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UPDATE II: It's increasingly possible 'The Love Guru' will suck



UPDATE II: Phil responds! In great, great detail. Here's the main idea:

"[A] man goes to the movies and in the end the only question about a film like this one is: Is it funny? And I laughed. So it passes. Other people didn't, and I get that."

Then there are 1,000 more words. Some of which chide me for saying that an 85 is probably the highest score he's given anything since "No Country for Old Men." In fact, he's given like 20 higher scores since December. He includes a partial list. (Dude, an 87 for "Golden Compass"?) Others wonder why we didn't review the movie (We're running a review in this week's paper. Our deadline is noon on Tuesday, so obviously, we can't make Tuesday night advance screenings). And why I didn't see the movie before blogging (I'm waiting for a sleep-deprived 2 a.m. showing on HBO).

See the comment essay below.

UPDATE
: So critics continue to pile it on—A.O. Scott, writing in the New York Times, says, "'The Love Guru' is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again." But, ever the maverick, the Dem-Gaz's chief film critic Philip Martin scores it an 85, which might be the highest score he's given anything since "No Country For Old Men." The review itself is fairly tepid, but you have to read pretty far to get that. So: the nation's critics, on average, give it a 22 vs. Martin, who ranks it just 15 points from perfection. Wonder if Arkansas connections factor in?

EARLIER: As Vulture reports, "The Love Guru," the new Mike Myers comedy, co-penned by Conway's Graham Gordy, is getting abysmally bad reviews. Even lover-of- monumentally-bad-movies Harry Knowles hates it. It's at 11 percent on Rotten Tomatoes and a 24 on Metacritic.

Says Knowles in, "If Shit Got THE LOVE GURU On It, Shit Would Wipe It Off!" Mike Myers "puts a shotgun in the mouth of comedy and kills it."

Elsewhere:
  • "It's essentially unsuitable for even mildly discerning viewers of any age." NPR.
  • "Mostly it’s dreary dick jokes and elephant poop..." Village Voice
  • After the "Austin Powers" trilogy..."Love Guru" is a regressive step in the extreme. Hollywood Reporter.
There are some funny moments in "War Eagle." Let's all blame Mike Myers.

Did anyone go to the screening last night?

Comments

Love guru is trying to make a fun of Hindu traditions. In a civilized society we can enjoy freedom of expression but it should be exercised with sense of responsibility.

You don't need to use a religion to be funny... You have a lot of topics to make a good joke.. why explore something so delicate?

dang. the previews looked terrible but the parts I saw on Inside the Actor's Studio really impressed me.

But did you confront Gordy about this turd in your interview? You had to have heard the buzz.

Did he comment on Myers insanity? Check out the article in the recent EW. Or his insane appearance on Inside with nutbag Lipton.

Marin ALWAYS gives a huge pass to any Arkansas related film. I don't know why except that he probably likes to run in those circles. Not on his blog, he calls Gordy his friend, but in today's DOG he says they only recently met. Possible, I suppose but it seems, well, typical.

Hell, even War Eagle was only decent. Smaltzy hallmark like. But there were some cute jokes. Credit Gordy.

The question becomes, does Gordy get branded as a Myers-ish hack or can he write his way out of this?

"But, ever the maverick, the Dem-Gaz's chief film critic Philip Martin scores it an 85, which might be the highest score he's given anything since "No Country For Old Men." The review itself is fairly tepid, but you have to read pretty far to get that."

Really? I thought it was pretty clear from the first word that TLG was a lowbrow, vulgar extended SNL skit aimed at 14 year old boys.

But a man goes to the movies and in the end the only question about a film like this one is: Is it funny? And I laughed. So it passes. Other people didn't, and I get that. Some people thought Shotgun Stories was slow and full of stereotypes too. I got an email from a grandfather who wanted to shoot me because I thought the latest Indiana Jones movie was boring. People respond differently to different movies.

For my money the verdict is always the least interesting part of the review -- and anyone has read more than a few of my reviews and columns might understand that the "grades" are a contrivance in which I'm not fully invested. The way I look at it is that and 84 or an 85 can go either way, Rotten Tomatoes wise ("fresh" or "rotten") -- those re the lowest grades I'll give to a film that I think "passes." But I don't pretend the scale is immutable or that any given grade is the authoritative last word. To stretch the analogy, it's easier to get an 85 in sixth-grade health than it is in calculus. You measure a movie by how well it succeeds at what it aspires to do.

