What a Way to Start the Day | A Chick Called Mick

Thursday, May 14, 2009

What a Way to Start the Day

Posted By on Thu, May 14, 2009 at 10:12 PM

I've been running on fumes all week.  My best friend came into town this weekend and stayed through Wednesday morning, so we'd been staying up late catching up, sometimes over pomegranate martinis.  Wednesday afternoon, I should have come home and taken a nap, but instead, I changed and headed out to the Little Rock Film Festival.  I didn't make it in time to get into the movie, and could have gone home and taken a nap, done a quick workout, and gone to bed.  Instead, I drank a beer and read a book called Rapture Ready, which is about Christian pop culture.  I skipped getting caught up on sleep in order to learn about Christian stand up comedy and Christian wrestling. 

I don't exactly regret making that choice because the book is really interesting, but this morning, I drank as much coffee as I could stand, edging towards the early stages of caffeine poisoning where I buzz around like a hummingbird and start to think I can actually feel my hair growing before falling asleep on the nearest flat surface.  Still a little draggy, I went to work.

We hadn't been open long before a patron who'd checked out one of our laptops came to ask me how to log on to the machine.  I followed her back to the corner where she'd set up, pushed a few buttons, and up popped a picture of a smiling woman proudly showing off her vagina.

That woke me up more than another cup of coffee could have done.

I quickly pushed a few more buttons, minimizing the image before trying to figure out what was going on.  Did she set that situation up, like it might be funny to shock the librarian?  Was that meant to be funny?  I quickly realized from her reaction that she hadn't expected that either.  I pulled up another screen and whoever had used the computer last hadn't logged out of their email.  The image could have come from there.  I told the woman I'd get her a different computer.

I wasn't scandalized so much as I was caught off guard.  I wrote a paper on pornography in college (I'd been given other options, but the rest of them were so tedious and dry that I chose to go with erotica.)  Since then, I've read up on topics from modern day burlesque to the ins and outs of legalized brothels in Nevada.  I've even tried go-go dancing and strip aerobics workouts.  I'll give the woman in the picture this: It's not easy to sit up and smile while you simultaneously have your legs spread straight up in the air like that.  It takes a lot of core strength, and, frankly, my hamstrings are too tight to pull that off.

So, the picture shouldn't have happened, and we have systems that block explicit material, but it's hard to pull off perfectly.  Let's face it, people who want to see that kind of stuff are probably willing to put more time and energy into finding a way to do it than I can afford to put into preventing it.  So, we do our best, but every once in a while something may get through.

In fact, when I was at Florida State, I had to use the computer labs on campus for a few weeks because I'd spilled red wine in my laptop and had to get it repaired.  (It was my first and only glass of wine that night.  I'm just really clumsy, but that didn't stop the computer repair guy from giving me the fish eye when I explained what happened.  Meanwhile, he was a two finger typist who misspelled the word "keyboard," so I resent him being so quick to judge me.)

I was in a lab in university library's basement, staring off into space trying to think of something profound to say about Victorian literature, when suddenly I caught a glimpse of what the guy sitting one row ahead of me had on his screen.  I blinked and thought, "Is that a nipple?"  It was.  It struck me as weird, but it never occurred to me that he wasn't allowed to do it.  I never considered telling someone who worked at the library what I saw.

So, when I was strolling through an isolated part of the library several months later and noticed another guy looking at naked pictures on one of the school's desktops, I rolled my eyes and kept on walking.

Now, I know that there a policies about that type of thing, and I took the machine to our tech services person and told her what I'd found.  But suddenly, I was wide awake as I settled in to read some trade publications.

From the ArkTimes store

Favorite

Comments

Subscribe to this thread:

Add a comment

More by Ashley McKelvy

  • Can I have a Definition please?

    I meant to write this post days ago, but it's been one of those weeks where I just couldn't convince myself to do the things I should.  But I wanted to talk for just a minute about the Scripps-Howard Spelling Bee that was on TV this week.  The first thing I want to say is that I am an abysmal speller (and don't think I didn't get a little help on the spelling of 'abysmal.')*  When I lived in Austin, I applied for some jobs with UT, and they required a spelling test.  I took the test twice and never scored high enough to apply for a secretarial position with the school.  So, I was never a viable spelling bee candidate.  But there's a documentary about students participating in the National Spelling Bee called Spellbound that I am in love with.  I'm actually watching it as I type this.
    • May 31, 2009
  • Grillin' time

    My parents called this morning and wanted to come up for a few hours to spend Memorial Day with me.  It was a nice surprise--although if I'd had a little more notice I would have vacuumed, but dirty carpet is what they get for giving me little advanced warning--because my parents are kind of awesome.Mom mentioned that they'd thought we might cook out, but since it was rainy and I don't own a grill, I didn't give much credence to that idea.  I was surprised, then, when my parents came up to my place carrying bags of groceries and a grill in a box.  A tiny grill.  One might even go so far as to call it cute, but the punishment for undermining the grill might mean one doesn't get to partake in the delicious charbroiled food cooked upon it.  So, I didn't call it cute.I let them in, and since it was close to lunchtime, Dad started prepping the food while Mom and I sat on the couch and got caught up on the latest news.  It took me a while to realize we weren't having hamburgers.  Or hot dogs.  We were having kabobs.Generally speaking, there's nothing wrong with kabobs, it's just that it wasn't what I was expecting.  He got this idea and wanted to try it out, and that's the sometimes weird but often wonderful thing about my dad.  He and my mother live in the small town where I grew up, and I sometimes used to joke that it was a town that almost forcibly resists culture.  But sometimes major trends and fads make it all the way to our little corner of the state, and people like my dad find out about them.  Five years after I tried my first mojito, he heard about the drink and decided he'd like to try one.  He grew his own mint for the mojitos, and the thing you should know is that my father is a much better gardener than he is a bartender.  We had an abundance of mint, and the result was that he became very generous with it in order to prevent waste.  The first time he handed me a glass, I stared at the veritable forest floating amidst the liquid ingredients."Next, time, I don't want a salad at the bottom of my drink," I teased him.When the mint started to overrun the place, he put it in the iced tea as well, and insisted on calling it "mohi-tea."  Because while he is often a really, truly funny man, my father sometimes cannot resist the siren call of a cheesy joke.I like the fact that my father is curious and willing to try new things.  Sure, I wasn't thrilled when he commandeered a bottle of my wine to try his hand at French cooking, and we have actually had an argument about what truly makes a sandwich a panini, but generally I think it's an admirable quality.  It's one that I think I've inherited in small ways--I prefer to sample pop culture more than food, but I can be persuaded to try a new drink now and again.  The kabobs were good, even the slices of grilled pineapple that I pooh-poohed early on turned out to be delicious, and I was glad Dad decided to try something different.  I did have hot dogs for dinner, though.  You know, just to be patriotic and all.
    • May 25, 2009
  • Out With The Old? Not So Fast

    I am off today, and I am sitting at home in what, sadly, might be my favorite pair of jeans.  I say "sadly" because after close to five years of denim-y good times, they need to be retired.  They were a gift from someone who couldn't wear them for some reason, but they fit me perfectly.
    • May 22, 2009
  • More »

Most Shared

  • Industrial hemp pilot program coming soon to Arkansas

    One of the booths at this week's Ark-La-Tex Medical Cannabis Expo was hosted by the Arkansas Hemp Association, a trade group founded to promote and expand non-intoxicating industrial hemp as an agricultural crop in the state. AHA Vice President Jeremy Fisher said the first licenses to grow experimental plots of hemp in the state should be issued by the Arkansas State Plant Board next spring.

Blogroll

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation