops in Russellville have something more important to do than sniff out vibrators. If there's that little crime there, why even have a police force.

And pox on that pumpkin guy....I hate him all the way from Fort Baptist!

Doigotta,

How do they classify ribbed condoms?

Nice to see that police forces in Arkansas are ever vigilent in protecting us from.....from....sexual gratification.
Rolling my eyes and shaking my head.

Down at the Spastic Blender in our neck of the woods, you can get the inflatable Tammy Faye doll with all the proper oily orifices and action traction to get you in the gospel mood. It's our "Between the SHeets" speical.
Don't forget our Hog condoms with the Go Hogs logo and put a little Woo Pig Sooie into your love life. You'll be living high on the hog while you're making bacon!!
Come one, come all, and come on down to the Spastic Blender for your special needs. Check out our matching his and hers nocturnal emission control devices and turbo-charged Spank the Monkey Magic Gloves today.
Granny Grabbers are two for one for a short time only.
Remember: Play time is not just for the day time.

I suspect Jim Bailey has pounded the pumpkin more than he's letting on, DBI. I'm always suspicious of moral judgements coming from guys whose most intimate sexual relationship probably took place on a stump in a pasture.

Will it matter 28 days from now?

"Will it matter 28 days from now?"
Posted by: RLR

Will you matter 28 days from now.

Dammit, boys!! It's starting to sound like Armageddon here!

Oops. My bad!

I shouldn't have said Armageddon. In keeping in line with this section's topic, I should've wrote "the Second Coming."

...We're pretty conservative here and I think the City Council reflected the wishes of the majority of citizens when they beefed up the amendment in March."

And this sexually repressed, self-righteous, holier-than-thou, straight-out-of-the-Dark Ages attitude is why the Republican/'conservative' party is home to so many of the nation's sexually twisted...Foley for example. It's pretty much the same crew who stripped those young nubile witches on the pretense they were looking for signs of Satan...or who beat women 'cause they were responsible for all those heathen feelings going on in men's crotches.

My god, Bush et al have tried to place 'abstinence' education on the same scientific level as real sex/health education. They've played religious big brother with the handing out of condoms in third world countries ravaged with AIDS. And in Arkansas some backward, sexually repressed city council thinks it's OK to outlaw 'items' designed for sexual gratification...you really can't make this crap up.

My favorite sex shop is the one just off the interstate in Clarksville. Apparently everyone thought they were building a fast-food restaurant until they erected that enormous "Adult XXX" sign viewable from a mile away.

It's now one of the highest-grossing stores in town.

Will somebody please tip off the Daily Show?

"...you really can't make this crap up."

Watch for this story in places like News of the Weird. It's a giant step forward for good ol'' progressive Arkansas.

Someone should write a "This I believe" essay about how someday (maybe) people will realize it's in their best interest to mind their own beeswax.

Please, someone get a calendar and check and see what year this is. Gee, it says 2006. It's hard to believe, isn't it? I would have thought we were still in the Victorian Era.

My God, don't we have more things to worry about than whether or not vibrators are being sold over or behind some counter? Is this more important than attempting to stop the psychopathic killing of our children in schoolhouses across the land? Is this more important than preventing a crazed madman in Korea from making more nuclear bombs? Is this more important that getting our troops out of the Middle East before another 2700 of our children are killed in an unjust war that is being fought under the pretenses of a lie?

Need I go on any more? This is sick stuff, to think that the city of Russellville has no more to worry about than this.

May God help us!!!!

Uh . . .
Doc, with Ms. Lorena around, there would be no need for condoms, ribbed or otherwise. For those with a short memory, the lady performed a little surgery and then threw the offending, uh, member out -- out the car window, if memory serves.
My first reaction when I read that story years ago? Had to be an urban legend. There couldn't possibly be a woman named Bobbitt who performed an improptu penisectomy.
Anywho . . . my "you first" suggestion to the Russellville city fathers (there is an alternative still performed in parts of the world if there are any city mothers) stands.
More than 'nuff said?

Last I heard, the Electric Moo was also what used to be called a "head shop" in the 70s. you know, for your basic drug paraphernalia. A few years ago, they used to sell something called salvia that was a legal pot-like substance.

I dont know what they have now and I really don't care. I didnt see any mention of those items on the news last night, though.

i live in Clarksville and am happy to report that the initial to-do and carryin' on over the XXX Center seem to have died down. one very minor correction, though - they didn't build their business, they bought an existing building there right on the interstate, but it's true that they didn't tell anyone what they were putting in the building in advance.
They didn't even tell the checkout ladies at the KFC next door what they were doing. Now I know that for a fact. That's good fact checking if you ask me.

the business is owned by some outfit in Florida which evidently did thorough research and knew exactly what they could get away with here, and then they did it.

It doesnt bother me - I dont go there, and they dont show up at my house - but I do hate that it's right there on the interstate.

I don't want people to think of Clarksville as "that place wtih the big old sex shop" or whatever.

I'm not sure if its one of the highest-grossing stores in town or not.

i dont think the russellville city fathers are concerned so much wtih the Electric Moo selling electric sex toys as they are with trying to prevent an XXX center from opening up there too.

I'm just glad the furor died down here. I also heard that their business was about 50% local and 50% interstate traffic. My son has been there but I haven't. It doesnt bother me and I don't bother it, and in my humble opinion its just too bad more people can't take that notion too.

And on another subject here, i would say that yes, in 28 days, it will STILL matter -- to the pumpkin. ;)
oh one more thing - DBI, Im lookin' to hire someone to mow my new yard, are you interested? I wont look out the winders while you're out there -- uh -- customizing! the lawnmower. You just crack me up.

I know people in Clarksville and I trust them to be able to handle sex toys in the privacy of their bedroom. They're good people and whatever they do in bed is American. Clarksville is a fine town and just as American as you can get XXX sign on the Interstate or not.

We should all be thankful that we live in the times we do. Back in the old days our grandfathers didn't have sex shops to go to. They had to fashion some kind of contraption out in the barn to liven up the old gal. Today's modern polymers are a great improvement over the splintery old shovel handles and rusty horse shoes grandpa had to work with.

Velcro is a thousand times better than strapping something on with black electrical tape and remember in 1934 the handcuffs had NO fur, none. Girl parts last a lifetime now, but not so back in the bad old days. So unless your Amish, you should thank the XXX people in Clarksville and the Electric Moo folks in Russellville for providing sleek modern safe sex toys for those special times when the kids are safely tucked in bed and the Frisky Light is on.

You young'uns think sex lasts forever, but in truth it's like milk and after awhile it doesn't start curdling, you do. So get jiggy and be jiggy while your Frisky Light is on. You'll thank me in 20 years.