The only real mistake a reviewer can make is to misrepresent his or her own experience. It would be wrong to suggest a movie is something it isn't. I don't think I did that and I'm slightly disappointed by the disingenuous nature of the original post: I notice no one from the Times reviewed the movie, and apparently you haven't seen it yet. It could be suggested that the reason the Times avoided reviewing the film was because you suspected it would suck and didn't want to be put in a position where you might have to say bad things about a movie that has some Arkansas connections. I don't believe that's the case -- I'm plenty aware of the problems inherent in trying to produce a weekly publication of quality with limited resources and I assume that people were too busy and deadlines too tight to allow someone to get to one of the screenings. We can turn around a Tuesday night screening for Friday but it's probably a lot harder for you guys to get it turned around by -- what? Wednesday morning?

Still, I wish you'd reserve comment until you've seen the film -- or having decided not to see the film (a perfectly rational decision) you'd at least have done a little fact checking. For instance, here's a partial list of films I've reviewed and scored 85 or higher since No Country For Old Men opened last December:


Son of Rambow - 87
The Visitor - 91
Taxi to the Dark Side- 91
Redbelt - 88
Iron Man -90
The Counterfeiters -90
Snow Angels - 90
Paranoid Park -85
The Band's Visit -90
4 Months, 3 Weeks, and 2 Days
City of Men -88
Miss Pettigrew Lives for a Day -88
There Will be Blood - 91
The Savages - 90
Diving Bell and the Butterfly - 91
The Kite Runner -88
The Bucket List - 85
Juno- 90
I'm Not There -93
The Water Horse - 91
Margot at the Wedding - 88
Charlie Wilson's War - 87
Sweeney Todd - 90
Shotgun Stories - 92
The Golden Compass -87
Michael Clayton -86
Before the Devil Knows You're Dead - 91


Looking over that range, I'm bnot uncomfortable with TLG being "awarded" an 85. Could I have graded it more harshly? Sure. It's entirely subjective. But I have a soft spot for this kind of anarchic, messy movie. And I did like some of the textures, the music and the fact that the film wasn't especially cruel.

But to suggest I gave TLG one of the highest grades of the year so far is simply wrong.

I stand by my review, though I wish I'd written it better. I wish I'd had more time to write it better. But I think it's fair, both to the movie and the potential audience for that movie. By your lights it sucks, because a lot of critics hated it. OK. But I didn't. But I didn't think it was a great movie either. I just tried to make some interesting points about the film.


"So: the nation's critics, on average, give it a 22 vs. Martin, who ranks it just 15 points from perfection. Wonder if Arkansas connections factor in?"

I'm sure they did -- that's part of the reason people here may be more interested in this film than some others. Factors like this always impinge ... certainly we wouldn't have run a interview with Graham Gordy had there not been a local connection. I seriously doubt we'd have had an opportunity to screen and review the film without the local connection.

As for the strangepup reference to Graham Gordy as "my friend," well, that's just a sheepish way of admitting that it's possible I'm biased, a little feint toward transparency. While I'm particularly interested in letting people know about my personal life -- it's not the point and it's fairly boring -- but if I'm writing about someone I occasionally see socially I feel better if I don't try to pretend I don't know them. Gordy and I have had a few conversations, we've been to lunch and we're playing golf in a week or two. That make him a "friend?" I don't know, but when I put the bit up (which was before I saw the movie) I thought it best to let people know it was a bit of logrolling. Pygface thinks I'm cozying up, but I look at it as cluing people in. This is way to small a market to pretend that we don't sometimes interact with people we write about.

Honestly, I didn't think much about the blog mention. Like I didn't think much about the grade I assigned the movie. You want say I was too easy, that it should have been a 78? Fine. Fair comment.

You want to speculate about my intellectual honesty? That's fair too -- but don't mislead people. I've spent a lot of column inches (too many they tell me) explaining how the grades are primarily for people who don't read the reviews, and that in a perfect world I'd do away with them.

If I'm doing this right, then you can find a very good review of The Love Guru by clicking on my name. (If not, google Mick LaSalle and check out his rview of TLG). He doesn't love the movie either, but he makes a lot of cogent comments about how and why it may be interesting to some people.

