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Thursday, April 26, 2007 - 14:35:05
Bertrand who????
So Little Rock, apparently another Kaufman-Hart Prize Winning new COMEDY , Bertrand Priest is up and running at the REP, see the Times story on it, and audiences are not very forthcoming. Running well under normal ticket sales, one has to wonder where all the "theater" folk are when local theaters aren't doing stale productions of Annie, A Christmas Carol or Our Town. Your children don't need to be in a show for you to go see it, be an adult, go out without them once in awhile. For the love of all that is live entertainment, get off your butt and go see something that doesn't have "extended scenes" or "director's commentary". I can understand Bible belters getting offended during a sex scene in Angels in America or something, but they do realize it's a play right? There's obviously somekind of artistic expression or bigger message to it, it's not... I don't know....the Chippendales or Thunder from Down Under [which I'm sure will sell out, filled with tons of church going ladies who don't even know the way to the Rep, sigh...]
And if low attendance for a show that has won the most valuable of all playwriting awards in the nation, an award that should be considered a jewel in the Little Rock and Arkansas cultural crowns, isn't enough, people are walking out, "offended", by some of the language.....[sigh]....really? Seriously, this is how it's going to be? Are we going to continue to be a society that doesn't separate vulgarity from art? So there are four letter words in the show, I don't think there's anything worse than what will be in Die Hard 4.0: Die Hard or Die or whatever they're calling it, but I'm sure people will turn out in droves to that. The language isn't any worse than what you hear in the little league ball park stands from parents, at a Razorback game from Hog Fans or at your local watering hole. Maybe it's the intimate setting of a theater, maybe the fact you're not wildly drunk on booze, Hog sports or your 7 yr. old's playing time, I don't know, but people love to make a big deal about walking out of a theater. It's some words that are part of a larger narrative, you will not go to hell for watching a play, you may feel like you are there during the performance, but you will not be damned for all eternity.
People, love it or hate it, the Arkansas Repertory Theater is a nationally recognized live, professional theater, that with a little more public support, [and I don't mean people who write big checks that the write off on their taxes, though that helps and you should spread some of that cheese around to the other strugglin theater groups in town, I mean the general, working stiff public, that once only had live theater to look forward to and now need to put their behinds in the seats.] No matter if you are a postal worker, a crane operator, a doctor or a barrista at Starbucks, live theater and the cultural and social experience it creates should be part of your life throughout the year. And yes, just like eating at a new restaurant, you aren't always going get exactly what you expected and sometimes you'll have to stop at Wendy's for a snack after, but at least you've tried something different and helped keep live, local, non-cookie cutter-mediocre-staged-national-tours at Robinson, productions in central-Arkansas alive.
Shame on all of us, Little Rock, for not supporting creativity, diversity and a national honor in our own backyard. Word around the campfire is the award is probably on the way out due to lack of response to the productions of the show....shame....shame....shame....and yes, I have reservations to see it and I don't plan to walk out when language you hear on The Shield and MTV's The Hills is used.....[shaking fist at all Central Arkansans]
* I say all of this without seeing the show. It may very well be a piece of crap, I doubt it, but it could be, I will report back on that. The point is, crap or not, without live theater there would be no movies, television, youtube, ShrekVIII, Will Ferrell, etc. So get out there and see some... I have got to start doing my theater POSTS, posts, posts! Look, I used the right word, not "blog" the whole thing is a blog, individual entries are "posts", I learning sen-sei....
LOCAL LIVE THEATERS: (off the top of my head, if I missed your favorite, caconfidential@gmail.com)
WWW.MYSPACE.COM/REDOCTOPUSTHEATER
http://www.maumelleplayers.org/tom_sawyer.htm
Friday, April 13, 2007 - 10:27:03
Confidentially, Blogging is addictive...
Well, I've found that I'm a much better reader than writer. Blogs are addictive. Not so much for what people say though some of my favorites Ninja Poodles (both versions of course), Blogography, Defective Yeti and This Fare City are filled with witty, insightful and intriguing missives on this big rock we all live on. No, it's the random information you pick up, the things other people hear about, find and then post links to and then boom, you've wasted the entire morning watching Voicemail on ABC.com, which is one of these new fangled "Webisode" shows the networks are toying with to drive traffic to their sites and test the waters of online shows [Holy F-ing Crap, new lady has a new ringer for her phone, a country song, that she neither knows the name of or the artist singing it, yet she is playing it for everyone who comes through the door! Shut it! I swear, I'm going to get a hold of her phone, put it on silent and lock the keys out with a random code I won't even know....and we're back] Now once I get the hang of one of the "aggregator sites" it's all over, I'll have no time to blog or do anything constructive.....
In other happenings with Mr. Ricktastic, I just made that up, nice, huh? I went to dinner with my parentals and my Grandmother for my Grandmother's 87th birhtday. Wow, 87, that's crazy, I can't imagine, that's almost three times my age and she's still rolling along (though as usual she said 'I just hope I can make it to 88...) Now, my parents, being devious and hateful when it comes to presents, got her socks, which she needed and wanted and are some sort of special old people socks that you can't find in Arkansas, whatever, it was a package of socks, of which my Grandmother was appreciative like anyone who gets socks on their birthday, but was secretly hoping for something fun and wonderful. And at the bottom of the sock present, forming the base, was the biggest box of Russell Stover Chocolates I think I have ever set my eyes on. Now we had just been talking through dinner about Grandmother's recent affliction with a "sweet tooth" and how this turn of events after 80+ years is going to 1) make her fat, which at 120lbs might not be that bad of an idea and 2) must be brought on because she (in her mind, not confirmed by any sort of medical professional and in that old timey terminology that only your Grandparents can throw out) has developed "Sugar" as in sugar diabetes or diabetes. She calls it "Sugar" or "The Sugar" and my parents then have to translate that into 21st Century for me. So here's my Grandmother, who already has her own Easter Basket of chocolate treats almost depleted (she asked for one, she got one, with exactly the same amount of candy as the great-grandkids) complaining about losing her girlish figure after 87years and developing life threatening "Sugar" [diabetes] that will surely cut her down before 88, and when she lays her eyes on that box of chocolates after carefully stacking the socks to oneside her face actually lit up like she was five and just got her [insert name of really cool 5 year-old toy here, I don't keep up with that set anymore]. It made me laugh and get giddy at how happy she was and we all had a good laugh over that. It's the simple things. She also got some pajamas she had her eye on at Kohl's and some John Wayne movies that she wanted, but doesn't like, she just watches them because she used to watch them with her second husband, who passed last year during 2006: Mr. Rickey's one funeral a month year, wooo, that was fun, and now she just does it out of habit and because she's a little lonely sometimes.
So after present opening, and why do old people always want to save the wrapping? I think it's because she grew up through the depression as a kid and she just naturally feels like there's a second use for evertying. Mind you, she has owned a dishwashing machine for over 40 years at her various residences, yet she, herself, has not once used one. There is some concern the one she currently has will spray water all over the kitchen if used since the gaskets are probably drided out. She's crazy and I love it! She says she's been the dishwasher her whole life, why change now and I can respect that. It took me my entire adolescence to get her to use the remote control for the television, baby steps. So during our sit down discussion last night, which I regretfully have few and far between of with her, I learned some new things that reminded me that old people may be old and not hip and have no idea what a blog is, but they can lay down some knowledge and throw some info at you that will blow your mind:
1. During the depression she went to school, worked in a button factory sorting out the bad ones and took care of her younger brother (who was killed in "The War", WWII, she doesn't consider anything since then to have been much of a skirmish.) She was like 10, when I was 10 I was doing well to brush my teeth and not leave my GI Joes on the stairs for Dad to step on.
2. She's been drinking coffee since she was 4, cause sometimes that's all they had, and she gave it up 3 months ago, COLD TURKEY, and is now strickly Green Tea and Sprite. COLD TURKEY! As I chug down cup two of the morning....
3. She has not once, once, used a computer for anything. She writes, with a pen and paper, "letters" and "calls" people on her phone just to chat....WHAT? No attachements, no texting.....
4. During the depression, for breakfast, they ate "Coffee Soup". Coffee Soup is made by ripping up some bread, adding some condensed milk, a little sugar and coffee in a bowl. I guess they didn't have Wheaties.
