Arkansas Blog

There's something in Revelation about a Southern Baptist from the Family Council adopting a black child being a sign that the end times are near.

Do you have any idea what it is to be shuttled from family to family, school to school, home to home, for the first 16 years of your life? Never knowing, never trusting, that your "parents" and your "home" will be there tomorrow?

Do you have any idea, on top of that, what it is to be a gay or lesbian child shuttled hither, thither and yon with no adults to talk with openly for fear you'll be kicked out on the streets because your guardians are "Christians"?

Or, worse, beaten to death at age nine because you're possessed? (Just Google this hideous stuff, Razorbacks.)

Do you have any idea what it is to grow up with the insanity of being "shamed" and reviled in the name of a "loving" God?

Do you have any idea the number of teen suicides due to homophobic religious bigotry? Google it.

Do you tithe and support that? Do you remain silent because you're "nice?"

Or do you speak out in the name of the kids (and their gay and lesbian parents) and say, "Enough! Stop!"

I find no possible altruistic motive behind the family council's proposal.
Gay bashing is the new racism...in some parts it's more than tolerated...it's encouraged.

Make a difference, become a foster parent. It's not that hard, my wife and I did it. You might even enjoy having the kids around around so much, you find you want to adopt one. We did and found our new daughter helps us laugh and stay young at heart. MAKE A DIFFERENCE

Thanks, SamNLR. That's the single most important post I've ever read in the AR TIMES blog.

Everything else is so much BS.

You, your wife and daughter enjoy and love each other in good health.

Now, Razorbacks. Do you think an eight-year-old gives a shit whether her or his parents are two women? Two men? Ma and Pa Kettle?

Hell, no. Not according to statistics.

The kid's grateful to have a home, a couple of loving parents, some food and fun every day, a roof over her/his head and a real chance at life instead of being forced out of foster homes at 16 or 18.

But no.

"Christian" hate dictates anti-gay-and-lesbian equality, across the board.

Denying over 1,000 Arkansas children a loving home because of religious bigotry.

Hateful religious dogma over children's welfare.

Step up to the plate, Razorbacks.

Male or female, grow some 'nads and stand up to this BS.

Even if it's your "friends."

I'm all for allowing gay people be foster parents - and if you keep up with this stuff - single gay people CAN be foster parents in Arkansas in case you didn't know. The current rules, which have been in place for years now, state that unmarried couples cannot be foster parents. So now matter how great of a foster parent I might be - if my girlfriend or even fiance movees in with me, I can no longer be a foster parent. This has always been the rule even before there were any issues of whether gay people can be foster parents. As a single person who has in the past lived with someone - I feel this rule fails to look at everyone as individuals. I don't like it because it fails to consider each case separately. At the same time, as a lawyer who has studied this issue - I think it is constitutional, whether I like it or not.

Even if we didn't have this rule - we would still have a shortage of foster parents and foster homes. If we really want to open more foster homes - especially for older children - one way to do so is to increse the board rate given to foster parents so being a foster parent is not a financial burden. I feel foster parents are some of our greatest heros in our state - I know that most of them do it out of a genunie desire to help these children, not for the money. Similarly, if we increase the rate we pay adoptive subsidies, which are close to foster parent board payment rates, we would be morelikely to find more permanent homes for these children.

Excellent post hoglawyer. Irecall when I adoped some 25 years ago it was a real hassle and the legal fees were steep. My brother and wife were scrutinized to the point of humiliation when they considered it. I understand the state is responsible for these children and most of the state personnel take it seriously. Is it possible that adoptions could be more adoptor friendly?

I am a 26-year old husband with a 25-year old wife. We already know that we will not be able to have our own children easily. I am very open to the idea of adoption, but my wife seems to shy away from it -- because of the expense and the incredible scrutiny. We are both college educated and I like to think decent people with love to give to a child, but neither of us will ever be rich. Certainly I don't expect the state to take our word that we will be "good parents," but I too fear that we could not pass the strict examination, mostly due to our health issues, which a judge might deem to make us unfit.

So, with no money and no good chance of passing the test, a loving couple may go childless and a child who needs parents will have to continue on without.

Surely there is a better way....

ARStudent, The costs are not prohibitive, become foster parents, it is a 8-10 week course once a week and while you are in the course they will do the background and criminal checks. We adopted one of our foster kids and I don;t think it cost us more than $100 out of our pocket. It only cost us time and love. Even after adoption the state continues to pay $425 per month for the child and the child stays on medicare so you are not saddled with medical bills. Yes the $425 per month could be higher, but it helps. Unfortunately I have seen too many foster families in it just for the money and I would hate to encourage them with more money. But with more good homes the poor ones could be weeded out. Please consider fostering and adoption. Trust me you will not regret it.

My two cents for what its worth.
This is a tragedy. These kids deserve better!!
There has to be better solutions!!
My husband and I adopted a 13mth old child of a drug addict. We kept him out of the foster care system. His birthsister was in that system for 5 or 6 years until the birthmother's parental rights were terminated. My son has issues. I have been asking for help with these issues since 2004. You can't imagine the trouble it is to actually find the help needed, then to fight the insurance (I work for the state government), dealing with principles, teachers, doctors,therapists,etc. We are on our 3rd doctor with yet another evaluation. I was told if I had gone thru the state everything would be paid for. Money is not the issue with us, we want to learn the necessary skills to raise a child who doesn't have the mental capacity to make responsible choices. We want our son to learn how to be a responsible productive individual. I will do whatever it takes and more.
I wouldn't change my situation for anything. We do the best we can and realize there is laways room for improvement. When that little boy comes up to me and tells me Im the coolest mom ever, all the aggravation disappears.
Kids need homes, there are people who have homes to share. Do the right thing and help these kids. If you can't share your home, share your time. These kids are starving for a little attention.
The state needs to do the right thing and provide foster parents, adoptive parents and these kids with the knowledge needed to make
the best of the situation.

Foster care takes a toll on almost all kids who must grow up in placement. One of the BIG problems with the foster care system is that the people who make the decision regarding what is "in the best interests of the child" haven't a clue what it is like to be a foster child or how to fix this broken system of care. A new book, titled Growing Up in the Care of Strangers: The Experiences, Insights and Recommendations of Eleven Former Foster Kids, counters most of the current practices and policies followed by the foster care system. More information about this book, its editors and authors is available at www.williamgladdenfoundation.org.