I took Mike Myers off my list of acceptable viewing when he drank the shit milkshake in one of the unfunny Austin Powers excretions.

As I also posted on Rutherford's worthwhile and somewhat-hidden-away movie blog, 'll say this to Mr. Martin: You are without a doubt one pompous son-of-a-gun.
And I quote: "I'm plenty aware of the problems inherent in trying to produce a weekly publication of quality with limited resources and I assume that people were too busy and deadlines too tight to allow someone to get to one of the screenings ..."

You compare your alternative-weekly experiences at The Spectrum, or your Arizona version of the Spectrum, to that of the Arkansas Times? Maybe if you worked under an editor the likes of Brantley, who has no peer in this town, if not the region, we wouldn't be exposed regularly to your overwrought, laborious prose that passes for movie reviews, history lessons, told-you-so's on American culture and the like that you've partially gleaned from cohorts and others via the Internet. My god, man, self-edit yourself if nobody else is going to do it over there. Griffin Smith your benefactor aside, nobody wants to read 12 to 20 columns of preamble before you get to the point. Same with this response you've kindly offered here. You can write; yes, we know. On and on and on, which apparently in some eyes makes you "prolific" and even "well versed." Just in case we fail to realize how smart you are, you are certain to remind us.
Then, you take the Times to task for jumping on the daily rag when in fact the Little Rock daily rag makes such an easy target, from the funereal diatribes of "Weak Tea," to Frank Felonious' goofball assertions on what a paper should cover, to Greenberg's overall pompous pronouncements and his inconsistency, to your own lengthy exposes on whatever strikes your fancy.
But, alas, it is all we have for our daily dose of local-flair journalism, and pay the 50 cents a day (and more on Sunday) we must, and with nothing better to do as we sit crapping the morning away we find ourselves reading what latest dog droppings Eric Harrison has dived into and lapped up like a starving maggot and proclaimed the best food he's ever eaten, to you christening every movie maker or co-screenwriter who once called Arkansas home a genius with skills that would make Howard Koch envious.
The Democrat-Gazette feature section continually parades out the homer reviews, from movies to music to whomever's been nice to Jack Hill lately. Give 'em an A, it's damn good, and it's just a damn coincidence they grew up in Sardis or Bayou Meto and we like them so, so much.
By the way, the guy's name is LINDSEY (Millar), not Lindsay. But then, you're a writer and not an editor. I wish you possessed some self-editing skills, though, since no one will touch your wondrous flowing copy over there, and maybe that would make room for three or four more stories of substance, in turn making that daily 50-cent expense a tad more worthwhile.
Press on, oh great one.

Like I posted in an earlier thread, dumbest f*cking premise for a movie. Ever.

You're from Canada? We get it. You like hockey? We get it. You think your accents are funny? We get it. You have a creepy obsession with anything phallic, yeah- we get that too. Jessica Alba is hot? Wow. A hot actress in a movie. Groundbreaking.

The price of admission must require about 500,000 brain cells lost and gone forever. Minutes of your life you can never have back.

How do you go from writing the well-recieved "War Eagle, AR" to this dumbed-down pile of vomit on paper disguised as a "script" with "dialogue?" Really?

"(I'm waiting for a sleep-deprived 2 a.m. showing on HBO). "

Add liquor to the mix and I might be willing to watch TLG...you can just tell it is a rental from Netflix when the rest of your list is on a "long wait".

And really Martin, an 87 for Golden Compass? What were you thinking?

'How do you go from writing the well-recieved "War Eagle, AR" to this dumbed-down pile of vomit on paper disguised as a "script" with "dialogue?" Really?"

Knowing it's gonna pay off your mortgage, buy you a second home, and fund your kids college probably helps.

Martin gave it an 85 to get a Hollywood reach around from Gordy. Myers, and Martin. All insufferable. Rip off artists. Suck it all of three of you.

Pygface, please refrain from future use of your name. It is too close to gimmick infringement for my taste.

Regarding "The Love Guru," I liked it better the first time when it was called "The Guru" starring Heather Graham and Marisa Tomei.

oh how much nicer the world would be, if those who preach self-editing would also practice it.

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