Big Pussy America

Once upon a time America was a strong country chocked full of men and women with grit, guts, courage and unshakable iron wills. The British thought they'd roll over us in 1776. We whipped them so bad their current Prime Minister snaps to attention and bends over when our President walks into the room. That's really something when you remember our President was once beating black and blue by a salted pretzel.
America was once such a bad ass that we squared off and attacked ourselves back in the 1860s. We were so damn mean we killed over 600,000 of us..of US. Then Mexico flipped us off in the 1840s and we spanked their butts and got Texas out of the deal. William Randolf Hearst took a dislike to Spain and we spanked their butts in 1898. We had to rescue old Europe in WWI and after eating dust for 10 years in the Depression we still had enough spunk left to save the world from the Japs and the Germans in WWII.
I've been privileged to meet and get to know over 30 old grizzled veterans of the Great Depression and WWII. Several have told me how over the top manly, tough, forceful, and fearless General George Patton was, they saw him in action with their own eyes. Sure he was egotistical, theatrical, and vain, but no one ever called him a coward. In his lifetime no one called him a pussy!
Events of the last 2 days have confirmed my worst suspicions! Our once great country, in the past filled with magnificent manly men and pioneer women who could birth a baby in the morning and be hoeing corn rows that afternoon, has turned yellow. Since 9-11 many have lived every moment paralyzed by fear. A large part of our population sees terror around every corner, every day. Our leaders have squandered the world-wide goodwill shown to us after that terrible September while at the same time creating the greatest boondoggle in modern history...the obscenely obese Department of Homeland Security with it's yellow and orange terror alerts that sends the blue hairs flying under their own beds.
On Wednesday of this week the City of Boston became the latest victim of mass hysteria when after 2 weeks some pin-head looked up and saw this little refugee from Lite-Brite stuck up on the underbelly of a bridge. Next they spotted them up on hard to reach portions of building scattered around Boston. BOMB the dim wits shouted! Osama's handiwork! Al Qaeda's back! We're all gonna die! The city ground to a stop and every kind of bomb squad, FBI, and Homeland Security geek in the land descended on a city once unafraid of the entire British Empire. I once fondled the shoulder of a girl in a darkened movie theater and thought it was her boob, but how could any adult look at silly, blinking Mr.Mooninites (that thing pictured above) and think BOMB? What do they smoke in Boston these days? Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis threatened hard jail time for whoever planted these bombs.
Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomb-like" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city. Well...sure and if doughnuts were land mines America would explode into space tomorrow morning....with coffee. In the end one of our leading cities freaked out like a 10 year old girl because of a lame promotion of Turner Broadcasting System new TV cartoon, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
The City of Boston arrested the 2 men they believe responsible for installing the harmless Mooninites. The 2 quite properly laughed their way to jail and gave a news conference today when they were bailed out only answering questions on 1970s hair styles. But from the Mayor to the Governor's chair lots of humorless old white guys still have their panties in a wad and wants someone to pay back the $750,000 the city paid to have bomb squads "disarm" these flashing cartoon characters flipping the bird to the public. What a bunch of pussies!
Take my hero John Wayne, though I didn't like his politics after I grew up, he was.....not a pussy. The Duke fought and shot and kicked and smacked about every ethnic group on the planet in the 172 movies he made. He killed the Apaches in droves, yet they respected him. In one of his sorriest movies he hounded red pinko commies, even kicked an old commie lady down the stairs. He kicked and he didn't blink! John lived life to the fullest, beat cancer once, and stood face to face with his critics. He was no pussy!
Jesus was called a lot of names as he carried his own cross to the top of the hill, but even those spitting on him never thought to call him a pussy. According to the Bible Jesus wasn't afraid to consort with whores or tax collectors. He very carefully shook the hands of lepers. He hung with the poor, the outsiders, the losers and never batted an eye. He made water his bitch by walking on it in a storm. He walked into the middle of the Payday Lenders of his time and threw their asses out in the street. He looked at his Rat Pack and knew which one would sell him out for 30 pieces of silver, like an Arkansas PSC board member laying in bed with CenterPoint Energy. And when the jig was up and he was marched up that hill to get the most extreme piecing of all time, he didn't cry for his Mommy, he didn't call out the bomb squad or the swat team or dial up Michael Chertoff, he inhaled real big and took it like a man!
