Street Jazz

I was about the change the cat box when I reread Monday's editorial in the Northwest Arkansas Times, expressing some joy over the fact that Fourth Circuit Judge Mark Lindsay had thrown out claims in a lawsuit againt the UA, brought by John David Terry. Comrade Terry - wicked, wicked man! - had sued UA Chancellor John White and UA System President Alan Sugg because he believed they had done a less than adequate job of "investigating" the ugly email sent out by a friend of the Nutt family, castigating former quarterback Mitch Mustain.

I'm sorry - did anyone ever think that John White was actaully going to upset Nouston Nutt and Frank Broyles by playing Columbo? The very notion is enough to outrage some fans, who have gone so far as to  post Terry's address and phone number on websites, so that he can be "persuaded" not to attack our beloved coaches. Of course, it must all be the fault of those "haters from the north" - as Nutt's wife put in a letter to fans.

Very Nixonian.

There's not much I can to all of this - the Internet is full of Nutt defenders and Nutt "haters." They've said it all much better - and in some cases in a much more frenzied manner - than I can.

But it is at times like this that I miss my old friend Brian Bolton, a former UA professor who kept a keen eye on the Razorbacks, and noted how academics suffered while sports prospered. Over the years Brian wrote for a variety of publications - Grapevine, Ozark Gazette, the Spectrum, and countless letters to the editor in every newspaper that would print his letters. He self-published several books, including one lovely little book called "Razorbackism," which is a collection of many of his short pieces.

All proceeds from the small book (47 pages) went to the library on the Fayetteville campus, to help pay for books, magazines  and other resource materials. I wonder if the UA library even has a copy of this book? Does the Fayetteville library?

There is no copyright date, but looking through it, I think the book came out in the early 1990s. The observations that Brian made about how legislators are cowed by those in charge of the football program, and athletics versus academics are still potent reading, even today. Is our love of the Razorbacks akin to religious fervor? Brian certainly thought so.

Brian coined a word - Jockstrapology - which he claimed that everybody would know in the future. He may be wrong about that, but we all know what he meant.

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I'm feeling downright spoiled by all these presidential debates. I'm learning so many different ways to evade quations. If I ver run for office again, I'll be all set.

The Republicans want to impress us with how tough they are. I have no doubt they will soon discuss which torture techniques they would personally use on a terrorist. I'm just afraid that if these debates go on, they might demonstrate said technques on stage.

The Democrats, on the other hand, seem to all be reciting the Desiderata - also known as the Valium Prayer. Ms. Clinton claims that the differences between all the Dems running are "minor" - gee, that'll help a lot come Primary Day. Maybe I'll just toss a coin when I get my ballot.

I know that I'm cynical - would you have me any other way? - but I was watching something on CNN along the lines of Faith and Politics, where candidates were asked questions about their faith (they've all got it!) and how they would approach the important problems of the day.

Folks - nice people, by the looks of them - would stand up to ask a question and the audience would erupt with applause. And this was just applause for the question.

The candidate on stage would tell the crowd what they wanted to hear, and there would be even more applause.

I'm really not in the mood to applaud questions  or self-serving answers.

I'd really love the opportunity to applaud some results, though. And I'd kind of like to know why I shouldn't just toss a coin on Primary Day.

rsdrake@nwark.com