If Wishes Were Kisses...We'd All Have Mono
Last Monday evening, my friend January and I joined my buddy Ryan and two of his buddies at a local Mexican restaurant in honor of Cinco de Mayo. Ryan has recently relocated back to Little Rock from Los Angeles, so the gathering was also in honor of his return. When presenting Ryan with 20 questions surrounding his return, I asked if he was working yet. This question reminded me of Ryan knowing my boss. Ryan noted “Small world,” while further stating, “his wife walked in on my first kiss. I was twelve years old and already terrified and then I get busted.” Ryan dove further into the story, noting another person, John, who was ironically my first kiss. I said, “No way!! John was my first kiss! I was eleven, nearly twelve!” Most of us found the story quite comical, however, one of Ryan’s friends was taken aback, “Eleven? Twelve? Who is kissing at eleven and twelve!?” I bit my tongue while January chimed in, “seems like a pretty normal age. I was 14.” Ryan’s other less appalled friend chimed in with, “Well I am 25 and I have a ten year old so I’ll let you deduct accordingly.” Priceless. I was disgusted by the very obvious disgust the one friend showed over adolescent kisses.
I recall my first kiss in vivid detail and I remember fondly. John and I had joined another couple at the theater to “watch” a movie, “The Adams Family.” I could point out where we sat. I was nervous, though anxious. He was nervous and anxious. I could not tell you one detail about the movie but I recall every detail of the kiss. It was innocent. I had met John at a church function weeks before and we continued to talk on the phone for hours and hours. We “dated” two months, a lifetime for twelve year olds. I don’t feel the slightest bit “fast” for kissing a boy at that age, in fact, I find it quite normal. My second kiss at age 13 was far sweeter. The desire to kiss him outweighed the desire to know what a kiss was like. He and I later dated as adults and we continue to be friends to this day.
To test the theory of normalcy, I’ve polled friends, family, and co-workers which includes a multitude of ages and men and women. While the majority have noted their ages to be between 11 and 16 at the time of their first kiss, a handful have relayed a much younger age, while a handful noted a much older age. No matter, majority rules. Most of those polled immediately followed their response related to age with the name of the person they first kissed. Women always responded with, “I was 15. John Doe.” Men, on the other hand, would with give their age only or their age and the girls first name, “I was 13. Ashley.” The few women that didn’t offer a name without asking were able to recall both the first and last name, while most men were able to offer a first name only. Interesting.
For most, the first kiss was just a kiss. Nothing more, nothing less.
So, when did a kiss become so offensive, vulgar, concerning? I remember games which encouraged kissing, “Spin the Bottle,” “Seven Minutes in Heaven,” and “Truth or Dare.” As kids, we created scenarios enabling innocent experimentation. “Seven Minutes in Heaven” was similar to “Spin the Bottle,” in which two random people selected by chance, we’re to spend seven minutes in a closet. Note, there was always an entourage of teenage friends on the other side of the closet door. I’d say six minutes and thirty seconds of the seven minutes were spent swapping muffled whispers versus spit. There was certainly nothing romantic about a random kiss in a random closet, however, it was an opportunity to kiss a crush or an opportunity to satiate a curiosity. Still, as adults, my crew of friends has been known to partake in an occasional game of “Truth or Dare,” typically encouraged with alcoholic beverage consumption. While 99% of the people playing select “Truth,” the 1% that chose “Dare,” can be guaranteed a random kiss. “Truth” has replaced the “Dare.” As young teenagers, the majority would almost always select “Dare” and we all know why.
Comments
well, I was 14 and in the 9th grade and Charlie (Mears) was in the eighth grade....good times! I was a nervous wreck though....I miss those days...Thanks for the reminder! :)
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May 11, 2009 02:02 PM
I went to Catholic school, and I was not of the rebellious Catholic-school girl variety. Things happened for us Catholic-school kids a little later than the average Joe or Jane. I have to admit, those that were kissing at 11 and 12 certainly had a reputation...well, a reputation for kissing. I think it all has to do with our environments and what we are taught is appropriate. Do I, as a grown woman, think it's loose for a twelve year-old girl to kiss? Probably not. Did I when I was twelve in 1990? Maybe. Ask me again when I have a 12 year old little girl :)
LAURYN: Oddly, I went to a Catholic private school for many years. Matter of fact, the boy I first kissed went to a Baptist private school. I knew a lot of kids who were doing a lot more than kissing at that age. Kisses were quite tame compared to some of the other activities going on. True in any school though, I am certain.
Posted by: Katherine | May 11, 2009 02:20 PM
Haha! You might be able to write a book with all the crazy stories I have. ;-p
LAURYN: Maybe YOU should write a collection of your wild nights. I'd read it.
Posted by: Ryan | May 11, 2009 02:42 PM
I shudda known you were taking a poll...LOL. Glad to know i'm in the norm....i don't always land there. But that's ok too. Good stuff. R.
LAURYN: The answers are always interesting. The unity among female responses versus the unity among male responses was most bizarre.
Posted by: Randi Smith | May 11, 2009 02:57 PM
Heath Nickelson. I think I was 12. Eight Wheels West. I believe it was an All Night Skate. In the back corner, just past the last "mushroom". Yep. We "went together" for a week I think, but the kiss(es) sure is a very special memory. I have no idea where he is now, but I sure would love to find him and see how he turned out. And just for the polling sake- I went to a private Lutheran School, and I think he went to Joe T. Robinson Middle School.
LAURYN: "Went together." I forgot about that one! Haha. And the skating rink. Lordy.
Posted by: Kate | May 11, 2009 06:05 PM
Bob says his first kiss was at 3 years old...(I shudder to think)...then he said...He was too young to remember. HA....NuT. My first kiss I was 12, it was a spin the bottle scenario and lasted a millisecond...i thought YUK...he had freckles and looked like Opie. The first reallllll kiss was in the 9th grade. I too was a Catholic school person who still played four square and dodge ball at RECESS in the 8th grade...so when I went to Public school in the 9th grade and Scotty Lyons kissed me....with a tongue....I socked him in the head as though he was out of his mind...what was he thinking???? Gross....and then I became the biggest nerd/zero for six months after that. People whispered behind my back that I had gave Scotty a concussion....WHAT WAS WRONG with ME...protected...and glad of it...I guess.
LAURYN: Nice mom!!
Posted by: Momster | May 11, 2009 09:12 PM
err first french kiss or first nonfrench kiss on the lips with a boy not related to you. Cause that would be 6.
LAURYN: I think you know...
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May 11, 2009 11:56 PM
heh fair enough Lauryn.
Well the six year old was my "boyfriend" was Steven and everyday we would give each other a peck on the lips when we got to school in the morning and at the end of school when we'd leave. We were like a married couple in a 50s sitcom.
the other first kiss was 8th grade at All Region Band clinic. err.. I had boys in my room past curfew. His name was Adam.. Okay I do remember his last name. He was from another school.
LAURYN: of COURE you do... but I wonder if Adam remembers your last name. We'll go with yes. :-)
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May 12, 2009 06:10 PM