Arkansas Blog

Max is our hometown hero.....

damn damn damn
what happened??????

Contrary to pundits, not everybody loves Huckabee
Email|Print| Text size - + By Dan Payne
December 13, 2007
THEY'VE found him! The punditocracy believes it has spied a rare species: a moderate Republican who's candid, funny, charming, and doesn't think the earth is flat or Bush has a clue. Eight years ago, it was John McCain. This time, it's Mike Huckabee. Channeling the 2004 hit comedy movie, they heart Huckabee.

more stories like thisWe expose Huckabee. In Salon.com, reporter Max Brantley recounted his years covering then-Governor Huckabee for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Reporters considered him petty, thin-skinned, self-righteous, and ethically challenged.

Brantley reports that Huckabee used campaign funds to pay himself as his own media consultant. (Personally, I consider this a hanging offense.)

According to Brantley, "Huckabee raked in tens of thousands of dollars in gifts, including gifts from people he later appointed to prestigious state commissions. Inauguration funds were used to buy clothing for his wife."

Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone found Huckabee had a $60,000 taxpayer slush fund for personal expenses like dog food, pantyhose, and meals at Taco Bell. Taco Bell?

Huckleberrys heart swag. When "Huckleberry," as he's nicknamed, left the governor's office, the furniture he'd been given to spruce up the place left with him.

When he and his wife decided to renew their wedding vows, they set up a registry at department stores so citizens could bestow gifts upon the First Couple. The list included Lenox china, a KitchenAid mixer, and a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. You try losing 100 pounds without a LaLanne.

The heart of Huckabee. When a retarded 15-year-old was raped by her stepfather, she needed state Medicaid funding for an abortion. Governor Huckabee defied a federal judge's order and blocked the abortion.

Evolution went missing from the textbooks and classrooms of Arkansas during the Reign of Huckleberry. In May, he raised his hand at a presidential debate when asked which of them did not believe in evolution.

He opposes embryonic stem-cell research, but this year accepted a fat speaking fee from drugmaker Novo Nordisk, which conducts embryonic stem-cell research. Over protests from churches, he pushed through a bill allowing video poker at the state's racetracks, then took a cool $10,000 campaign contribution from the owner of the state's biggest track.

In 1992, Governor Huckleberry, in calling for forced isolation for AIDS patients, declared: "It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population."

He tried to paint Arkansas Democratic US Senator Dale Bumpers as a pornographer for supporting federal arts grants.

He quietly pressured the Arkansas parole board to release a convicted rapist who had converted to Christianity in the joint. After his release, the guy killed one woman and probably another.

The heart of Romney. Fresh from mowing down his lawn workers, Mitt Romney fled to Texas to defend Mormonism. He had to. Huckabee has surged past him in Iowa and nationally. (Romney's Iowa lead was always illusory, based on huge TV spending.)

Romney's religion speech had one mission: blur the distinctions between his faith and that of evangelicals. A tall order. Mormons believe, for example, that Christ will return to a new Jerusalem in Jackson County, Mo.

Romney made a high-risk play and lost. All that most voters know is that he went on TV and gave a Mormon speech.

Now as Romney launches the year's first TV attack spot against Huckabee, I ask: Where's the Christian love?

Crowds heart Oprah. Oprah Winfrey is the most popular woman in America. Her three-state blitz for Barack Obama blotted out the media sun for all other Democrats, captured the attention of women who should be for Hillary, and gave white people tacit permission to vote for a black president.

A puzzling New York Times/CBS poll finds that Bill Clinton's support for his wife is more likely to move voters than Oprah's for Obama. Who did they think Bill would support, Joe Biden? And Oprah generated the kind of buzz Hillary's campaign would kill for.

N.H. heart Hillary. A recent ABC/Washington Post poll shows that while Hillary was struggling in Iowa -- it's her worst state, especially among men -- she had a comfortable lead in New Hampshire. Maybe not anymore. A brand new CNN poll has Obama catching her in New Hampshire, trailing by just one point. I don't know if it's the Oprah Effect, but nothing else happened that could explain it. Of course, those Clinton TV spots aren't helping. It's hard to sell a 2008 presidential candidate with 1958-looking spots.

Arkansas heart Hillary. Who would win if Hillary ran against Huckabee? A recent Arkansas poll shows Hillary crushing Huckabee 35 percent to 8 percent. To know Huckabee is to not heart him.

