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« November 2006 | Main | January 2007 »
Wednesday, December 20, 2006 - 16:10:02
Almost forgot...
This is something I tripped over while looking for terrible Christmas Gifts and it struck me as funny:
The card actually says, please pray for Jolene Gregory, helping turn lost students inot Christ-centered laborers. Wait, what? Does that even make sense? So she's taking people in school and turning them into laborers? My first reaction is Jolene isn't helping the future of the economy. Christ-centered? Okay, so only Christians can labor? See this is what gets me about all the missionary things, they're always trying to change people, trying to spread Christianity to people who already have a religion or may be Christians worshipping in a different denomination. Where's the regard for their religion, their customs, their academic studies, huh, where is that Jolene? Whatever it is, why are you forcing religion on these people. More over, why aren't you doing that "good work" in the Middle East? I don't see a lot of missionary programs to Iraq, Iran, Syria or Palestine. Come on Jolene, I'm not saying, but I'm saying...
I wish Jolene luck in whatever it is she's suppose to be doing.
This is confidentially ludicrous to send out to promote your organization, expect Mr. Ricky's card to look similar next year...
Tuesday, December 19, 2006 - 11:04:57
Some of the Worst Christmas Presents That You Should Buy Someone
Yes, you should buy these horrible gifts because they are hysterical and will provide years of great holiday stories amongst friends and family.
"Remember when Lucas got me that light up tie that swore at you in French, good times!"
You should not buy them if you intend for them to be actual presents...
In no particular order of ridiculousness:
Pimp My Ride, the game - that's right, not only has MTV run this program into the ground by putting crap into vehicles that isn't just unecessarry but dangerous, sure, why not brew beer in the back of your 1980 Suburban or put a fire pit in the bed of a '65 El Camino? Well, now you can be the master of your Pimped Ride domain with Pimp My Ride, the game. (Actual Game Description:) Enter Pimp City, where bling is king, and style is everything. On these streets, if your car isn't fully pimped out, you'd be better off walking. You and Xzibit will take on the challenge of hooking up your homies, and transforming their hoopties, buckets and beaters into the hottest whips on the street, while redlining through the highways and alleyways of Pimp City. You choose the mods, you choose the route, but pimpin' ain't easy. It will take speed and style to hook them up. Do you have what it takes to Pimp Their Ride?
Well, I don't know if I have "what it takes", but if that isn't the worst premise for a video game since "Kris Kros - Make My Video" I don't know what is.
Holiday Ties - any holiday, not just Christmas, is turns lame-o once embolden on a necktie. Do you really want your father in a board meeting wearing this?:(I know, I do too, ha,ha,ha. I love how the Spongebob is square at the bottom, nice touch and an omage to the 80's woven tie):
Fruitcake - bleck! Just the sight of this picture made me throw up a little in my mouth, it's okay, I swallowed it. Fruitcake is the worst (and that's not some homophobe remark you "p.c.ers"!) I mean, seriously, what says I hate you and I hope you die more than a loaf of stale bread made with too much ground clove and marbled throughout with "candied fruit" and nuts and some jellatin things I really don't know the origins of. Uhhh, candied fruits, gross, no matter what Food Network personality tries to say they are back in fashion, fruitcake is gross y'all. No wonder their sunk in booze, that's the only reason to attempt eating one. However, it is fun to pass one around, year after year and see who gets stuck with it when everyone dies.
I will not perpetuate this food by giving a link to buying it, rather, click to read about our dear Fruitcake Lady, who passed earlier this year.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marie_Rudisill
Tickets to a reading of :
Ayn Rand's A Selfish Christmas (1951)
In this hour-long radio drama, Santa struggles with the increasing demands of providing gifts for millions of spoiled, ungrateful brats across the world, until a single elf, in the engineering department of his workshop, convinces Santa to go on strike. 
The special ends with the entropic collapse of the civilization of takers and the spectacle of children trudging across the bitterly cold, dark tundra to offer Santa cash for his services, acknowledging at last that his genius makes the gifts -- and therefore Christmas -- possible. Prior to broadcast, Mutual Broadcast System executives raised objections to the radio play, noting that 56 minutes of the hour-long broadcast went to a philosophical manifesto by the elf and of the four remaining minutes, three went to a love scene between Santa and the cold, practical Mrs. Claus that was rendered into radio through the use of grunts and the shattering of several dozen whiskey tumblers. In later letters, Rand sneeringly described these executives as "anti-life." [Many thanks to Whatever Blog] Wow. Actually, I think that might be nice little show... this just made me laugh, check out the other failed Chirstmas specials at the Whatever blog.
Gift Cards - Sorry, gift cards are copt outs. A gift card says, I didn't have the time, the insight or the desire to shop for you, go get ya something nice. Now I love gift cards, I give them all the time, their perfect for the giver and you have the illusion that the person will get something they will actually enjoy. Truthfully, in our go-go-go, self-centered society, we forget that you can shop throughout the year for presents, not just 12/19-12/24. We forget it's not about the gift, but the thought that counts, the thought put into the gift. I mean we might as well just give each other cash and be done with it. Here's what to watch out for when you do get those gift cards this year courtesy of CNN.
Matching Christmas Sweaters - now see this was a nice, normal, American family at one time. And then someone got the bright idea that they should take a "cute" picture, all wearing the same sweater and that's when it all went downhill. This is just sad, do we not know you're a family? And were those the best sweaters you could find, really? Plus, where is little Rosco's sweater, see if you had committed to the dog as well, I would have said, yes! There's a crazy family I can support. This is just lame and makes me cringe to think about the "letter" on the reverse telling us all about the crap you did this year that we don't care about...
Wacky Pajamas - along the same vein as the Christmas Sweater, which should only be worn as a joke or by people from Wisconsin, the "wacky pajama" gift needs to stop. Guess what, kids don't like the pajamas that make them look like huge stuffed animals, the only people who do are plushees... wow... Also, matching pajamas for the whole family, lame, get over yourselves, seriously. And this dude to the left, he needs a courtesy punch in the gut, that's ridiculous. Though I do enjoy some footie pajamas, I don't want "Vegas & Cards"...
Peanut Brittle, Popcorn Tins and Store bought Homemade Cookies - NO! NO!... I said NO! Nothing says I hate you and didn't want to get you a real gift more than manufactured food. Peanut Brittle should be served in a 2x2 inch square so you can remember what it tastes like and not have a pound left over for the next three monts, slowy turning into one, large, mound of goo. Flippin store bought, bake at home cookies are the worst, it's like you're trying to trick me into thinking you made cookies, ridiculous. Either make cookies from scratch or don't bring me cookies. Just bring me the $2.35 wrapped in a $50 bill and call it even. Don't insult my intellegence or my health with these prefab, -icerins laced delicacies. And finally, the "triple-delight tin of popcorn". Hey, I'm so lazy, I can't even pop popcorn so I went out and bought this ugly tin full of stale popcorn (at the checkout) that you will force down over the next two months while watching the DVDs you got from your other friends who care and whence you are finished you'll try to throw the tin away, but will keep it thinking you'll use it for something. DO NOT BUY THESE ITEMS, THEY ARE NOT PRESENTS, THE ARE TRAPS SET BY RETAILERS TO THINK YOU'VE FOUND A PERFECT LAST MINUTE GIFT. [sigh] I know some of you will go out and buy them anyway...
Socks - again, this goes with underwear and under shirts. Thank you, yes, I could use some new socks, thank you. Wait, that's it? Really? So everytime I wear these three pairs of non-descript black socks I should think of our friendship? I'll do that... don't get me started on the underwear. Think about it, would you really like to get socks and underwear for Christmas and that's it? Well, it takes all kinds I guess...
You can always get me some business socks though.
Well, that's all I got, I had this wonderful post with links and funniness and stuff and then I lost it by not saving when I thought I saved on here and frankly, I can't go through another 5 hours of posting and looking up links. I'm pretty sure if you google any of this you'll find everywhere I got stuff from.
Confidentially tired and wishing for business socks, Mr. Ricky.
email me at caconfidential@gmail.com if you have things you want covered confidentially.
Monday, December 11, 2006 - 10:16:02
Called up to the Big Show...
I'm sure someone has blogged this, but just incase, I was flipping through channels the other day and low and behold, what, or rather, who did I see co-anchoring on CNN? Former weekend anchorman and reporter for KTHV Channel 11, T.J. Holmes.
