Hog wild | Arkansas Blog

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Hog wild

Posted By on Tue, May 29, 2007 at 8:34 AM

CBS has been running an on-line poll for the "most dominant" college mascot. In the finals: the Arkansas Razorbacks and the Iowa State Cyclones.

As for the tournament finalists, congratulations to the Arkansas Razorbacks and Iowa State Cyclones for making it this far. Even though the cyclone is a terrible weather phenomenon that wreaks havoc wherever it goes, it's also relatively short-lived. Unless it's a storm of titanic proportions, the average cyclone only travels for a few miles before dissipating.

What does a razorback bring into the fight? According to Wikipedia, "Razorbacks in the wild are usually not as large as their domesticated counterparts, since they must forage for food, however they have been reported to grow as long as 8 to 9 feet and weigh almost half a ton. If a Razorback builds up enough momentum the strength in their hind quarters will allow them to jump high and far enough that it almost appears as though the Razorback is gliding across the air. ... They have acute sense of smell and hearing."

So basically, when a razorback hears and smells the cyclone roaring toward it from a distance, it can just run away until it dissipates. A seemingly cowardly tactic, yes, but you play to win, right?

Victory isn't without its rewards. On top of eternal trash-talking rights on Internet message boards of your choice, the winning school also will receive a commemorative plaque honoring their mascot as 2007's Most Dominant College Mascot on Earth. Good luck!

From the ArkTimes store

Favorite

Comments (3)

Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

 
Subscribe to this thread:
Showing 1-3 of 3

Add a comment

More by Max Brantley

Readers also liked…

  • In Little Rock, Marco Rubio sells American exceptionalism

    This is Rubio's axiomatic answer to Donald Trump's insistence that he and he alone will Make America Great Again: America is the greatest, always has been.
    • Feb 22, 2016
  • Donald Trump declares war on Hillary Clinton's marriage

    Donald Trump gave a remarkable interview to the New York Times yesterday in which he declared open season on the marriage of Bill and Hillary Clinton and Bill Clinton's past infidelity. Seems like a loser, but I've been wrong before.
    • Oct 1, 2016
  • Charter school accountability: Non-existent in Arkansas

    A state audit finds charter school spending violated state law, but the state Education Department says it has no responsibility for ensuring proper management of charter schools. Say what?
    • Mar 5, 2016

Most Shared

  • ASU to reap $3.69 million from estate of Jim and Wanda Lee Vaughn

    Arkansas State University announced today plans for spending an expected $3.69 million gift in the final distribution of the estate of Jim and Wanda Lee Vaughn, who died in 2013 and 2015 respectively.
  • Bad health care bill, again

    Wait! Postpone tax reform and everything else for a while longer because the Senate is going to try to repeal and replace the Affordable Care Act one more time before September ends and while it can do it with the votes of only 50 senators.
  • Sex on campus

    Look, the Great Campus Rape Crisis was mainly hype all along. What Vice President Joe Biden described as an epidemic of sexual violence sweeping American college campuses in 2011 was vastly overstated.
  • The inadequate legacy of Brown

    LRSD continues to abdicate its responsibility to educate poor black students.

Most Viewed

Most Recent Comments

Blogroll

 

© 2017 Arkansas Times | 201 East Markham, Suite 200, Little Rock, AR 72201
Powered by Foundation