COCKTAILS & McCAIN IN CHENAL | A Damsel in Distress

Thursday, September 25, 2008

COCKTAILS & McCAIN IN CHENAL

Posted By on Thu, Sep 25, 2008 at 1:01 AM

 “In vino, veritas,” said Pliny the Elder. God did HE ever know what he was talking about.


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It’s late and I’ve just returned from cocktails and foodstuffs from the lovely Chenal home of, uh, “Bridget” and her husband. Let’s call her Bridget because if I call her by her real name, which is Millie, that might be TMI.

 

They had maybe twenty friends over for drinks and the always-fabulous culinary concoctions by Jerry Barakat, of Terrace on the Green and other fine restaurants. Hand-delivered by Jerry himself, who is a delightful show unto himself.

 

It doesn’t matter what I wore but you’re curious so it was a three-piece Carlisle slack-jac-shell coordinate in mocha, lime and licorice.

 

Naturally the conversation turned to politics, where it remained for the entire evening. Now, bear in mind these are Republicans and I’m a secret Democrat but they THINK I’m Republican because I live in Chenal and dress like Cindy Lou McCain. On her better days, anyway.

 

Here, no names, are snippets of their reactions to McCain’s decision to stop campaigning, delay this Friday’s Ole Miss debate with Obama and “postpone” the Vice-Presidential Biden / Palin debate after Sarah’s disastrous appearance on Katie Couric. (Palin’s currently 0 for 2, TV interview-wise.) Because McCain wants to spend the weekend in DC and “fix” the economic crisis he helped start back when he was with the Keating 5. Plus the candidate hasn’t had a press conference in 40 days. What’s up with THAT?

 

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“Big mistake. It looks like he’s running from a black man.”

 

Okay. THAT comment momentarily stanched the social flow in Chenal, as twenty lubricated white people instinctively froze in position, like one of those lighted drive-thru Living Crèche displays at the Church of the Nazarene on Christmas.

 

“No he’s not! He’s making sure the bailout passes! Compared to that, a silly debate is like pissing in the wind!”

 

We women glanced at each other and smoothly gravitated toward the bar to refresh our drinks while the men, Donald Trump Wannabes all, began an aggressive round of “My Point’s Bigger Than Your Point!”

 

“Did you see Letterman?”

 

“We don’t watch Letterman at our house!”

 

“He made McCain look really bad for canceling Letterman’s show at the last minute and leaving them with no guest, then showing up for Katie Couric and getting made up like a girl.”

 

“Well, his best line – “

 

“We don’t watch Letterman at our house!”

 

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“His best line was about McCain ‘delaying’ the campaign. Like: ‘Can’t you do two tasks at once, Mr. President? That’s what the job is all about. You can’t just ‘delay’ or ‘postpone’ acting as President!”

 

“It still looks like he’s running from a black man and it stinks. He’s a Marine. Not a coward.”

 

“Uh, actually a Navy Captain. U.S. Naval Academy.”

 

“What the hell does he know about the NAVY! He was born in Arizona! There’s no WATER in Arizona!”

 

“Actually, he was born in the Panama Canal Zone.”

 

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“What? He’s not a citizen?”

 

“I don’t care! He’s a war hero! He served his country! What’d Obama Muslim ever do for his country? And you don’t run from a black man at Ole Miss!”

 

“It’s all over!”

 

“No, it’s not! Trust me! Cheney has something up his sleeve!”

 

And so it went.

 

These, Hog fans, are some of your movers and shakers right here in The Rock. Unplugged, unvarnished, uncensored.

 

And you were there. Thanks to me.

 

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