Here's a link to the CNN bio quip on Holmes, who joined the new network based in Atlanta somtime around September to do anchor work after a stint in San Francisco. Good for T.J.
More importantly, did I scoop YGA?
Reporting Confidentially, I'm Mr. Rickey, for CAC
* Heartache?, Holiday Blues?, Don't know what to get your Step-Grandfather for Christmas?, email me for advice and witty bantor at caconfidential@gmail.com or leave a comment.
Friday, December 08, 2006 - 16:17:26
Tis the season for Theater!
Pagans on Bobsleds XV: The Snowman Cometh!
Easy Street Cabaret
307 W 7th Streetr, downtown Little Rock
December 11-16 at 8:00PM
501-372-3530 for more information
Everyone's favorite Cephalopodan Sketch Comedy Troupe is celebrating fifteen years of Holiday Funniness with it’s new show at the Easy Street Cabaret Room. Red Octopus continues with long time holiday favorites like Mr. Santa and promises to keep everyone jolly as old St. Nick. Adult language, situations, subject matter and just about everything else.
"An American Daughter"
By Wendy Wasserstein
December 1 - 2, 8-9, 15-16, 2006
Performances at 7:30 PM
Weekend Theater, Chester and 7th St.
Described as a political comedy, a Jewish feminist play, and a smart-talking living-room family play, An American Daughter tells the story of Lyssa Dent Hughes, daughter of a conservative senator, great-great-granddaughter of a president and nominee for the position of Surgeon General, who, through a miscalculation and its subsequent media exposure, finds her political, social and family lives beginning to unravel. An American Daughter tackles many concerns these amazing women of Wasserstein's generation must face including the slings and arrows of intense personal scrutiny not given to their male counterparts. Finally, this drama exposes that soft underbelly of American political life, its media awareness and its consequent confusion of public opinion polls with democracy. Directed by Duane Jackson.
Tickets: $14.00/adults, $10.00/students and seniors.
For reservations and additional information, call 501-374-3761 or
visit: http://weekendtheater.org / www.myspace.com/theweekendtheater
Arkansas Children's Theater
November 24- December 17, 2006
Performance times: Fridays 7:00 pm; Saturdays 3:00 pm; Sundays 2:00 pm Adult $14, Children $11, Groups of 10 or more $10
Winner of the 2003 Tony® Award for Best Regional Theatre
Based on the Newbery and Caldecott Honor children’s books by Arnold Lobel
Directed by Scott Ferguson, creator of Schoolhouse Rock Live
Music by Robert Reale
Lyrics by Willie Reale, Illustration by David Hohn
Frog and Toad couldn’t be more different, but that doesn’t matter because they are the best of friends. The story follows the adventures of Frog and Toad as they wake from a long winter hibernation and spring upon a fun-filled year of singing, dancing, and adventure. Frog and Toad, along with their forest friends, bring life into this tale of friendship with hilarious and heart-warming songs using jazzy 40’s style music. Then, when the cold rolls round once again, they celebrate a peaceful Christmas Eve by the fire and settle in for another long winter’s nap filled with dreams of cookies and kites and, of course, best friends.
Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Based on the book by Barbara Robinson
Benton Royal Players
211 Market Street, in downtown Benton, AR.
November 30-December 3 & December 7-10
The Best Christmas Pageant Ever focuses on the poorly-behaved children of the Herdman family, who discover the true meaning of Christmas through participation in a church play about the birth of Jesus.
To make reservations call 501-315-LIVE(5423) or
E-Mail to tickets@royalplayers.com
(Include your name, the number of reservations you wish to make, and your phone number. The theater will contact you to confirm your reservations.)
Here Lies Jeremy Troy
By: Jack Sharkey
Murry's Dinner Playhouse
NOVEMBER 21 – DECEMBER 31
Author Jack Sharkey is one of America’s funniest and prolific writers. The more Jeremy Troy strays from the truth, and the more trouble he makes for himself, the more you’ll be laughing at this comedy of love, lies and misunderstanding. The perfect gift-wrapped holiday party for everyone, and that’s no lie! http://www.murrysdinnerplayhouse.com/tickets.asp
For information on shows, tickets, parties and other services, call (501) 562-3131.