Dan Payne is a Boston-area media consultant who has worked for Democratic candidates around the country
Contrary to pundits, not everybody loves Huckabee
Email|Print| Text size - + By Dan Payne
December 13, 2007
THEY'VE found him! The punditocracy believes it has spied a rare species: a moderate Republican who's candid, funny, charming, and doesn't think the earth is flat or Bush has a clue. Eight years ago, it was John McCain. This time, it's Mike Huckabee. Channeling the 2004 hit comedy movie, they heart Huckabee.

more stories like thisWe expose Huckabee. In Salon.com, reporter Max Brantley recounted his years covering then-Governor Huckabee for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Reporters considered him petty, thin-skinned, self-righteous, and ethically challenged.

Brantley reports that Huckabee used campaign funds to pay himself as his own media consultant. (Personally, I consider this a hanging offense.)

According to Brantley, "Huckabee raked in tens of thousands of dollars in gifts, including gifts from people he later appointed to prestigious state commissions. Inauguration funds were used to buy clothing for his wife."

Matt Taibbi in Rolling Stone found Huckabee had a $60,000 taxpayer slush fund for personal expenses like dog food, pantyhose, and meals at Taco Bell. Taco Bell?

Huckleberrys heart swag. When "Huckleberry," as he's nicknamed, left the governor's office, the furniture he'd been given to spruce up the place left with him.

When he and his wife decided to renew their wedding vows, they set up a registry at department stores so citizens could bestow gifts upon the First Couple. The list included Lenox china, a KitchenAid mixer, and a Jack LaLanne Power Juicer. You try losing 100 pounds without a LaLanne.

The heart of Huckabee. When a retarded 15-year-old was raped by her stepfather, she needed state Medicaid funding for an abortion. Governor Huckabee defied a federal judge's order and blocked the abortion.

Evolution went missing from the textbooks and classrooms of Arkansas during the Reign of Huckleberry. In May, he raised his hand at a presidential debate when asked which of them did not believe in evolution.

He opposes embryonic stem-cell research, but this year accepted a fat speaking fee from drugmaker Novo Nordisk, which conducts embryonic stem-cell research. Over protests from churches, he pushed through a bill allowing video poker at the state's racetracks, then took a cool $10,000 campaign contribution from the owner of the state's biggest track.

In 1992, Governor Huckleberry, in calling for forced isolation for AIDS patients, declared: "It is the first time in the history of civilization in which the carriers of a genuine plague have not been isolated from the general population."

He tried to paint Arkansas Democratic US Senator Dale Bumpers as a pornographer for supporting federal arts grants.

He quietly pressured the Arkansas parole board to release a convicted rapist who had converted to Christianity in the joint. After his release, the guy killed one woman and probably another.

The heart of Romney. Fresh from mowing down his lawn workers, Mitt Romney fled to Texas to defend Mormonism. He had to. Huckabee has surged past him in Iowa and nationally. (Romney's Iowa lead was always illusory, based on huge TV spending.)

Romney's religion speech had one mission: blur the distinctions between his faith and that of evangelicals. A tall order. Mormons believe, for example, that Christ will return to a new Jerusalem in Jackson County, Mo.

Romney made a high-risk play and lost. All that most voters know is that he went on TV and gave a Mormon speech.

Now as Romney launches the year's first TV attack spot against Huckabee, I ask: Where's the Christian love?

Crowds heart Oprah. Oprah Winfrey is the most popular woman in America. Her three-state blitz for Barack Obama blotted out the media sun for all other Democrats, captured the attention of women who should be for Hillary, and gave white people tacit permission to vote for a black president.

A puzzling New York Times/CBS poll finds that Bill Clinton's support for his wife is more likely to move voters than Oprah's for Obama. Who did they think Bill would support, Joe Biden? And Oprah generated the kind of buzz Hillary's campaign would kill for.

N.H. heart Hillary. A recent ABC/Washington Post poll shows that while Hillary was struggling in Iowa -- it's her worst state, especially among men -- she had a comfortable lead in New Hampshire. Maybe not anymore. A brand new CNN poll has Obama catching her in New Hampshire, trailing by just one point. I don't know if it's the Oprah Effect, but nothing else happened that could explain it. Of course, those Clinton TV spots aren't helping. It's hard to sell a 2008 presidential candidate with 1958-looking spots.

Arkansas heart Hillary. Who would win if Hillary ran against Huckabee? A recent Arkansas poll shows Hillary crushing Huckabee 35 percent to 8 percent. To know Huckabee is to not heart him.

Dan Payne is a Boston-area media consultant who has worked for Democratic candidates around the country

Great article Jazzy. One of the best to take on the Huck for a Buck aura with more it an humor than the Govhimself is noted for.

A they say down here in Arkansas: Who gives a Huck?! (or What the Huck? or Hucking Nonsense!)

Hucking typos....part of missive should read "more wit and humor...."

What a clusterhuck!

And the classic:

"If you Huck me tonight, will you respect me in the morning?

And just wait until some bright media bulb starts digging into the Ted Suhl-Lord's Ranch jet story and the hard drive crushing bye-bye Huckabee gave us. We've got lots of entertainment ahead of us in the next few months.

PS Who is Fritz Brantley who reviews the movie over to the left side of my screen? Is this a Max relative?

No but Iill huckster you in the morning.
I'll huckster you when you're want to be alone
I'huckster you when you're trying to get stoned

I'll huckster you if your 15 pg and retarded,
I'll huckster you if your momma ever farted,

I'm not being just a shuckster
I'm getting into the huckster.

Take it away chuckster.

Huck me in the mornin
Huck me in the evenin
Huck me at suppertime
Be my little honeybun and huck me all the time.

Oh gawd, is this silly time or what?!!!

Huck No We Won't Go!
Huck No We Won't Go!
Huck No We Won't Go!
Huck No We Won't Go!
Huck No We Won't Go!

There once was a huck who thot he was a buck
But, then out of luck, he became stuck in the muck
He soon found out he was only a duck and poor huck could only cluck.

Lordy am I really doing this?????

Here comes Mikey with his hucker in his hand
He's a one poll man
And he's off to the rodeo.

Too ancient?

There once was a man from NanHuckett ...

Iowa a big apology for starting this mess. Don't want us to end up like masochists and sit around pun-ishing each other all night. YouGoob videos might want to do somethng about Mikey's love life called "Some In-Janet Evening."

I'm sure Huck will pardon me for that last one.

There once was a man from NanHuckett
He went to the beach with a bucket
To dig up some clams and big juicy hams
And said,"What a bad boy I am's."

Oh lord....is it near bedtime yet?

TAKE A BREATH GANG.....

Hey boys and girls. Take a break from frantically posting Huckabee items and go on over to Drudge. He is linking to a brand new poll that shows Huckabee with a growing lead in South Carolina. He is going to win Iowa and South Carolina my fellow bloggers....which would seem to mean that this incredible pounding he has taken this week isn't really moving his numbers.

Are you all the same folks who were on here six months ago saying his campaign would never amount to a blip on the radar screen? Are you ? Man...how many times are you guys going to be wrong. You just aren't listening...he's running the Clinton model from 92 and it's working just fine.

Where is your outrage that your girl Hillary called Obama a drug dealer this week?

I guess that just didn't make your radar screen.

OK. I fess up, Strange.
I think I was yelling the loudest that the joke, called Huckabee, didn't have a snowball's chance in hell of taking the nomination. I was wrong. I was wrong about GWB also.
I misunderestimated the unintelligence of the American people.

Obama's a drug dealer?
Can somebody get him to link to my name? I've got this friend....

Gee Strange....why do yo want to make such a big hucking deal about this?!!

Strange...enjoy your masturbatory fantasy while it lasts. I'll admit that I am surprised the attention Huck has garnered the last few weeks. I'm surprised how stupid the good people of Iowa must be. But tis a flash in the pan. Huck as the Republican Howard Dean will meet with the same fate.

The wonderful truth of the matter is that the Republican candidates are so personally flawed, each and every one that if this was 1988, at the end of a wonderful run for St. Ronald Reagan, the current batch of losers would have guaranteed that Michael Stanley Dukakis would have been elected the 41st President of the United States. I mean lookit.....Mike Huckabee is the best Republican running. How sick is that? How low our country has fallen! Why, it's time for Steve Clark to make a big comeback!

But hide and watch. The media and the Republican Party will cut Huckabee to shreds before the Democrats have a chance to get to him. He may have tickled the sheep farmers in Iowa, but his dog and pony show will not play in the other 49 states. Jake...."Some In-Janet Evening." wins the grand prize!

Oh damn Jake, you hucked the words right outa my mouth.
.

There's one more song we failed to mention Strange"

What goes up must come down,
Spinning wheel got to go round.

Thank you DBI. In accepting this Huscker, I want to recognize the person who made all this possible (besides myself). When I was a young man, I met an older and wiser woman who made it her mission in life to teach me about love and puns. She made me feel good and laugh whenever she did both.
Thank you Carol. I still hear your laughter. I guess I'd better shut the huck up now.

as the last 8 presidents have sucked
the U.S. is a chicken 'bout plucked
the globe will be pleased
when the world cop is Chinese
especially if the U.S. gets Hucked

I take my hat off to Carol, whoever and wherever she is.