[Ahhhhh, new woman is the worst. Today's story: she left a bunch of chocolate on the table and her dog somehow got on the table and ate what amounts to about half a pound of chocolate. And she's just laughing and telling it like it's hysterical. They have not consulted a vet about the problem, the dog is still alive this morning, everyone pray. She's the worst, poor doggie. Yeah, maybe next you SHOULD put it up in the cabinet, that's why we have the opposable thumb you twit! The worst.]
5. Her late second husband[we're back on my Grandmother, not New Woman, who is the worst], from the same era, up until he died last year, ate, every night before bed, saltine crackers mushed up with milk.... read that again.....old people are weird y'all.
6. She makes her own cake frosting, that has to be cooked, or would if she still baked cakes, she has turned all baking duties over to my mother or my sister-in-law, but will offer to help (but she really can't) and will advise them (even though sometimes she shouldn't) about all the things they are doing wrong whilst making her recipes. I'm attempting her Three Apple Pie for the Fourth of July, she has promised to stick around long enough to see me actually make a pie crust from scratch.
7. My aunt sent her flowers, and they're nice, real nice. But Grandmother said, "They'll just die like everything else and I can't wear them, I can't eat them and that vase is just going to the Good Will when they're gone. I thought she was going to send candy." I love her.
8. She has not once driven a car, like myself, she prefers to be chauffered.
9. She has outlived almost everyone she grew up with and her friend Donna, who doesn't know her real age, is her closest contemporary, though she doesn't know Donna's real age either, they don't talk about that stuff.
10. When she gets on a roll she'll mix your name up with the thing she was telling you about, "Now chocolate, I'll tell you, I really love Rickey after my dinner." And it's a sign of her "old timers" coming on (she won't attempt pronouncing Altzheimers), but it's also adorable because it makes her laugh. And that gets lauging. You have to laugh at yourself, dear, or you'll make yourself cry.
11. She has had two toes, one on each foot removed, because it was either that or wear bigger shoes (this has been like 40 yrs. back when she was still wearing fashionable heels and junk). She says you don't need 10 toes, she's proof. Take that Janice Dickinson!
She's the best, I hope she sticks around as long as she wants to and then gets out of her quick and painless.
Well, off sentimental lane, I've got important work to do people, all of it concerning catching up on the Black Donnelly's!
Be good, confidentially, Mr. Rickey.
PS: LOST was good this week, but who didn't see that coming last week, hello, everyman for themself... but I think she'll come around.
PPS: Thank God You're Here, was okay, Kevin Neeland was a pro and had the show actors quaking in their boots, but I thought it was going to be much longer sketches and more structured, like people kept coming through the door, anyway, it doesn't look that hard to me, seriously, these are the best comics in the country, they should be cutting these things to shreds. They should allow some of the Second City kids on there.
Friday, April 06, 2007 - 09:22:16
This Just In...
Oh, this is why I love Arkansas. Yesterday, around noon time in the Benton/ Bryant metroplex, a Benton Police Officer, yet to be named, accidentally discharged his weapon while taking the kids to the river in the IHOP Men's restroom:
According to the businessman, who asked to remain anonymous, the restaurant employee asked the deputy what the noise was and the deputy allegedly replied, "The toilet seat fell, making the noise."
"And with that, (the deputy) proceeded to walk out of the restaurant," the businessman said. "He lied to the waitress on his way out the door, according to her." - More from the Benton Courier
I don't know how you manage to do this while sitting on the throne, but this guy is going to get some "razzying" at the station for awhile, nice, real nice...
Thursday, April 05, 2007 - 11:29:20
Trying to do my part, but it's not easy....
So people, or person, who knows who reads these things, Mr. Rickey, having just watched "An Inconvenient Truth" and trying to do my part to save Mother Earth before the coasts flood and we're all forced to live underground, eventually losing the use of our eyes, much like the Morlocks.
I tried to find out how I could recycle three color laser printer drums and two laserprinter cartridges for the good of us all.
Here's how it went down: 
First, I contacted the manufacturer, OKIData, whose customer service promptly emailed me back and said they no longer offer recycling on this printer's cartridges and drums as it was no longer in production. Now, I don't know how many of these printer's they sold, but let's say it's 500,000, it would seem to me that there would still be some money in recycling these and selling the toner to people who are still using them. I guess I'm wrong. Now, in Europe, of course, more and more electronics companies are required to recycle their products forever. I will be long dead when that finally becomes the norm in the States, but a guy can dream, right?
