Central Arkansas Confidential

Yeah, I'm back, thanks for kicking the corpse, still alive...

Ummm, what the F? NAACP is lobbying against a seat belt law that would allow the police to pull you over for not wearing one.  Okay?

I understand that the NAACP is thinking and saying that, hey, police could use that law to pull over minority drivers to harass them or try to find them doing something wrong.  I can also see the logic in not allowing them to pull you over for not wearing a seat belt gives them one less excuse for making unwarranted harassing stops.

But does the NAACP not think wearing your seat belt should be inforced?  No, I know they aren't, but this seems a little silly to me.  You should be wearing your seatbelt.  Why aren't you wearing your seatbelt?  And I'm sure the law would be optional for the officer and then we would get some statistics telling us more minorities were stopped for not wearing their seatbelts than white folks.  And no one wants that, but come on, if you're wearing your seatbelt what's the fuss.  It's like saying, you can't inforce on law to protect against another?  I don't know, it just sounds like an awkward cause...

This was not what I intended to post, but that's what came out cause I just read it... hmmmmm... still not back in the groove...

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (5)

It is with a heavy heart and soul that I pass along the news that my dear friend and one of the most talented individuals I will ever have the pleasure of knowing has left us.  Chadwig "Buddy" Habig passed away last night and the world will be a little dimmer, a little sadder and a lot less musical.  I will miss him.  You're the tops, Buddy, play it again, and this time with a bumpy C! All My Love.

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (2)

Okay, people, seriously, I know, I haven't been around much lately, I've been in a creative slump, sue me.  That being said, it's the "holiday season" once again, and once again everyone has lost their damn minds.

Do not copt an attitude with low level employees over issues that are obviously company-wide, corporate policies that this poor shmuck in front of you, or on the other end of the phone or answering your "contact us" email will have no authority to change. (Just because it is an email, doesn't mean someone doesn't have to read it and incur all that ill will.  They're there to help you out, not take your bad day bitching via the internet.)

For example, yes, many gift cards have a "purchase fee" of a few dollars associated with them.  Don't go to buy any type of gift card that is "universal" and think the magic gift card fairy makes them pop out of thin air.  Do you think that company is getting rich off those fees?  Do you think they're just rolling around in gift card fee money, buying corporate strippers and shots all night long?  Those fees go to pay for all the infrastructure and processing that goes along with that card and allow you to use little or no imagination in getting a token gift for somenoe that says, "hey, here's a gift card, I don't trust you not to buy drugs with cash and I have no desire to go shopping for something you might like or need because you just aren't that important to me."

When you get all upset with Susie Customer Service at the store after waiting in line to buy gift cards and she tells you the total is $12 more than you bargained for because of some fee and you turn into a 3 year-old toddler having a tantrum in the middle of the aisle, you need to stop, take a deep breath and say your sorry and leave.  You have forfeited your adult consumer rights for that day.

What you should do if you really want to complain to someone is ask for the number to their customer service.  Then, using 1 to 5 hours of your time, wade through the complex web of advisors, supervisors and department heads until you reach someone in some sort of position of power at that company.  Then let loose your verbal dogs of war about the state of the economy and the highway robbery they are charging you to basically give them money.

If they don't hang up on you, good for you, you gave them a what for.  However, unless you have say, 8 million friends who do the same thing, NOTHING will happen to that fee.  NOTHING.  You might get lucky and have it refunded to you, but don't think policy change is happening.  99% of people are perfectly fine with paying those fees or don't feel their time is cheap enough to spend fighting it.  And some people actually do this crazy thing where they buy actual things for people and wrap them in paper and give it to the person instead of putting a gift card, in a card, in an envelope. I know, it's old fashioned, but try it.

Gift cards are a waste of your time and your money.  Most gift cards will sit around slowly draining themselves with maintenance fees as they are forgotten by your intended giftee.  Companies love them, they are basically free money.  So why don't you do yourself a favor and just cut out the plastic that will sit around on the planet for the next 100,000 years and give that person cash if you don't want to go shopping for something.  Sure they may spend it on a speedball and some gin, but you'll have the satisfaction of knowing they got what they really wanted and you didn't pay that gift card fee!  Take that retailers!

