A Damsel in Distress

 Two recent scenarios have really twisted my Spanx.

1)     Publishing ALREADY public records of concealed weapons permit holders online, resulting in threats, and –

2)     Publishing ALREADY public records, online, of those who contributed over $100 to support California’s Proposition 8, which denies equality to same-sex Californians and also rescinds their previously-legal marriages, resulting in threats.

It’s not just the clickily-accessible online exposure that’s the common denominator: it’s that these groups don’t want their names, information and affiliations available AT ALL. To ANYBODY!

Why?

Because the subtext of both these contretemps (I didn’t graduate the Sorbonne for nothing) are all about patriarchal sex, power and control.

Penises, when you get right down to it.

Boys in the locker room grown into positions of power, and their athletic supporters of both sexes.

You can’t blame them. Nobody trying to pass for an “adult” in society and in the professions wants to be outed as an adolescent size-queen, but there ya go.

Nothing else explains the irrational uninformed passions these two issues arouse better than Freudian sexual frustration and desire.

So let’s just totally go Sigmund Schlomo Freud here. (I know. Jewish. Supposedly smaller penises than, say, your Africans. I mean, it’s never-ending and it’s ALL about the penises, Razorbabies.)

1)     “Their penises (especially if they’re darker than mine) are bigger with bigger bullets and you never know when one of them is going to whip it out in church or on the street and shoot me and my family. So I’m gonna buy a bigger more powerful one than theirs at the gun show and conceal it so I can whip it out on them anytime anyplace when they might whip it out on me and shoot them before they shoot me so there. Like in ‘Bad Day at Black Rock’ or whatever.”

“Only I don’t want anybody to know that’s how I think, so don’t tell.”

2)     “I don’t care so much about lesbians because they’re, you know, women and don’t have penises. But two men? Abomination! Men aren’t supposed to love each others’ penises and have lifelong commitments and raise children together and stuff. They’re supposed to be dominating each other with their clubs. It’s all in the Bible. So I don’t want ANY of these same-sexuals to have equal rights.

“Only I don’t want anybody to know that’s how I think, so don’t tell that I contributed $100,000 to Prop 8.”

THAT, Razorbabies, is why these peeps don’t want public exposure on Freedom of Information Act lists.

They’re afraid and infuriated that it makes them look juvenile, bigoted, fearful, hateful, backward and defensive to be publicly exposed. They’re afraid it will hurt their businesses. Hurt their standing in the community at large as opposed to their like-minded friends.

They’re right.

This has NOTHING to do with having weapons at home to defend against intruders, or weapons to hunt, etc.

Interesting, that it’s the Right Wing threatening Max for linking to already-public information? Interesting, that it’s the Right Wing threatening blogs for linking to already-public information regarding donors to Prop 8?

Not really. It’s the same old Right Wing juvenility.

All they have to offer is grade-school penis envy that’s derailed our economy (“My portfolio is bigger than yours!”), decimated lives here and abroad (“Shock and awe!”) and shredded America’s honor and reputation (unspeakable sexual humiliations at Gitmo).

In a nutshell, here’s ALL you need to know.

Mike and Janet Huckabee pack concealed weapons.

Mike and Ginger Beebe don’t.

Me? I’m just interested in that bulge in your pocket.