ImprovLittleRock
Public Theater, 616 Center Street, Downtown Little Rock
Dec 02 - 10:00P MICETRO: Improv Battle Royale!
Dec 03 - 7:00P THEATRESPORTZ
Dec 16 - 10:00P reQuest 20/90
Dec 17 - 7:00P The Best X-Mas Pageant Ever
Little Rock's only functioning improv troupe (if you know of another let me know) has four differently themed shows coming up in the next few weeks. Try to take in at least one of them, funny funny funny.
Tickets are usually around $5-$10
For more information, call 375-7529
"Romeo and Juliet."
NOV. 30-DEC. 1, DEC. 3
A modern spin on the Shakespeare classic, with setting in the 1920s.
Presented by Episcopal Collegiate School Theater Department
7:30 p.m. Thu.-Fri., 3 p.m. Sun., school auditorium.
$5 adults, $3 students. 372-1194.
The King and I
The Arkansas Repertory Theater
Set against the lush backdrop of Bangkok in the mid-1800s, The King and I is one of Rodgers and Hammerstein’s most enchanting love stories. Cultures clash when Anna, a young English widow, is hired by the willful king of Siam to tutor his many children in Western ways. The show’s memorable songs include I Whistle a Happy Tune, Getting to Know You, Shall We Dance, Hello Young Lovers, Something Wonderful and more.
Performances are 7 p.m. Wednesdays through Sundays and 2 p.m. Sundays, Dec. 1-31, with additional public evening performances Dec. 19 and Dec. 26 at 7 p.m.
Additional public matinee performances are Dec. 2, Dec. 20, Dec. 21, Dec. 23, Dec. 27 and Dec. 30 at 1 p.m.
There are no evening performances Christmas Eve or New Year’s Eve. A special sneak preview performance Thursday, Nov. 30, includes a pre-show discussion with the director at 6:15 p.m. Opening Night, Friday, Dec. 1, includes a post-show reception with the cast in the lobby. The Dec. 6 performance is sign-interpreted for the hearing impaired.
Tickets are $50 for orchestra seating, $40 for first mezzanine seating and $30 for second mezzanine seating and may be purchased by calling the box office at 501-378-0405 or 1-866-6-THEREP or online at www.therep.org.
Forbidden Fruits
So this friend of mine is totally in love with this woman, who is in a long term relationship with someone else who she loves, etc. and he is still holding out hope that she'll come to her senses and fall for him instead.
What do I tell him: "Don't be trashy, that's trashy, you're above trashy." Because intentionally breaking couples up to get a person you think will love you back is insane. If they wanted you, they wouldn't be dating that other person, hello. And I refuse to interpret anymore innocent messages, "What do you think, "see you tonight at Dan's house means?" That we are all going over there tonight for a party to which she'll be bringing her boyfriend of five years... no it is not an invitation for a tryst...
People, for real, don't be trashy and don't go after what is already taken, there are plenty of fish in the sea, so bait up and go fishing, don't steal off someone else's stringer...
Confidentially, don't be a coveter, Mr. Ricky.
Relationship question, rant on the local scene, want to know if Wally Waller's teeth are added in post production, ask Mr. Ricky at Central Arkansas Confidential....
Tuesday, December 05, 2006 - 15:08:23
Every College Student Should Read This!
While paroosing the Ninjapoodles blog, the one off the Times blog page, I stumbled across this little nugget, ten years too late, but if you have someone in college, boarding school, male and single, this is a top 10 thing to have knowledge of:
KRAFT MAC AND CHEESE MADE WITHOUT DRAINING!
From Ninjapoodles: Kraft macaroni & cheese (that's "Kraft Dinner" for my Canadian friends, and speaking of "Kraft Dinner," if you're searching online for meal ideas incorporating Kraft mac & cheese mix, search under "Kraft Dinner" on Canadian sites, and you'll have MUCH better luck. For instance, did you know that there is a preparation method for cooking this stuff all at once, without having to cook the noodles, drain them, and then adding the cheese mix and milk? If you're American, probably not, because it's certainly NOT ON THE BOX here
Oh the time this would have saved me, it would have added up to at least a few months... more secrets from our neighbor too the North....
More later, confidentially trying this when I get home, Mr. Ricky.
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