America's a big pussy. Bush worries what message we're sending to the troops by not goose-stepping behind his big plan that really isn't a plan. He says we embolden our enemies by openly speculating if he's gay or retarded or if Cheney recharges his heart by eating a mound of fresh fetuses every morning with his eggs. I think that's hogwash....as Cheney says. What would embolden our enemies more than find out the 24th largest city in the United States is scared to death by a dozen blinking hunks of plastic powered by a couple of D size batteries? Blinking cartoon figures! What a flaming bunch of pussies! How far we have fallen. Where is my country?
America was once such a bad ass that we squared off and attacked ourselves back in the 1860s. We were so damn mean we killed over 600,000 of us..of US. Then Mexico flipped us off in the 1840s and we spanked their butts and got Texas out of the deal. William Randolf Hearst took a dislike to Spain and we spanked their butts in 1898. We had to rescue old Europe in WWI and after eating dust for 10 years in the Depression we still had enough spunk left to save the world from the Japs and the Germans in WWII.
I've been privileged to meet and get to know over 30 old grizzled veterans of the Great Depression and WWII. Several have told me how over the top manly, tough, forceful, and fearless General George Patton was, they saw him in action with their own eyes. Sure he was egotistical, theatrical, and vain, but no one ever called him a coward. In his lifetime no one called him a pussy!Events of the last 2 days have confirmed my worst suspicions! Our once great country, in the past filled with magnificent manly men and pioneer women who could birth a baby in the morning and be hoeing corn rows that afternoon, has turned yellow. Since 9-11 many have lived every moment paralyzed by fear. A large part of our population sees terror around every corner, every day. Our leaders have squandered the world-wide goodwill shown to us after that terrible September while at the same time creating the greatest boondoggle in modern history...the obscenely obese Department of Homeland Security with it's yellow and orange terror alerts that sends the blue hairs flying under their own beds.
On Wednesday of this week the City of Boston became the latest victim of mass hysteria when after 2 weeks some pin-head looked up and saw this little refugee from Lite-Brite stuck up on the underbelly of a bridge. Next they spotted them up on hard to reach portions of building scattered around Boston. BOMB the dim wits shouted! Osama's handiwork! Al Qaeda's back! We're all gonna die! The city ground to a stop and every kind of bomb squad, FBI, and Homeland Security geek in the land descended on a city once unafraid of the entire British Empire. I once fondled the shoulder of a girl in a darkened movie theater and thought it was her boob, but how could any adult look at silly, blinking Mr.Mooninites (that thing pictured above) and think BOMB? What do they smoke in Boston these days? Boston Police Commissioner Edward Davis threatened hard jail time for whoever planted these bombs. Assistant Attorney General John Grossman called the light boards "bomb-like" devices and said that if they had been explosive they could have damaged transportation infrastructure in the city. Well...sure and if doughnuts were land mines America would explode into space tomorrow morning....with coffee. In the end one of our leading cities freaked out like a 10 year old girl because of a lame promotion of Turner Broadcasting System new TV cartoon, Aqua Teen Hunger Force.
The City of Boston arrested the 2 men they believe responsible for installing the harmless Mooninites. The 2 quite properly laughed their way to jail and gave a news conference today when they were bailed out only answering questions on 1970s hair styles. But from the Mayor to the Governor's chair lots of humorless old white guys still have their panties in a wad and wants someone to pay back the $750,000 the city paid to have bomb squads "disarm" these flashing cartoon characters flipping the bird to the public. What a bunch of pussies!
Take my hero John Wayne, though I didn't like his politics after I grew up, he was.....not a pussy. The Duke fought and shot and kicked and smacked about every ethnic group on the planet in the 172 movies he made. He killed the Apaches in droves, yet they respected him. In one of his sorriest movies he hounded red pinko commies, even kicked an old commie lady down the stairs. He kicked and he didn't blink! John lived life to the fullest, beat cancer once, and stood face to face with his critics. He was no pussy!America's a big pussy. Bush worries what message we're sending to the troops by not goose-stepping behind his big plan that really isn't a plan. He says we embolden our enemies by openly speculating if he's gay or retarded or if Cheney recharges his heart by eating a mound of fresh fetuses every morning with his eggs. I think that's hogwash....as Cheney says. What would embolden our enemies more than find out the 24th largest city in the United States is scared to death by a dozen blinking hunks of plastic powered by a couple of D size batteries? Blinking cartoon figures! What a flaming bunch of pussies! How far we have fallen. Where is my country?




Comments
My sister sent me a book that she discovered in a bookstore. It was a journal about the lives of -- of all people -- MY great-great-grandparents!
What a thrill!
