Arkansas Times

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Commentary from Northwest Arkansas

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Well, my neighbors are all heathens

Setting the scene: Tracy is in Dallas, and I’m relaxing, watching last week’s episode of Dexter, when a knock comes on the door. Naturally, the dogs - our very own Regiment of the Damned - begin a cacophony that could raise the dead.

I open the door to find two fresh-faced young men who tell me that they are from the Church of Latter Day Saints, and wonder if I have found Jesus Christ.

“Already found him,” I answer genially, as I begin to close the door.

But these two young men - who have a fine future as car salesmen ahead of them, I can already tell - aren’t about to let me get off so easily.

“What about your neighbors?” One makes the mistake of asking. “Would they benefit from our speaking to them?”

I laugh in encouragement. “Well, my neighbors are all heathens.”

I begin to close the door. “So you really can’t recommend anyone?” one persists, still holding out hope.

I laugh again. “My dogs need help, but that’s a whole other matter.”

It’s always odd how truly religious folk just don’t think that a “No Solicitation” sign really applies to them, isn’t it?

******

Quote of the Day

I see nothing wrong with giving Robert some legal experience as Attorney General before he goes out to practice law. - John F. Kennedy

rsdrake@nwark.com


Comments

LOL! My neighbors ARE actually all heathens and freaks! I feel right at home!


"..if I have found Jesus Christ.

"Already found him," I answer genially, as I begin to close the door. "

I know a guy who actually told them when asked the above question:

"Yea, he's here back in the bedroom jacking off."

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