I swear, if I hear "Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays" one more time... a post for another day...

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (0)

Sweet, sweet, sweet hell!  My original post just got deleted thanks to my SUPER SWEET internet setup at work, which is the worst.  I don't have tabbed browsing if that tells you what we're working with.  Not to mention the "brain trust" I'm surrounded by...

Anyway, just putting in my two cents on the Election, 2008.  I for one will be glad that it's over, I'm so exhausted from politics, two years, too long.  I'm glad to hear everyone, for the most part, that I know is having an easy time voting and I think you can really smell the change in the air... that's Obama, take a big whiff.  It's time for the Republicans to take their toys and go home and let the adults clean up their mess.  Hmmm things I'm looking forward to NOT missing when Obama takes the wheel.

Also, to the few people I have spoken to who totally think Palin is a competent leader ready to take over should McCain die in office.  Listen very carefully: YOU HAVE LOST YOUR DAMN MIND. 

Finally, I would like to throw a shout out to my #1 lady, Hillarry Clinton, you gonna be okay Hillz, you gonna be okay! 

I hope you went out and voted today and I hope you voted B-Rock. 

Yay democracy! M.R.

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (0)

Okay, so apparently the new cool thing for kids to do is called "Dusting".  Basically, and you can read more below from the email I got or from the Snopes.com entry here, basically people inhale this compressed gas and get dizzy for about 10 seconds and that's the high.  The dizziness stems from the propellant, which is heavier than air, keeping oxygen out of your lungs and depriving your brain and the rest of your body of oxygen...

Really, are you fucking kidding me people?  What happened to real drugs you had to buy from some dirty hippie behind the gym?  If you think you're going to be cool in school doing drugs, then do drugs, don't look for industrial cleaners and crap to get a 3 second high and possible instant death.  If you are "dusting", which is the lamest name for doing something ever, you are an idiot and a complete douche.  You shouldn't even call yourself a drug user, you give drug users a bad name.  At least what they are doing makes sense, it was made to be a drug. You're doing something made to literally blow the dust off of other things, that is not cool to abuse, that's a cry for help.  Get off Facebook and get a life, go out in the sun, roll someone's house or something. 

You know what will get ya high kids? Dog food, yeah, that's right, get some Purina Puppy Chow, soak it in warm milk for 15 minutes and then eat it, bam! Totally whacked out high, man.  Super cool.  Or you know what else, avocados, yeah, avocados, see what you do is you find a ripe one at the grocery store and buy it, then go home and cut it open, then scrape out all the soft green stuff, that's the drugs, then you put that in a bowl with some lime juice and some garlic and some salsa, to cut the taste because drugs are bitter, and then you mix that up and eat it off tortia chips, yeah, crazy buzz man, crazy! 

No that's guacamole you retard.  Don't do drugs, they're bad for you!  And don't "huff", "sniff" or "dust" anything into your body, that's also bad for you and there's no "high", there's just the natural reaction of your body shutting down due to a lack of oxygen.  You're not cool, or doing drugs, or being a bad-ass, or fightin the man, or showing your parents what-for, you're just being an ass.  Steal a sixer of beers from the fridge like a real teenager and drink 'em in the woods behind your house and talk about all the fine ladies you're gonna get at Homecoming like a real teenager. 

"Dusters", you disgust me, you're teenage years should be revoked for misappropriation.  And if you are also "choking", you are a double-douche.

Ridiculoussly angry about this newest trend in lame-o adolescent behavior, M.R.

Continue reading "Are You Freaking Kidding Me Guys?" »

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (1)

Mad Men wins!  Mad Men wins the Emmy for best drama! YAY! I didn't predict this on here, but I could have told you this show was going to win.  There is so much going on and it is so beautiful to watch.  It really does take you to another time and place where the smallest details are looked after and you start to feel a little uncomfortable being inside these characters' lives.  I will say that the new season isn't as fast and furious as the first, but in many ways it's getting more interesting with an expansion into other characters' lives in and out of the office, especially with a new thread of changing attitudes of women and their role in the home and the workplace.  With a strong collection of female characters and actresses, this may become the prevailing theme of Season Two. 

