EARTH TO ERNIE . . . | A Damsel in Distress

Monday, September 7, 2009

EARTH TO ERNIE . . .

Posted By on Mon, Sep 7, 2009 at 7:05 AM


 

Ernie Unpronounceable, mon cheri, as an international style consultant I CANNOT let this slide. Now that Arkansas pays $100K more than you made in South Carolina ($320K! Well done, Ernie!), please get dressed.

 

unknown.jpg

 

“My goal is to make sure this lottery is run with the highest degree of integrity, to make sure that this lottery is not injurious to the people of Arkansas.” (Uh, we hadn’t thought it would be, Ern, but thanks for bringing that up, we guess.)

 

Whipping up lottery frenzy is admirable, but your Powerball helmet and tie reek good ol’ boy desperation. Yes, they’re thematically as one with your lumpy K-Mart schmatta and cute vanity license-plate – PWRBALLZ – but still.

 

If your idea of integrity is dressing like a pledge-class president organizing a fraternity kegger, or one of the Three Stooges, you need a consultant. You need me.

 

unknown.jpg

 

From the ArkTimes store

Favorite

Comments (2)

Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-2 of 2

Add a comment

More by Norma Bates

  • OMG – IT’S ON!

      I heads-upped you in my previous post (below) but the day arrived TODAY! In the form of my contracts from WM / E in Beverly Hills!
    • Mar 20, 2010
  • OPENING DOWN UNDER

      Never one to call attention to myself, I’ve mentioned my national tour of a few years ago in “Split Ends: The Tammy Wynette Story” only once before, here.
    • Mar 15, 2010
  • THE DOCTOR IS OUT: TO LUNCH

          The Arkansas-Democrat’s Sunday (Feb. 28) Guest Column, “Don’t ask, don’t tell, don’t serve,” by George Schroeder, M.D., begins with a dream, ends with a lie and begs the question, “Why?”   The dreamer, Dr. Schroeder (“I dreamed . . .)
    • Mar 1, 2010
  • More »

Most Shared

  • Take yourself there: Mavis Staples coming to LR for Central High performance

    Gospel and R&B singer and civil rights activist Mavis Staples, who has been inspiring fans with gospel-inflected freedom songs like "I'll Take You There" and "March Up Freedom's Highway" and the poignant "Oh What a Feeling" will come to Little Rock for the commemoration of the 60th anniversary of the desegregation of Central High.
  • Klan's president

    Everything that Donald Trump does — make that everything that he says — is calculated to thrill his lustiest disciples. But he is discovering that what was brilliant for a politician is a miscalculation for a president, because it deepens the chasm between him and most Americans.
  • On Charlottesville

    Watching the Charlottesville spectacle from halfway across the country, I confess that my first instinct was to raillery. Vanilla ISIS, somebody called this mob of would-be Nazis. A parade of love-deprived nerds marching bravely out of their parents' basements carrying tiki torches from Home Depot.

Blogroll

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation