Arkansas Blog

by all means don't miss the comment by poster "ronnie"

Honestly, I don't know what they mean by "porn." I wonder, Max, if you'd mind posting a few more examples, just so I can get some sort of idea.

then a great excerpt from a letter by a member of Springdale's First Baptist Church about the pornography -- <<

Er uh, check your facts there mon amigo. Tebbetts published the ENTIRE letter and no one is sure if the letter writer is from God Floyd's flock. Just a tongue in cheek assumption by Tebbetts.

ARK. BLOG: Thanks for that.

Maybe ya'll missed it. Two piece swimsuits and shorts above the knees were outlawed in Springdale about 5 years ago. Women now may not allow their skirts to be so short as to expose the ruffled bottoms of their knickers. The only lubricants sold (or allowed) here are to grease the hinges of the church doors so they will open faster from the outside. Somehow though, they seem to stick when you're trying to get out.
All hearsay. I don't know for sure. They won't let me in because I have a massive blow-up Halloween display outside my house - which means I'm a devil worshipper. It must mean something - my cat's afraid of it. He's a stray that just showed up in my garage one night. Could be he's a Baptist.

Thanks for the link Max. That Iconoclast letter was a hoot!

Wal-Mart peddles porn?

I wonder what caliber pistol this chick uses to pop a cap in her TV when a Victoria's Secret ad plays.

Maybe that is why she is in Wal-Mart so often, she has to replace her TV so often.

I suppose that she takes a paint roller to the Victoria's Secrets display window at the mall.

On further thought, I think this letter is over the top and I think this is just a made up letter to get a little blog traffic up. If you start rearranging the merchandising floor plan at Wal-Mart surely someone would come up to "help" and put a stop to it.

Thanks for the laugh, Rick. Best one of the day so far!

We all owe Jonah Tebbetts our thanks. The Iconoclast is the best thing up there since the Grapevine.

Hmmm. Not sure what this says about my frame of mind, but all I can think of when I look at the above poster is "My, Amanda, what big feet you have." BTW, who is Amanda Beard?

Gee. I compared the photo to one of my spouse when we were last in Florida. I found an easy way to tell the difference - my wife never wears a red swimsuit.

I was going to save this until it actually goes on sale, but the blonde on the cover has loosened my tongue and awakened the dead south of my belt.

Yeah things are better for me since I slammed Ma into the rest home, but guilt from the things I've put her through the last 52 years compels me to go and have my Daily Dose of Depression at her bedside. Each and every day I saunter in and try to say Hi while she gasps TAKE ME OUTSIDE TO SMOKE. It was while I was putting her pants on her that my great idea hit!

We live in a politically correct era where age discrimination is against the law and that further told me I had hit on a billion dollar idea. Because the papers are not all signed with Kimberly-Clark just yet I cannot give out details at this time. Stay tuned.

I am proud to say after many hours spent at my drafting table away from the AT blog I have perfected the first Depend Thongs for SeniorsT Yes, now your grandmother can be as stylish and sexy at the rest home as your teenage daughter at a Delta Sig party. Never again will our elderly be embarrassed during foreplay by their boxy adult diaper.

New Depend Thongs for SeniorsT takes into account our loving elderly often suffer from emaciated thighs and buttocks...our Depend Thongs for SeniorsT help give a sculptured look to tired old flesh. And those with only one side of their body functioning will thank their lucky stars for sticky tabs that make whipping off a Depend Thongs for SeniorsT easy even for Boris Yeltsin!

Oh...I'm so happy at this very late date I have finally come thru for my family! By next year I'll be rubbing shoulders with Waltons and Tysons in places you'll never go. And yes.....Wal-Mart has already pre-order 60 million cases of Depend Thongs for SeniorsT, their cashier's check is in the mail!

I plan on buying every Mexican in Rogers a new truck for Christmas 2008. I'm going to buy the Arkansas Family Council and give it to the Gay and Lesbian Victory Fund and Leadership Institute. I'm going to hire MIT to retrieve those Huckabee crushed hard drives and find out what's on them. I'm going to buy a giant 10 story 3 mile around black curtain and block the Osborn Christmas lights for the next 5 years cause I can.

I'm going to buy up all the shares of the Arkansas Democrat Gazette and force a member of NAMBLA onto their board of directors. I'm going to see that Boss Womack is fired and replaced by someone named Jose. I'm going to run Tony Alamo out of Fouke, and his counterpart Armani Ronnie out of Rogers. I'm going to rebuilt an exact replica of the Mountain Inn in Fayetteville and the Goldman Hotel in Fort Baptist. I'll have the Hutchinsons deported out of Arkansas and have Mark Pryor appointed the new Ambassador to Darfur....that will get him out of Arkansas!

My printer just jammed so I can't see the rest of my goodie list I've made for when the money comes in....... to be continued later! Remember Depend Thongs for SeniorsT goes on sale December 15th, just in time for nursing home Christmas parties everywhere! Less is still more when you're 94!

BTW, who is Amanda Beard?<<

"Amanda Ray Beard (born October 29, 1981 in Newport Beach, California) is an American Olympic swimmer and model.

Beard made her first Olympic appearance at the 1996 games at the age of 14. She won silver medals in the 100-meter and 200-meter breaststrokes, and a gold in the medley relay.

In 2003 she became the world champion and world record holder in the 200m breaststroke.

Amanda has won eight United States titles (thrice in both the 200m breaststroke and the 100m breaststroke, plus twice in the 200m individual medley). She was 1st in world ranking of 200m breaststroke in 2003.

Her modeling work through photos in swimwear, including bikinis, have been in the Sports Illustrated Swimsuit Edition. She is a spokesperson for Defenders of Wildlife, and she enjoys interior decorating.

Amanda posed for the July 2007 issue of Playboy. She was featured on the cover and in a nude pictorial. Amanda is currently featured on domain company GoDaddy's promotional material as the "GoDaddy Girl" "

Obviously, in a neighborly gesture, Max is helping celebrate Amanda's birthday.
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Heh heh....eLwood said breaststroke.......