A Damsel in Distress: HUCKABEE HAIKU CONTEST! . . .

The inimitable Norma Bates

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HUCKABEE HAIKU CONTEST! . . .

“At last, the contest

Razorbabies die to win

Each Fall – hoarding nuts.”

Contest's OVER!

Capture Mike Huckabee in your own award-winning Huckabee Haiku!

Somewhere below is the Winner, Razorbabies!

The winner with the WOWiest Huckabee Haiku – adjudicated by the Arkansas Times’ crack Staff (plus an actual Judge!) – takes home the cherished “Norma Bates Plaque of Excellence” or whatever.

A-T Blogger CammackLife won the priceless rare-wood and brass plaque heirloom (personally signed by me) for last year’s “Caption This” contest – the only human being on the planet so honored!

Will it be YOU in 2009? Entries are closed!

“Huckabee Haiku” rules are simple. (If you don’t know how to create a Haiku, go here.)

Enter as often as you like! Tell your friends around the country! They can register on the blog for free, contribute their Haikus and vote too (early and often)!

Contest's OVER!

The A-T staff – plus actual Judge – will select the Top 5 haikus.

Then YOU, Razorbabies, will vote the Winner in early December!

I (left – candidly captured by Jason Masters on my way into Wal-Mart) will award your prize!

Yes, I personally contacted Mike (very very dear, very very old friend and former Baptist minister) to ask if he was down with the "Huckabee Haiku" contest.

He chortled.

"Sure! I just hope they don't crucify me or whatever."

That’s your cue, Razorbabies.

May the best Huckabee Haiku win!

__________________________

Posted by Norma Bates on November 9, 2009 12:13 PM | Permalink

Comments

OK, the pressure is on for me to win 2 in a row. Here is my first entry:

Smiling devil Huck
Money from the bended knee
The sky is falling.

Posted by: CammackLife | November 9, 2009 05:22 PM

Well, isn't this a kick in the pants...nice one, Cammack!

Here's my first stab at this haiku stuff.......

Fat? They say I am

Lap band surgery? Why, please

Fat? 0-Twelve looms large

Posted by: Sistertoldja | November 9, 2009 05:43 PM

Good one, Sister.

Hopefully, there will be more entries soon.

Posted by: CammackLife | November 9, 2009 07:06 PM

Oh Lord, jazzy's right, I HAVE to get these bifocals adjusted as soon as possible -- I first read Sister's Haiku (and upon rereading it is very nice, y'all two are quite talented) as having something to do with Huck's fruit of the looms.

some things even I don't wanna joke about! ;)

Posted by: tina | November 9, 2009 07:28 PM

My White House attempt?
Stepping stone to better dough
Show me the money.

Posted by: perrobravo | November 9, 2009 07:51 PM

A cold winter wind
blows in Iowa tonight.
Please pass the chicken.

Posted by: Arkansas Blogger | November 9, 2009 10:18 PM

God in his wisdom
Let me forsake him for cash.
Call me The Huckster.

Posted by: chalkdust | November 9, 2009 10:26 PM

Act of God indeed
Causes me to Hug-a-tree
From whense comes ill wind?

Posted by: pollen | November 10, 2009 08:23 AM

now y'all be kind -- I aint never written no poetry or haiku or Hai Karate before, so I cant complete wtih the likes of Cammack, Sister, and the rest of you-all. here is my first and possibly last entry:

Protein shakes, Huck says
All the while biding his time
Cheese dip, fried Snickers.

Posted by: tina | November 15, 2009 05:33 PM

I ask, "Sarah who?"
and play "Freebird" on my bass.
Fall of '12 is near.

Posted by: chalkdust | November 15, 2009 07:55 PM

WOW!

These are ALL incredible, Razorbabies! Even the Haiku newbies!

Funny, profound, evocative, provocative -- keep 'em coming! This year's contest will be REALLY hard on AT's crack staff -- who judge the final five --

-- and on YOU -- who decide the winner!

I'm sensing potential GREATNESS emerging, here, Razorbabies. A Haiku Hall of Fame achievement of which Arkansas can be proud!

__________

Sarah, we LOVE that you're here watching out for your dad and we love his sense of humor too.

Maybe -- on his NATIONAL TV SHOW -- he would relish READING ALOUD the winning Huckabee Haiku (to musical accompaniment) then presenting the plaque to the winning blogger (under the blogger's handle, natch)!

"Must see TV!" Sarah. Seriously. Pre-publicity? Priceless.

You've got great gut, Shuck. Go with it. Milk the moment.

Maybe a "Mike & Max" setup where The Brant first presents the plaque to The Huck on behalf of the AT (and, of course, me) -- THEN Huck reads the Haiku to dramatic musical backup -- THEN presents the award and congratulates the winning blogger!

"Mike Huckabee Awards Blogger 'Huckabee Haiku' Trophy!"

Seriously, Sarah. Feel the Love?

Any residual bad blood between your dad and our dad? POOF! Your dad's self-deprecating sense of humor and warm respect for those who may not agree with him 100%? ZOWIE! Ratings? THROUGH THE ROOF!

YouTube views? 2.8 MILLION!

SWEET! Your dad becomes the GOP's William Shatner!

__________

We've got just two more weeks, Sarah, for bloggers to post as many best efforts as they like. SO FAR they're GREAT!

Only ONE Haiku will attain immortality.

I know your dad. In his heart, he'd want to be a part.

YOU can make it happen.

Posted by: NormaBates | November 16, 2009 12:21 AM

WBW isn't a member of the A-T blog, but asked me to submit her entry (I think it's really good..but I'm partial).

Governor, I was
Give me a higher calling!
Talk show host, I am

Posted by: Sistertoldja | November 17, 2009 10:53 PM

Hucks future, I see
winter vows you will not take.
be silent, be gone

Posted by: flyonthewall | November 18, 2009 08:48 AM

big fish little pond
a dead fish goes with the flow
fox talk PAC team gold

Posted by: bejeeus | November 18, 2009 11:09 AM

Preaching for money
Caricature of Jesus
Wonder how he sleeps

Posted by: Perplexed | November 19, 2009 03:46 AM

Lemme try again...

In the wilderness
A voice seeks respect, reminds: Chuck Norris likes him

Posted by: perrobravo | November 22, 2009 03:08 PM

Oops, didn't hit enter. Let's try that again-

In the wilderness
A voice seeks respect, reminds:
Chuck Norris likes him

Posted by: perrobravo | November 22, 2009 03:10 PM

Huckabee. Palin.
Our future is truly a
Word that rhymes with Hucked

Posted by: CammackLife | November 22, 2009 04:00 PM

God called me to preach
But He'd rather me be rich
I put my time in

Posted by: perrobravo | November 22, 2009 05:56 PM

Turkey Day survivor
Velveeta and bad writing
Fox with Huckabuck

Posted by: Larry | November 27, 2009 08:58 AM

This is fun. My last one, I noticed, was a little derivative of chalkdust's superior earlier entry, so here's another.

Bill Clinton made it
I'm another man from Hope
Version two point oh

Posted by: perrobravo | November 27, 2009 11:13 AM

Bro-Gov ties stomach.
Gives up knife and fork, Rotel.
Digs grave with Fox News.

Posted by: cruelanimal | November 27, 2009 02:19 PM

Christianity
And Huck dont seem to agree
That's why "Jesus wept"

Posted by: Silver Bells | November 27, 2009 03:42 PM

Dark and stormy night
TV face money calling
Electric flicker.

Posted by: Zatharus | November 27, 2009 06:24 PM

Enter the Huckster
Mighty Norris contemplates
Laughing wind crying.

Posted by: Zatharus | November 27, 2009 06:25 PM

Wide body no more
Falls first crisp air stimulates
Appetites return.

Posted by: Zatharus | November 27, 2009 06:35 PM

So much depends on
A red state audience, glazed
doughnuts, fried chicken

Apologies to William Carlos Williams.

Posted by: perrobravo | November 27, 2009 06:39 PM

Happy Thanksgiving
Sleepy belly holiday
Ark Times Blog haiku.

Posted by: Zatharus | November 27, 2009 06:40 PM

Huck's new book's title
Offends all Jews and Muslims
"A Simple Christmas"

Posted by: Silver Bells | November 27, 2009 11:19 PM

Reach out upward palm
Check waistline for stigmata
One more Autumn run

Posted by: hugh mann | November 28, 2009 10:48 AM

NO GAY MARRIAGES!
Huck sanctions other unions
Hello, Church! Meet State!

Posted by: Silver Bells | November 28, 2009 05:10 PM

He is everyman
Makes you want to share a drink
Kinda like George Bush

Posted by: perrobravo | November 28, 2009 06:13 PM

Got a cee-ment pond
Take your shoes off, sit a spell
Y'all come back now, hear?

Posted by: perrobravo | November 28, 2009 06:20 PM

I gave clemency
MY judgment was best for all
Blood is on my hands

Posted by: Sistertoldja | November 29, 2009 08:54 PM

Huck has much to say
Jethrine is strangely silent
Have some nice Kool-Aid.

Posted by: tina | November 30, 2009 04:23 PM

Maurice and Wayne all news
Remembrance of Times Past
Huck didn't do nothing

Posted by: eLwood | November 30, 2009 06:28 PM

PAC infested rat
The fat did your brain become
Please oh please, spare us

Posted by: BentonChick | November 30, 2009 08:34 PM

Questions being asked
Killers released on my watch
I need a fart joke

Posted by: perrobravo | November 30, 2009 10:15 PM

My entry #1

Fat Huckabee Lose
In losing he cut fat hog
But Janet no Fox

Posted by: Sanford | November 30, 2009 10:53 PM

My second and final entry.

Forgiveness divine
God at fault, pardons not mine
Like my bass, I'm plucked

Posted by: Sanford | November 30, 2009 10:57 PM

Huckabee Haiku's Had It!

Yes, Razorbabies, the contest is over and one of your Haikus above is THE WINNER!

Stay tuned!

Posted by: NormaBates | December 1, 2009 12:17 AM

A Damsel in Distress

The inimitable Norma Bates

HUCKABEE HAIKU CONTEST! . . .

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