If you aren't watching Mad Men, you are mad.  Go get Season 1 and start catching up on Season 2.  Probably online on AMC or when they do encores, which is like all the time.

30 Rock wins!  30 Rock won for best comedy at the Emmy's and I think this was a shoe-in.  With the relative dillution of the Office as the best show on television (mind you I think we all know they're winding down over there, not to say it's not hysterical still, there's just too much going on outside of the show with all the, now, stars that its inevitable the show is going to get a little less sharp); I think it was no surprise Tina Fey's 30 Rock has risen to the top as the best comedy on television this year and one of the best of the decade. 

I don't know how she does it, but she does, she is one of the funniest people in this country and probably the world.  She has it dialed up and on conference call.  Here is a prediction you can hold me to, when and if Lauren Michaels ever decides to retire (and/or die, because frankly I think he may be able to cheat death, he's that smart) I predict that Tina Fey will be given the reins to Saturday Night Live and thus become (if she isn't already) the most powerful woman in comedy and quite possibly the most powerful person in comedy.

The only thing I haven't seen her do and I'm sure will be in the works, is some sort of internet venture of her own, be it a series on funnyordie.com or whatever.  I expect great things of her, terribly funny, yes! but great.

Other yeeehas! for me on the Emmy's:

Of course Tinay Fey as best actress and best writer awards for 30 Rock! Do your thing girl!

Alec Baldwin - Supporting Actor on 30 Rock.  A pleasure to watch, he slays me every episode.

Jean Smart as Regina Newly on Samantha Who?  She's great, good show, but with Christina Appelgate's cancer diagnosis, no word on it's return... I'll have to google that.

Don Rickles - Mr. Warmth - Oustanding Individual Performance in a Variety Program - good Don Rickles, still laying it down well into his 70's, and that kid did some hard living back in the day, holla.

Glenn Close - Damages - Lead Actress - ummm, yeah, I think we all saw that coming.  She's the best, what are you gonna do ladies?

Bryan Cranston - Breaking Bad - (AMC oh look at that another one on that channel, might want to start turning over to AMC huh?) - he's great, just great, i want to give him a big hug for all the enjoyment I've gotten from his work.

Things I wish were never on air let alone give Emmys: Dancing with the Stars.  Stop the maddness.

Well, another year, another Emmy's missed, I'm just too busy these days, but my shows did well, save LOST, maybe that will be a wake up call for JJ to stop ignoring what got him to the big kid table.  Just like with ALIAS, he's letting the end of the show slip away because of new projects, sad really, LOST could go down as one of the greastest shows in the history of television if he'll make sure to keep a tight ship and not pour all the focus into the movies and FRINGE, which I enjoy as well, I just hope there is still good work going on with LOST, which LOST a little something last season with some muddled episodes.

m.r.

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (0)

Global Warming Exists.  Period.

Unless you are a complete psychotic-nutcase homeschooling you children to believe that God intended the polar bear to die and it's the Lord's divine will to melt the ice caps, you have got to start paying attention to global warming.  Why? Hurricanes in Arkansas.

When the hell did we have to start worrying about hurricanes in Arkansas?  I don't remember when I was  a kid it raining three straight days because of a "tropical depression" coming through?  What the F?  And this past weekend, what the hell was that?  Suddenly we're on the dirty side of the storm?  What?  There's no beaches here?  Wait, this isn't fair.

I mean if we're going to have the ill effects of hurricanes, I want the perks, I want an ocean, I want a beach, I want sunny, 80 degree days with decent humidity.  It's not fair to be landlocked and have to deal with ice storms and have to deal with stupid remnants of hurricanes that knock down trees, flood everything and take out power for three days.  Screw that noise.  So start thinking green people, because global warming is coming fo yas.

And furthermore, why, oh why are we talking about drilling for more and more oil to refine in more and more refineries that are shutdown or destroyed by more and more storms?  Maybe we should think about finding a renewable energy source that won't shoot up in price everytime there's hurricane in the Gulf or the Mid-East decides to squeeze us... hmmm, where's that platform Obamma? 

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (0)

Ladies, ladies, ladies, please, will you stop with the fake, "oh my gosh" girl personality?  If I have to listen to another introduction between two perfectly intelligent, perfectly business oriented women that goes like this:

"HAAAAAAAAAY! I'm XXXXXX, SO! Good to meet you..."

"HAAAAAAAAAAAY Girl! I'm XXXXXX, SO GOOD! to put a face to a name...."

"Oh my gosh, those are the cutest shoes!"

"Thanks, I've had them for like forever, cute bag!"

"Thanks."

Where the end of every sentence trails off in a question inflection.  It's like they're rushing each other for a sorority neither one of them wants to be in.  I mean come on, I'm all for women in the workforce, break the glass ceiling, do your thing, but is part of your thing an annoying valley girl voice that sounds like your going to go back to the conference room and braid each other's hair and talk about boys?

Whatevs, so over it, oh my gosh! M.R.

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (0)

So, if you'll read this entry about a Harvard Med. School scientist who is creating a new form of life, (from Wired.com) you will understand the title of this post.

I find it rather interesting that someone, well a lot of someones, have embarked on what could technically be called one of surest ways to start a philosophical, religious, scientific debate over the very nature of our existence and it's being met with rather little fanfare, though it has popped up on the front of Yahoo!  That's where I saw it.

Anywho, I mean, it reads as if this team of scientists will, in the near future, create a completely new single celled organism that will replicate on it's own and I guess begin to evolve.  I mean, will there be a "Protocell Project" that will be on going monitoring and experimenting on the evolution of this new life form.

And let me re-iterate that, NEW LIFE FORM.  Not some genectically altered stem cell or some amoeba they split and put back together.  This thing was made from chemicals and stuff in a lab, engineered from scratch, i.e. "created"... someone else created a life once...

So here are my questions, and let me first say I don't condemn this research, though I'm interested in the ethical questions it will bring up, I mean they plan to experiment on it's evolution, there just seems to be something inherently wrong with that idea.

1.  Once it begins to replicate on it's own and "do useful things", I mean, maybe not today, or tomorrow, or a thousand years from now, but eventually, this thing will become a more complex thing, just like all life on Earth.  How will growing up in a lab effect it?

2.  What are these sceientists views on this "creation's" future.  I mean, is it technically alive, are we going to re-define "life" so this thing isn't alive and therefore it can be mucked around with?  I know, I know, it's a single cell organism, not even that yet, but still, what would have become of us if someone was poking around the petry dish we crawled out of?

3.  Is this how we were created?  Are we just a little organism in someone's galactic petry dish?

I don't know, I don't, it's just very interesting to me that someone out there is creating a new form of life that we've never seen.  Darwin would love this!

Hmmmm, how will creationists attack this?  Sorta takes some of the wind out of your sails when your neighbor is making life in a lab... who knows, I'm sure the Huckster will come up with something... M.R.

Posted by Mr. Ricky | Permalink | Comments (1)

So, Google, the company that is slowly but surely taking over the world, has released the beta version of their own web browser, called Chrome.  Check it out by going here:

However, what I think is surprising is that when one searches for "Chrome" on the old googler, the first result is Chrome Bags, a highish end messenger bag company out of San Francisco:

Imagine everyone who will search for Chrome and see their intriguing little site come up first and then go check it out, and start thinking, hmmmm, $150 for a backpack isn't that much when it's waterproof... I bet their September sales are way up, just you watch.

I guess you're going to see me with some chrome on my back too.

Both Chromes look great, though Google has been catching some flack on this latest creation, but like all things Google, it's in Beta and will be until your kid's kids are off to college, so don't worry, they'll get them fixed, meanwhile Microsoft and Firefox roll their eyes and wait for that market share to start slipping.

Beware, there has been some talk about Chrome having some security flaws, so you may not want to go anywhere you don't really know on it.  On a curious note, Chrome and the Yahoo! front page didn't seem to get along real well last night when I tried there, after a few pages into Yahoo! sports things got better, but it is interesting as other sites I went to look the same or better.  I'll be keeping it around as a toy for now, but all my biz is still gonna have to be on Firefox for now.

   If only Google would make a phone... oh wait, they are...

Weeeeeeeeeeeeeee, the internet is fun, it's not just for porn anymore, though porn is still widely available. (Sorry, no link, this is a family blog)

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