Arkansas Blog

Excellent, Doug. I can't believe I never really thought of it like that. It seems so obvious.

"Nobody has the right to judge somebody just because of the group he or she is in."

I don't know about that, Doug. I have the right. I have the right to judge anyone who belongs to a group that wears hoods and sheets. Or any group who wears black shirts and swastikas. Or carries banners featuring the hammer and sickle.

Yeah, I'm going to judge 'em. Just as I do with folks who belong to Eagle Forum and the GOP.

Wonderful article Doug. Hope that you will email it to all of the legislators. It would be a good lesson to remind them of.

Good point, Cato.

I have to agree with Cato . . . Remembering that we are biblically admonished to judge others in the same manner that we wish to be judged (so judge fairly and appropriately and those you judge should do the same).

It's not clear from the context whether Doug is referring to groups that someone chooses to be in, like the Klan, or groups that they don't, like being gay.

You can make assumptions and blanket judgements about people in the Klan; you can't about homosexuals.

You can make assumptions . . .about people; you can't about homosexuals. -Posted by: Crazy Horse
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But you base this on your own assumption - that the gay lifestyle is not a choice . . .

ARK. BLOG: Do you honestly believe it's a choice?

I think it is a preference that you develop over time - I don't know whether it is because of your family circumstances, your first sexual experiences or something else.

That is my honest opinion.

Don,

An honest opinion is the best kind to have.

One of mizriz mann's nephews who is now in college bravely came out of the closet a couple years ago. He tried real hard with the high school girlfriend thing, but it didn't work out for him. It felt fake and contrived, he later said.

When this child was 4, his aunt said, "he will be gay".

I do not think sexual orientation is a choice. (Are you married, Don? If so, you chose your wife over other women. But were there any men in the running?)

My point to the rhetoric is that if I were to try to put words in your mouth and have you answer, "No, it wasn't a matter of choice for me. I knew I wanted to marry/be with a woman and not a man." I would then say, so if it wasn't a choice for you, why must it be for a gay person?

I would then say, so if it wasn't a choice for you, why must it be for a gay person?-Posted by: hugh mann
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All I can base it on is my own personal experience- My first encounter was a naïve junior high experience with a good lookin' really aggressive girl which I was not prepared for (and was subsequently embarrassed by-especially since I refused to finish what she tried to start).

After that, I dismissed girls and had better experimentation episodes with other boys.

Eventually, that changed and by high school, I had made my choice. I met my eventual wife there and she has been the One and only One.

So, based on my experience, it was a choice. I cannot speak for you.

If you have always preferred other boys as far back as you can remember, I DO understand why you don't think it was a choice. That is your opinion. And it is OK to have that opinion. I just disagree and I have explained why.

Why would anyone choose to be stigmatized and victimized?

To say people choose to be gay is to say that they can un-make that choice, which in turn suggests we could round them all up, send them to therapy, and viola'! Perfect heterosexuals.

I appreciate your honesty, Don. It takes a lot of courage to post what you did. But I don't know that sexual experimentation is the same as genetically programmed sexuality.

But that's just my viewpoint. One of my best friends is gay, but I've never in my life had the slightest inclination to be anything but straight.

"All I can base it on is my own personal experience"

Exactly. That's all anyone can base it on. The figures I've seen for adolescent same-sex experimentation run as high as 80%. (Sorry, I don't have sources or links at this point.)

So I don't think experimentation on that level should count the same as adult sexual orientation.

The whole problem I have with this issue is that some people think that they have the right to decide for other people what should be a right for every person.

We're talking about basic human rights here.

The mere fact that Don made a choice only means that Don made a choice--not that everyone has the same choice to make. He is entitled to his opinion, based on his own experience, but it was only his experience, not everybody's. Science and real life are more discriminating than that.

Don's story goes against all the evidence. I am sorry, but it does. I have been in the mental health field for a long time, and by junior high, kids know where they are sexually.
Don, I really don't mean this as insulting to you, and if it actually happened as you said, I apologize. But, your story is not typical.
I have three male friends and one female friend who happen to be homosexuals.
All of them agree with me.

Don's story goes against all the evidence . . . Don, I really don't mean this as insulting to you, and if it actually happened as you said, I apologize. But, your story is not typical. -Posted by: BlueRidge
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I think what you mean is my story goes against MOST of the evidence. It can't be "ALL" since my experience counts as evidence, even if you discount it for your own personal reasons.

I too have gay and lesbian friends. But unless they raise this issue, I rarely inquire into their sexual attitudes any more than I do with my hetero friends.

I would expect your friends to agree with your position - otherwise, they would be confirming their sexual preference was a choice - and if they acknowledge their choice, they risk ostracization by the gay community. That would be a real predicament- you would feel disliked by the hetero community because you are gay - and leaders of the gay community probably wouldn't like you because you undermine their claim to have been born "that way".

Bottom line - There is still no scientific, objective proof to answer the choice question. If you are gay and you enjoy being gay, whether it is inbred or a choice doesn't matter.

I explained my opinion is based on my personal experience and I am not speaking for anyone else. I accept your differing opinion in the same manner.