Arkansas Blog

Hey, maybe the rhino could become our new Razorback mascot.

This little vid inspires me!

Is this the way Janet Huckabee travels now?

Why is it legal to transport a female rhino across state lines for sexual purposes, but I'll be arrested for doing the same with a human female woman type?

Is the Rhino into Nazi themed S/M orgies?

The only difference between an erect rhino penis and the Alaskan pipeline is one of them carries oil.

If this female had been prettier would she have rated a window in her trailer?

Is she a Cubs fan?

(seriously, I like these little LR Zoo vids, someone deserves a Lu Harden sized raise)

Zoos make me so sad I can't visit them. I know there are cases where we're preserving something that might go extinct in the wild, but caging something for our entertainment has always seemed cruel to me.

She is officially now the male rhinos bitch. Watch for more eXXXciting Rhino videos to come.

The Rhino as the Razorback mascot? Elwood, you're a true dope.

Dagnabbit! Now _I_ want a rhino!

Gotta say, whoever's doing the videos is doing a swell job. With the b-roll, audio/video splits and whatnot.

I'm with you, Duh. I visited the LR zoo several years ago when I moved here, and just can't go back.

Learning the zoo kept Ellen the elephant for something like twenty years without a companion broke my heart. Seeing lone animals neurotically pacing back and forth in confined cages . . . sorry. I can't do it.

I did get to see, early one morning before the zoo opened, the two elephants released from their compound where their old keeper led them to a large open area where they scratched themselves by rubbing against trees and were free for awhile. Terry Branson, whom I assume is still with the zoo, rode atop Ellen.

Then, astonishingly (to me, anyway), the old trainer opened the gate and led Ellen out of the zoo into the empty parking lot where she and the trainer played with each other, rolling a huge tire back and forth.

Elephants. One of the most social and intelligent animals on earth. Kept alone for twenty years. Rolling a tire.

I just kept wishing these two female elephants could be shipped to the elephant sanctuary in Hohenwald, TN. My bluename's clicky if you'd like to see the sanctuary and how it treats these old circus and zoo elephants.

Of course kids love the zoo. It's their first and probably only experience of seeing these animals in person. And kids are too young to understand what's going on here.

People cite the "educational value" for children and adults, which is nonsense. Nobody's going to get "educated" by reading a little plaque for sixty seconds and seeing cooped-up wild animals. They can go on the internet and get far more education, if that's what they want.

Even at the world's greatest zoos, I can't get past the "something's deeply wrong here" feeling.

I have no idea what the solution is. Or if one is needed. Zoos provide jobs and bring in revenues for cities and states. I don't like them but others do. I don't like big game hunting either, but others do.

The compassionate idealist in me wishes all zoo funds, all over the world, would immediately go into establishing sanctuaries for these creatures, too old and "civilized" by decades of confinement to survive if returned to the wild, then transporting them to these various natural "retirement homes."

That's impossible.

But I have to say I once saw a rhino couple at the San Diego zoo in foreplay. Talk about educational!

A gray cold day. An lone old man in (I swear) a black overcoat and bowler hat staring across the security pit at these two rhinos. When I looked, I saw what he was staring at. The male already had a deep-purple erection that must've been three feet long. He'd bring it up under his belly, then slam it down against the ground, stirring up clouds of dust. Rhino masturbation, I figured.

Then I realized both the male and female were gashed and bloody. No wonder! She would lower her head, charge, and ram into him! He would lower his head, charge and ram into her! And these suckers can run and charge, let me tell you. Plus, them horns!

Bloody scrapes, open gashes and a three-foot penis. The old guy in the bowler hat and overcoat remained motionless.

I felt like I'd inadvertently stepped into some weird Magritte painting or one of those bestiality shows in a Tijuana nightclub.

The rhino couple ultimately disappeared to consummate their love in the interior portion of their "home."

So I'm hoping, with the addition of the female rhino at the LR Zoo, that all the widdle children of Arkansas who visit the zoo will come away from the rhino exhibit with an "education" and full of questions for Mommy and Daddy about rhinos.

"What's THAT thing!" "Why are they trying to kill each other!"

Until the screaming, crying, hysterical, sexually-traumatized-for-life widdle rugrats must be removed from the zoo and taken home for milk and brownies and Q&A.

Wouldn't you love to be a fly on the wall whilst Mommy and Daddy explain that shizz to widdle Tiffany and Sean?

I'd pay cash money.

Click me to enjoy the elephant sanctuary.

Meanwhile, here's what I think about zoos and wild animals as pets.

As I said when I posted this link in a previous post to ensure it gets seen:

"It's got EVERYTHING! Interspecies family reunions, smarmy sentiment, same-sex adoptees and Whitney Houston! What's not to love?"

Enjoy.

To all you sad sacks who "just can't go back," here's some advice. Help the zoo get funding. Mike Blakely and crew have done an incredible job with limited resources. I believe I am correct in stating that the LR Zoo is the Number one attraction in Arkansas. It is essential from an educational and tourism perspective and with the proper facilities, the animals have plenty of room to roam and everybody wins. Memphis has done it with corporate underwriting and we can do the same. Go to the zoo. Some of you probably should live there.

NormaBates:

The LR Zoo you speak of is the zoo of the past under much different leadership than today. I encourage you to visit the zoo again. The animals are well-kept, healthy, and don't pace back and forth. Elephant "sanctuaries" are not always the answer and it's irresponsible of us to say it should be the only option for elephants. There's no way to know what kind-of care elephants receive at these sanctuaries because they are privately, not publicly, funded. Also, simply giving elephants more space isn't always the best practice for an animal's health. We often apply human emotions to captive animal situations and we don't fully understand the real quality of life issues that effect an animal's health and happiness. Yes, elephants are complicated and emotional, but that's why they require the best care possible in captive situations, a care that accredited zoos can and do give.

I had the same belief about animals in zoos and the Little Rock Zoo for a long, long time. I, too, was disgusted with the practices of the LR zoo until I learned the truth. I'm now one of its biggest advocates. My negative feelings about the Little Rock Zoo were subsided after talking with the zoo's new director. He informed me of a lot of what's going on at the zoo and how important zoos are for animals. The research shared between zoos and organizations working to save the animals in the wild is critical. Also, especially when it comes to elephants, this notion of "the wild" is diminishing. Elephants in Africa and Asia are trapped between human population centers and can't roam freely or mate with animals from different groups. National wildlife parks in Africa and Asia are managing elephant populations by participating in captive breeding programs that reintroduce elephants of different gene pools to different geographic locations to cut down on in-breeding in the wild. And guess what? These organizations call on the expertise of zoos who have years of experience working with elephants. So, before you criticize, it's important to know all the facts and the reality of accredited American zoos today and how they are providing quality care for elephants around the globe. And if you want a real look at a real elephant sanctuary, I encourage you to click on my name and URL and check-out the National Elephant Center, an effort of zoos across the country.