Arkansas Blog

It's the DNA off of Monica's blue dress. I AM going to be President!!!

"This patch will help you to stop smoking in your work workplace. You know it is illegal now right?

"This is the last flu shot your getting for free, next year you got to start paying for them!"

Dudes, quit yer bitchin'!

You got your press pass.

If that is a state nurse she needs a stern talking to about her obesity.

Arkansas sticks it to Huckabee!

Between the shot and Huckabee, which one is the bigger prick?

My Wife Stick me with a Bigger one Every Night

so far I vote for Holycow's caption.

re the obese nurse -- every time I drive past our local health department, at least three or four nurses heavier than the one pictured are outside by the Dr Pepper machine, smoking and eating. well maybe they quit the smoking by now, I havent been by there in a spell. But they're definitely still morbidly obese.

"Janet thinks I'm just getting my flu shot. Little does SHE know...this is really a cocktail of Viagra AND pulverized oysters. There'll be some root-tootin', good ol' country hollering to God coming from the mansion tonight!!!"

I just noticed - Huckabee is starting to look like Nixon. Cool.

I'm hoping the over sized nurse is shooting him full of Super Glue so he'll have to stay in Arkansas for a while and do his damn job.

Since I am again spending parts of my days and nights at Campo De No Fumar Hospital, I am again watching the full blown 2nd class citizen-ing of Americans. And yes, it sticks in my craw and yes I am thinking about this smoking BS more then I have lately.

There are still more fat people waddling around Campo De No Fumar Hospital, than thin people. Big fat patients, big fat hospital workers, big fat visitors...it's amazing. The CDNF ER on the last 3 visits in the past week gowned with some of the largest people on earth who can't understand why they feel so rotten, have trouble walking....can buy clothes that fit, or have a job like other people.

What can a doctor do for a 46 year old toothless tattooed woman who weighs over 350 lbs? What pill or shot will fix that? But, I state all this for the sake of argument. I'm not their daddy, I personally don't care if they eat until they explode

. It's simply not my business. I didn't spend a total of 15 hours in the ER thinking these fat bastards are eating my tax money up. I am just not wired that way.

At the same time the alleys where smokers congregate far from the hospital door have suddenly sprouted little No Loitering signs siting the city ordinance number. Maybe LRLawyer can tell us, but when did stretching your legs after a day worrying over a sick relative become loitering?

I double dog dare them to sic security on me. This isn't Iraq or Iran, I will not put up with it, I have cash and a good lawyer. Make tobacco illegal and get the state off the tobacco tax tit and I'll quit smoking. I'm not a law breaker and I'm not a 2nd class citizen no matter what the fat folks at Campo De No Fumar might think.

Oh, and these same fine folks cost us 2 visits to the ER, one 6 hours and one 8 hours of sitting on hard seats surrounded by the great unwashed before they found the giant broken bone in a 90 lb woman's leg. Maybe spending less on No Smoking and No Loitering signs and more on ER doctors with a lick of sense would be the best thing for all.

Dad gum you Huckabee! You scratched this scab! You're causing me to not pay attention to the Katherine Harris debate on my TV now! When will Kathrine Harris fly up from Florida and hold a fund raiser for Asa?

Ah. c'mon Nurse Ratched...you said I could have the...the...feelin' sleepy...feelin' like...Barack? Is that you?!

Nah...havin' a bad dream...

Everyone's caption sounds great. However, the more I look at the picture, I see someone from Madame Toussard's Famous Wax Museum putting the finishing touches on a Mike Huckabee wax figure, a little wardrobe readjustment.
He does have a certain shit-eating grin on his face that does lend some credence to Oda Mae's caption. Gonna be some racing and chasing going on at the Big Manse tonight. Hooo-rahhhh!!
One final conjecture: I do remember seeing looks like his on the face of young infants when they've just dumped a big load in their diapers.

holycow gets my vote.

"When will Kathrine Harris fly up from Florida and hold a fund raiser for Asa?"

Krazy Katherine just lost my support. Was she wearing one of her lovely, deeply slit emerald blouses, the sheer ones she wore last year showing off that pair of devil's advocates?

Last night she was on holyroller central, testifying and quoting scripture but What the Hell , she had on a ruffled, up to her neck, no- cleavage blouse and you wondered if she had a pair. She blew it. No more donations for her. I hope the holyrollers can pick up the slack. All those Cuban wannabes drooling in her charm, she likely lost everyone of them too. Horny old rightwing millionaires just waiting to chip in $50,000 to get an up-close peek, lost them too. She's the Asa of Florida, well-used by Bush and dumped.
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How about revising the olf newpaper headline that Jay Leno once made fun of that said "Flu Shots Given in Weiner?"

I'm planning for my golden years now. When Mom's gone and the kids are grown. My wife will be living at her business by then and I will be free with her checkbook in my pocket and as long as my health holds, I assume I will be able to do about anything.

So, I'm thinking maybe in a couple of years I might just get in the old Ford and drive down to Florida. I realized years ago that I can hold a strange idea longer than anyone. By the time I do this Katharine Harris will be broke and forgotten.

I figure if I get my timing right she'll be working motels near the airport and for 40 bucks I can show her my hanging chad. I know, I know...for the same money I can get my cookies a lot closer to home with a much younger whore. But....I have a little unfinished business with an old girl I almost got in the 90s who looked a lot like a young Katharine Harris, acted like her, was dumb like her too.

So by driving down to Florida and looking in the back alleys, I bet I can kill 2 birds with one 40 dollar payment. I had a little plan for Dale Evans too but she had to go and die on me. Anita Bryant is still on my list of things to do too. And where is that Jessica Hahn?

just a little prick

just a little prick...

holycow by far

Well, yes, Governor, I think we can get that tattoo off -- but, uh, why does it say "Billy Bob Forever"?

Huckabee bears arms for NRA.

No wait, Huckabee bares arm for A RN. (Opps, my mistake)

I guess you're too late, Polecat, but that's a durned good one.

At least Im not the only one who can't find the winning caption.

DBI, when I was in the hospital all four times last year, wtih a few fun-filled ER visits thrown in, I alertly made the same observation you made. There are a whole lot of morbidly obese people, not fat people, in this old world today.

when I worked in a clinic across from St Vincent's, we used to pass our time watching the morbidly obese vs. the normal/moderately overweight going into the main doors. The morbidly obese won by a landslide every time.

Most of my obese sightings were visitors, not patients. Im sure their times will come.

Im still voting for holycow if im allowed to vote. DBI, why dont you just write old katherine harris a fan letter? ;)

sorry bout the confusion.

JUST A LITTLE PRICK: Gov. Mike Huckabee gets his flu shot.

is our choice as winner.