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Friday, July 25, 2008 - 15:13:22
One Saturday in January of 2006 I met with my best friend Wes to solicit his candid, un-sugar-coated advice about my latest relationship. Perhaps what I truly sought was the approval and encouragement from a man whose opinion I respected. Wes and I have been close for 15 years, since I was 13, so he knows me quite well. In typically naïve schoolgirl fashion, I recounted to Wes every insignificant detail of my new relationship. You know, the "he said" and then "I said" details that generally no one beyond the folks involved cares about. Giddy, I elaborated with, "He is so perfect." Wes rolled his eyes and uttered the following statement, which will forever be remembered: "Don't you know your eyes adjust to the brightest light?" Through confusion, I asked for explanation. He continued: "When you turn off the light and find yourself blind in a dark room, only to find your eyes adjust minutes later and you're able to see? It's the reverse scenario." Essentially, he was warning me to beware of anything that burns unusually bright at the beginning, as the same fire generally burns out just as fast.
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I call boys. Always have. Even when my mom encouraged me not to, I called anyway. Still do. Not over and over, mind you, but if the desire to do so strikes, I call.
The difference between me and most girls who call boys, however, is that my calls tend to require a 1 plus an area code before the regular ol’ seven digits. In other words, they typically live out of state.
So when I’m with my friends, I refer to these boys by their location as well as their actual name. For instance, if I discuss Tyler, I have to quickly add “the Nashville drummer boyfriend" descriptor. Yeah, I know.
Perhaps this penchant for far-away significant others is by design. It enables me to keep my distance and allows them to keep my attention. I am a fickle gal. On the other hand, I feel you really get to
know someone when there is distance. It inserts vulnerability while removing the physical distractions.
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