So, after striking out with the manufacturer, I looked on line for those companies that buy cartridges to recycle. You know the ones that send you that spam that says you can refill your cartridges for pennies on the dollar, blah, blah, blah. Well, as I looked around, none of them recycled this model either, and why? Because it's out of production, I guess, I don't know, I would think these guys would be interested in the OKIData leftovers. Again, no dice. However, on eBay there were several kits that would allow me to refurbish my own drums. Tempting. However, working for a huge company where things like recycling and innovation are frowned upon, I knew I wouldn't get very far with that plan.
Next, I google recylcing laser cartridges in Arkansas which leads me to The Keep Arkansas Beautiful Commission. Yes! Now we're getting somewhere. The website, with a picture of forme
r Arkansas First Lady, Janet Huckabee picking up trash, should be the end of the line for recycling in the Natural State, right? Wrong. Apparently the company they contract with to recycle things like printer cartridges does not recycle laser cartridges, only inkjet, thank you circa 1995.
People, a decent laser printer is probably, oh I don't know, $200 these days. Yes, toner cartridges are a lot more expensive, but they last a lot longer and you don't get the smudging, especially when you highlight things, it's worth the investment, let's all try to get away from inkjet, okay? We got away from the paper with the guide holes on the side, we can get away from inkjet.
So, getting nothing of use from the website, I went old school, and made a phone call to the Keep Arkansas Beautiful Commission. The receptionist didn't seem overly "pumped" about trying to keep the state beautiful and she referred me, almost immediately, to the website. First of all, that fricking chaps my hide. You know what, I called you, can you not have simple information on hand to answer simple questions when someone calls the number you put on the website for help?
- "I'm on the website right now, the company you contract this out to doesn't take laser cartridges, do you have any suggestions?"
- "No."
Great. After some prodding on my part, she agreed that maybe calling the Solid Waste Department, might get me somewhere. Tard, I'm glad she's getting paid to not be helpful. You would think they could find someone excited about recycling to answer the 
phone, some birkenstock wearing organic food vegan wearing tie-dye stereotype (this is the anger talking) who could be continually researching how and where to make a difference. Nope.
On to Pulaski County Solid Waste Department and beyond. 
First of all, on the page I went to, they listed a number for trash scheduling as the info. number....sigh....really?....okay....do you have that number?.....I can hold.....thanks......sigh...... Eventually I talked to someone at solid waste and they referred me to the website....really?...."I'm on the website, it doesn't say much about recycling printer cartridges.....I should call Waste Management, great I'll do that."
Waste Management - apparently does not manage printer cartridges, FYI.
Back to Solid Waste. She can't believe they don't recycle that stuff. She doesn't know what to tell me. Then I ask her about the electronics recycling program behind the PULASKI COUNTY JAIL off Roosevelt that is advertised on their webiste. (Who decided this was the best place for a recycling center? I guess they have free-ish labor though.)
"Oh yeah, maybe, I don't know, you'd have to call them." Okay, I'll play along, "Call who?"
She says THE JAIL! At this point, I had to, I had to... "So you think the Pulaski County Sheriff's office will know something about the recycling programs of the city of Little Rock?"
"Well, it is at the jail."
True, it is, goodbye. Hopefully she can get herself home at night. Uhhhhh, so I got back to the internet and I email all the big wigs at Solid Waste. I'm waiting on responses....waiting....still waiting....
Also, in an unrelated rant, the Pulaski County Assessor's website is an unholy mess. Not only are many of the forms and information out dated, the entire thing looks like a site I would put together if I were fifteen and just learning HTML. Why isn't there some standard or I don't know, an office that does just that, IT for the entire county and all it's offices. Instead, is each department making up their own policies and employing their own separate web team??????? Ahhhhh! It's going to be one of those days, I can tell. Oh, wait, apparently all the Pulaski County offices, at least Treasurer and Assessor are using some company to do their websites. This company is awful. They should be stopped. There's not a better option out there? Really? I bet their kid's myspace pages are designed better than this. Whatever, I'm washing my hands of you, I'll just make my own tax forms in Word and attach them. NO ONE HAS TYPEWRITERS ANYMORE, I CAN'T "TYPE or PRINT" THIS....
Confidentially pulling my hair out, Mr. Rickey......
FYI: I have no spellcheck, so I apologize.....
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