I've never met any of the ancestors described in the journal -- long before my time -- but I came to have a greater understanding of their heroic day-to-day existence.
They were immigrants, about to become brave Americans.
They drove a conestoga pulled by two oxen over hills, through valleys, across rivers and gullies.
Their kids couldn't leave the wagon -- they would never be seen again, swallowed up by a jungle of grass. The Big Bluestem grass was seven feet tall.
Eventually, they parked the wagon and began to dig a well for their homestead. They lived in the wagon for more than three months while they dug a well -- by hand with a shovel -- before the dry season could kill them.
Then they began to dig their home -- a dugout in the dirt.
How did they do it?
They had no nearby towns, not even county governments. No neighbors. Indians were feared. There were no 911 operators or neighbors to call.
They were at the mercy of floods, droughts, tornadoes, dust storms, ice storms, pestilence, disease, varmints, and bandits. They couldn't build a fire in that tall grass.
How did they do it? The journal described their lives. They were brave, hardy, intelligent people. One little family alone, finding ways to survive through common sense, faith, and hard work. Six years of drouth -- in a cycle with a flood every seventh year. Toil, enthusiasm, disappointment, tragedy, elation -- all centered around toil.
Eventually, other brave little families were located, and a sense of community helped the far-flung families to survive out in the middle of Nowhere. They were all partners with Nature in a dance for survival. Each helped the others with education. They founded a church. I began to recognize some of the family names.
Today, long after God has met Mammon through the auspices of Big Bizness and corrupt politicians, the sense of community is gone. The brave little families have died off, leaving their descendants to forget early struggle and terror. The cycle of toil and survival has been interrupted. The community connections were killed by the likes of Archer-Daniels-Midland, Enron, and politicians who represent them by promoting legislation such as Freedom to Farm.
We fear the terrors of our own making.
We don't know who our true friends are. Mammon teaches: "Do unto others before they can do unto you."
So, as I read that journal written by my great-great aunt, I became aware of some of that gritty stuff that we Americans have lost. Is it too late to revive a little bit of that old spirit? Just a little bit? ...
--"Raise less corn and more hell".
Posted by: Ecce! Spiro et Spero.
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February 2, 2007 04:05 PM
One general remarked lately,
"The U.S. Army is at war, America is at the mall"
and that's the way it goes for a pussy nation.
General Patton once remarked One Thing America cannot stand is a loser. The Republicans have put two pussy-losers in the Wht House, one heads to the basement like an old woman scared of the storm everytime a piper club flies over D.C., the other watches battles in Iraq by remote tv, works up his rare erection, urging the troops to do what he never had the balls to do.
_
Posted by: Lwood
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February 2, 2007 06:34 PM
I read about this kind of LED "tagging" in the New York Times weeks ago. The article noted that the simple little LED lights (bulbs, wires, small battery) beat spraypaint all to hell. The lights are attached with magnets and the point is to surprise and delight.
Here is a video with gentle, peaceful music of a group of people "tagging" a building on a streetcorner. It's beautiful.
http://graffitiresearchlab.com/?page_id=6
You can link on that page to how to make them and other folks "tagging" with their grafitti name. It's easy to spell out a message on foam core and put a magnet or adhesive on the back.
If I saw this (or a Moonninite) I'd never think "Osama!"
Methinks I'll make me some anti-war ones... where the metal buidlings at?
Posted by: mag
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February 3, 2007 11:09 AM
Only Bushco could devise this contraption, a device thru which a vehicle is moved to detect for nuclear materials.
Laughter is the only salvation when you consider that for the sake of Big Agri Bushco is willing to leave our borders as open as an African window.
Oh we should mention this little anti-nuclear toy is going to cost us ???
No telling how much of our national budget and future was squandered on "The Cold War" and all the toys they needed to fight it.
The gaget is reported on by NYT. Click my name for the story
_
America always needs a boogey man is what my grandpa told me 40 years ago.
Posted by: Lwood
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February 9, 2007 10:23 AM
I hope you have some living relatives who can help you fill in the tale of your ancestors (I done already forgot the first posters name).
See here now this is not right. Not right at all. You left out St. Houston.
Im older now and have been near-death sick and im tired but i once was one of those women who birth 10-pound babies in the morning and hit the proverbial cornfields in the afternoon. Even older and tired and still weak I could take on that stupid bush and cheney with both hands tied behind my back, just so long as there were no hunting rifles.
i am deeply disapponited that you left out st houston. But it is not too late.
Posted by: tina
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February 23, 2007 12:19 PM