A Chick Called Mick

I was completely clueless about the kind of structure that kindergarteners need because older students are familiar with the rhythm of a school day.  It didn’t occur to me that these students were still learning how to follow a routine.  The regular classroom teacher planned the day out in 15 minute increments, but when I couldn’t think of 15 minutes worth of things to say about the day of the week (Tuesday) or the weather (cold with a light dusting of snow), we just blew through those parts and moved on to the next thing.  I’d lost control by 8:45, although I wouldn’t realize it for a few hours.  As I tried to teach them about the letter “L,” one girl needed to sharpen her pencil.  I told her to go ahead, which set off a chain reaction of pencil sharpening.  Someone else wanted a drink from the water fountain in the corner of the classroom.  Fine.  Another kid needed to use the bathroom, and since the class had a restroom as well, and I was dubious about the bladder control of a 5 year old, I agreed to that, too.  Then next thing I knew, 27 kids had scattered in 34 directions, and it was game over.  I’d lost control before lunch.  I was fuzzy on the discipline system, which involved color-coded bears, someone pulled the fire alarm at lunch, and I was basically taking evacuation cues from the cafeteria ladies.  That afternoon, they brought in a “special needs child,” but no one told me what his “special needs” were.  I was just told that I should keep one hand on him at all times.  Unsure how literally I should take that, I erred on the side of caution and followed the kid around with a light grip on his t-shirt for the rest of the day.  I finished around 3:30, and reported in with the office before leaving.

“How did it go?” one of the secretaries asked.  I think she was being kind because I’m pretty sure one good look at me told the story as well as I could.

“These people should be millionaires,” I said before politely telling them not to call me again.  I did a day in third grade a few weeks later that went considerably better.  I think with some practice, I could jet the hang of third grade, but there was enough work in high school to keep me busy.  I stuck to what I know.  I know how to talk to teenagers, and I think I’m pretty good at it.  I have no idea how to use a story about Larry the Lion to teach someone about the letter “L.”  I find that kind of teaching really incredible, and I am more than happy to wear a skirt and a construction paper crown as a sign of solidarity. 

I’ll try to dig up some pictures to post.  If nothing else, I’ll invest in some new batteries for my camera before Superhero Day, which is coming up soon.

UPDATE:  All right, Ben, here's your picture.  I was practicing my curtsey (curseying?), but I'm not sure I've got the hang of it yet.