Arkansas Blog

Is all of life just junior high over and over again? This sounds like a plan my 9th grade daughter would be making with her little group of chatty girls on myspace.com.

I liked it ever so much better when I was a kid and thought grown-ups were....well...grown up. The best and quickest way to find out that it's junior high forever is to follow politics. Were all politicians denied breast milk at birth? We're they trained to fight with their siblings on an hourly basis? And when did their Mom's tell them the world was entirely created for them?

Get them around goodies, free drinks, food, hookers and they act like a 3 year old in Toys R Us. I think maybe the answer lies in the DNA that would make someone decide they above all people should run for a public popularity contest.

One must have a big ego to run for office. You have to want that golden ring pretty badly to expose yourself and your family to public scrutiny. Then you must separate those who need their ego fed from the ones who see politics as a magic carpet ride to great riches. It's a pretty twisted system.

I am not trying to excuse us of the guilt of voting in bad people, but so many times my vote has been cast, not for the best person, but for the lesser of 2 evils. What if you chose Doctor Johnson because he didn't suck as bad as Dr. Smith? Our elections have come down to picking a mad dog that bites us the least. It's a pretty twisted system.

The current trend is to elect anyone representing your political party, no matter if they're nuts. The Baptist Church in Fort Smith keeps sending real losers to LR. All you have to do to get elected from FS is be a Republican and say you have a close, personal walk with Jesus. When the Baptist Church gets behind a candidate in FS, you can't outvote them.

Look at the people we've sent in the past, well-meaning Peggy Jeffery who can't find her way out of an elevator without help. Our current crop of Medley, Altes, and Glidewell. Greenwood always elects a Walters and some Wilkerson. No wonder we're 49th.

I don't know what we can do to improve the quality of those running for office. I'd rather be the guy sitting in a public restroom handing out hand towels and mints. And I say that without bothering to check my own qualities. Mixing politicians with lobbyist...talk about hand in glove.

We can't do much to improve the gene pool of our elected officials, but we sure as hell can do something about lobbyist. It wouldn't be hard to make rules of NO GIFTS and no meetings outside of the office, during office hours. I don't buy a set of tires over dinner at Mr. Goodyear's house.

The problem is we're counting on our elected officials to legally curb their own whorish desires for free stuff. That's like expecting your dog to use restraint around his food bowl or the wiggly butt of another dog. There is no halfway measure...ban all extracurricular contact with lobbyist or we'll have governmental misery for the rest of time.

I can't really imagine driving all the way to Maumelle to go bowling in a crowded bowling alley. And if I was the esteemed State Senator from Podunk I really can't imagine that a few lanes of spares would swing my vote. But stranger things have happened.

I used to be a real term limits advocate, but I think the limits have actually made things worse on a lot of levels. It seems the new breed of lawmaker is more and more dependent on that part time legislator salary/per diem and thus more eager to gobble up ridiculous freebies like bowling.

You want to hear real astounding lobbying stories...get around the old bulls who lobbied in the 1970's and hear their stories of women and wine. It does make bowling look like a junior high girls party.

The funny part is that some of the loudest voices who used to complain about Huckabee ethics issues used to be running this little circuit hard every night. Kind of like Newt having a girlfriend while he hammered Clinton for Monica.

But the other part of this story is that people who don't like the system need to get off their butt and run for office. Running for office is a lot of work and a pain in the neck, and if you think the system stinks please go get some filing papers. If the big church in Ft Smith runs candidates...get your church down the street to back your candidacy.

Good luck Gov Beebe...it's only going to get worse.

Strange....I belong to the one member Church of Multiple Comings. I use a unicycle to gather my flock every Sunday. So if I gave both kidneys to a dying black child, my candidacy would not be gathering much church support. But thanks for the suggestion.