Arkansas Blog

I hear (emphasis on "hear") that they got some good burgers at the Gentlemen's 70 Club.

Oh, and the buns have that nice, glistening sheen to 'em. That's what I hear anyway.

Speaking of "legal in Arkansas" and "I hear"...I hear Rep. Steve Harrelson is introducing a resolution making the state's official spelling of the possessive:
Arkansas's

I will fight to the last breath to make it:
Arkansas'

Likewise, it's the Jones' car, not the Joneses car.

I've even heard people take this to the level of the
"Jones es es" car.

My own resolution would make Doug Smith the state's official final word on these things, and I'll accept his rulings...

...unless I disagree with them.

ARK. BLOG: His ruling is the same as the resolution's and my own and Strunk and White's and that of Opal Shea my 8th grade English teacher. You form the possessive of a word ending in a silent s with an apostrophe s. Thus, Arkansas's is the Arkansas Times' style for the possessive of Arkansas. Period.

Sorry, Max, I have to disagree with you, Strunk and White, Opal Shea and Steve Harrelson. MY teacher, somewhere back there, didn't differentiate between silent and non-silent esses.
So my message to Harrelson this morning: HOW MUCH TIME DID YOU EXPEND ON THIS LITTLE RESOLUTION? GET BACK TO WORK, YOU FOOL. ESSES DON'T MATTER ONE WHIT IN THE STATE SCHEME OF THINGS. DAAMMN.

I probably pronounce it the same as you, something like "arkansauce" but not quite, but I refuse to write s's. That's too much.

Doug is right, but it's not right.

i know proper english is important to you writer types. do you have to have this type of argument while i am still dreaming of having a marvelous steak dinner finished by a buttery nipple served by a lady i have no chance of getting but a few seconds of old man's fantasy. no talk of gunner delay, no talk of proper english, lets just figure where we can locate this place in little rock. i would eat there once and my gout would hurt for a week and my wife would hurt me worse than the gout but it might be worth the experience.

I vote with Max and Opal.

It doesn't make sense to make up a new rule just to save one ens-worth of lead and paper. Or would that be en's-worth? (Sorry, is there a rule on that one?)

--Sui Generis.

Oh god! It's like the day Zsa Zsa Gabor married fake Prince Frederic von Anhalt back in 1986. Now we have the Prince Gunner & Princess Shirley show. Is there a way Sebastian County can be folded back into Crawford Country like it was prior to 1851?

Why do people who appear to distain sex spend all their time with their nose stuck in someone else's sex lives? All this because a chain XXX store opened in Fort Baptist.

I've had no interest in visiting the new store until right this very minute. If it's so bad....it has to be good and Gunner and Princess just gave it a couple of hundred thousand dollars worth of free publicity.

I'm gonna go buy the nastiest thing they sell and scare the hell out of my wife tonight. "Shirley my dear, you must like my giant throbing gunner"........oh I love to tease the wifey!

I have 2 tender teenage daughters. If anyone should be nervous about a sex toy store moving to town, it should be me. But guess what. I know seeing a sign of the Interstate that says XXX won't hurt my kids. Clarksville hasn't turned into Sluts R Us since their XXX store opened up years ago.

Must the left side of Arkansas always look so stupid, backwards and small minded? Our border with Oklahoma has been filled with sex stores, XXX movie rentals and a big strip joint.

Adult World did glory hole business 24-7 from what I've heard. And there have been very very few problems on this side of the river. I actually live closer to all that than I do the new XXX store.

And yet in all these years I've never participated in the XXX world right across the river (except a few trips to the Cheyenne Club for bachelor parties years ago).

Police records show the best customer they've ever had on that side of the OK-Ark border has not caused a seconds worth of trouble in Fort Baptist. Nothing from there has bothered my little girls.

When will Prince Gunner and Princess Shirley ever join the rest of us adults in the real world? When sex toys are outlawed, only outlaws will have sex toys! No vibrating dildo has hurt Arkansas as much as the Payday Lenders.

No rubber vagina has a monopoly like the LR liquor distributors do. No XXX tape has turned my stomach like the pictures from Abu Grebe prison did. No dick substitute spent $13,000 of our taxpayer dollars crushing hard drives!

Let Arkansas' newest power couple sever their own genitals if sex offends them. But leave your cotton-picking hands off the choices of other adults. And please quit making Fort Baptist look like the Virgin Mary.

My favorite town in America wouldn't be here if our founders hadn't got rich selling booze and whores to the soldiers stationed here. Grow up!

"It doesn't make sense to make up a new rule...
Posted by: Ecce! Spiro et Spero."

Just to belabor the point beyond all reason, I could make two arguments:

1. No new rule. Same rule for all cases. If the word ends in s, just add apostrophe, not apostrophe s.

2. Borrowing from an argument used against DBI and me last week when we protested against another new law, let me ask just how many spelling rules is the right number, beyond which no more are permitted.

OMG! You bloggers need to get out more! A buttery nipple is a drink!

Recipe:

1 oz DeKuyper® Buttershots liqueur

1/2 oz Irish cream

ARK. BLOG: It's apparently done a bit differently at the Penthouse Club.

Well, the recipe's the same-- it's just the mixing vessel that's different.

Incidentally, on the topic of the possessive of a word ending in "S", I had heard somewhere(maybe from Doug himself) that the one unforgivable exception was "Jesus"-- always made possessive with a simple apostrophe.

I was picking me up some window putty today and listening to NPR in the truck when I heard the voice of our very own Rep. Steve Harrelson explaining his bill to start typing Arkansas's instead of Arkansas' when you're in need of procession or plurelin.

Try as I might I cannot type Arkansas' natural beauty. I can't type Jesus' boots either. It just doesn't look American with an 's on the end of things that need it.

Rep. Harrelson did a fine job of 'splainin his bill and it's obvious he's one of Arkansas's brightest legislators. Can fit Jesus's into that sentence....better luck next time.

PS Next week we'll hear a butt-load about Jesus's tomb and Jesus's wife and Jesus's son. So we better work that 's vs ' thing out quick!