Central Arkansas Confidential

     So my kickball team was lost in the playoffs this weekend marking the end to a great season of playing a schoolyard game.  I love the Little Rock Kickball Association and almost everyone in it.  Each Sunday, hundreds of adults bring their families, friends and pets out and we all play kickball, six innings a game, tons of fun.  There are three divisions spanning competitive to "laid back".  And once your game is over, usually people hang out, watch other games, scout teams and basically have a great time all thanks to a little red ball, a baseball diamond and no lightning. 

     Now I love playing kickball, and I have gotten trounced, I done the trouncing on others, I've been in nail biters and I've been the hero that saved the game and the zero who lost it.  I've played in all three levels and I've had the time of my life doing so, but this weekend I had my first truly bad taste of the dark side of the big red ball.  We were playing a good team, it was a hard fought battle and at the end, our own mistakes (and a few from the umps) killed us and we lost.  Now if that's all it was, I could quietly sit back and take it on the chin, but I have to say the way in which the other team acted, through out the entire game and they game they played before that wasn't just embarrassing as a kickballer, but reprehensible as members of a civilized community. 

     First of all, it's just kickball, and if you're in the competitive league it just means you want to play serious ball, like it was a sport.  But the game isn't any different from the Laid-Back-League who's playoffs depend less on the score of the game and more on the costume contest and audience participation sketch, it's all just kicking a big rubber ball around in the dirt and having fun.  I mean, I go out there because A) It's ridiculous for anyone over the age of 14 to be playing kickball for any reason.  B) Ummm, it's kickball, it's really fun C) You're kickball team is like a whole other set of friends you see once a week on the field of glory and you have that team dynamic that a lot of us don't get in the "real world" D) Did I mention grown men and women sliding, diving for catches, debating the bunt or kick away strategies, the guy with the tiger tail, the team that played in prom dresses, hello?  No where in there did I list sloshed meat head spouting off the entire game and trying to intimidate the high school umps and calling the women on the opposing team things that frankly I wouldn't say to my ex-wife who cheated on me with the Pacific Fleet.  It was bad; ya'll, real bad.  I mean I've seen worse in a bar fight, sure, but this is kickball, this is Sunday afternoons and going to El Porton after, this isn't my freshmen year of college all over again.  LRKA has a zero tolerance policy about this kind of behavior, but it was not enforced during either of those games and that's a shame.  I would have enjoyed my day in the cold a lot more had I not been subjected to poor attitude, disregard for fellow kickball enthusiasts (and the many children out to watch their parents or siblings) and complete lack of anything resembling dignity, honor or sportsmanship. 

     So if anyone sees this team of Mr. Chebags, I apologize on behalf of kickball everywhere, they exemplify only what a kickball team should never be.  I hope the commissioner and the board will witness first hand what a poor addition the make to the overall association and let them know they need to either play like kids and act like adults, or not come out on Sunday. 

The pursuits of the Ultimate Kickball Championships of the Known Universe continue next Sunday at Hindman Park off 65th street in Little Rock.  The public is welcome to come watch, though you may want to carpool, not a lot of parking down there.

For more information on joining the LRKA for the Spring 2007 season and all things kickball in Little Rock:

Also if you missed the production of the I Am My Own Wife, starring Alan Douglas, at the Weekend Theater, I feel sorry for you.  Mr. Douglas was superb as Charlotte von Mahlsdorf, as well as over 40 other characters, in this one-man show about a transvestite living in East Germany that survived the Nazis, the Russians, the Stasi and the fall of the Berlin wall.  The story is so interesting, so amazing, I press everyone to research it, read the show, go see the show if you can (The Weekend Theater's presentation was one weekend only and is part of a series of one man shows throughout the year), because no matter how you feel about homosexuality, Nazi Germany, the Cold War, or hundreds of other things this show deals with, the mere fact that she was able to not only survive, but thrive under these conditions is remarkable, truly remarkable.  The performance was inspiring as an actor seeing such fine craftsmanship on stage and as a human being hearing that story of survival.

For more information on the show and the true story of I Am My Own Wife, see there website by clicking above.
http://www.iammyownwife.com

Other than that, THE HOGS WON! WOOOO PIG SOOOIEEEE! and the Cardinals are tied 1-1, though I'm not fanatic about MLB and I won't be watching much of the series, nonetheless, go Cards.

Oh, and finally, if fell to 3-4 in Fantasy Football as I managed to schedule bye weeks for 5 my starters including both starting running backs, since one of the is still hurt.... thus I picked up some guy from the waiver wire, I think one of them is legally dead.... not good, not good....

Confidentially, tired ya'll, I remain, Mr. Ricky.

Again:  caconfidential@gmail.com should you need Mr. Ricky to shed life on your meager problems or great philosophical debates.