A Damsel in Distress

Bumping this to the top because . . . well, because I can. To make it easily accessible for posting your award-winning captions!

That's right – YOU, A-T Bloggers, vote the winning caption for the pic below!

What do you win if your caption is voted the fave?

An heirloom brass and wood wall plaque in the shape of Arkansas, awarded by the Arkansas Times and, most importantly, ME.

For REALZ!

Like at all those Award Banquets in Soirée and Inviting Arkansas!

Only, with my etched-in-brass autograph! More fabulous it doesn’t get.

Suitable for hanging proudly on your wall to be stared at numbly by bewildered friends and family for generations to come.

Or auctioned on eBay.

Whatever.

Entry Rules? Simple.

1) Post your caption below (one caption per Screen Name) before midnight Nov. 4^th.  So give it your best shot.

2) Then VOTE for your favorite caption in a 24-hour window until midnight Nov. 5^th.

3) WINNER announced Nov. 6^th! (Plaque engraved in your Screen Name.)

4) PRIVACY POLICY? Announced Winner emails Max Brantley with shipping address and info so nobody else ever knows.

We’ve already got some great entries, but we’ve only just begun!

Can’t win if you’re not in!

Assessed value? Priceless!

(It’s the ONLY thing Norma Bates has ever given away for nothing.)

Just leaked from McCain campaign’s “Joe the Plumber” trial balloon photo shoot, this just sent me by McCain staffer. (Pays to have insider contacts, Hogs.)

McCain campaign’s abandoned this misguided “just plain folks” tack in light of embarrassing revelations that Toledo’s “Joe” Wurzelbacher is no plumber, not licensed, performs technically illegal contracting and plumbing work, lies about his taxes going up under an Obama administration, doesn’t pay his taxes anyway, and is a racist (“Obama tap dances like Sammy Davis, Jr.”) and general fuck-up from his past record prior to his Ohio reincarnation.

TOO perfect a Republican, apparently, for Prime Time ads.

Whilst I applaud McCain’s campaign decision NOT to further exploit “real” America’s secret bathroom practices, my mind boggles and reels with possible captions for this leaked photo.

So does yours.

I know you can do BETTER, A-T bloggers, and want YOUR captions whilst I hand-wash pantyhose from my Hofstra and New York debate trip.

The Bates family hopes you will share.