FINAL: Standing by your (wo)man | Arkansas Blog

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

FINAL: Standing by your (wo)man

Posted By on Tue, Mar 11, 2008 at 4:45 PM

A lot of folks have been talking today about NY Gov. Eliot Spitzer's unhappy wife -- maybe loyally, maybe not -- standing by him yesterday when he confessed having sinned. (That's not her above, that's Tammy Wynette. That's them below, in happier times.)

That's inspired some interesting commentary on a now-familiar sight in American politics -- the embarrassed wife standing by her straying man. (Can anybody recall a gender role reversal?)

Since the day is slow and we have a new toy at the Arkansas Times, a membership in an on-line survey tool, I've created a little survey on the subject. Would your spouse stand by you? Would you expect him or her to do so? And an open-ended question on the topic.

Go here to participate. I'll post results later. It's set to take only one response per computer. NOTE: You do not have to be registered to comment on this blog to participate in the survey.

FINAL UPDATE, SURVEY CLOSED: We got 97 votes, clear preferences and good comments.

1. Would your spouse stand by you as you publicly apologized for a sex scandal?
Response Percent Response Count

Yes  26.0% 25
No  24.0% 23
Hell no.  53.1% 51
2. If you were caught in a public sex scandal, would you ask your spouse to stand by you when you issued a public apology?
Yes  13.4% 13
No  34.0% 33
I'm not that stupid  53.6% 52


1. Where was the cheatee when the cheater was cheating? ALONE! Therefore, he would go it alone with his public apology while I was having fun somewhere laughing at his ignorance! If he can cheat then he can have his mistress beside him for support...I'm not supporting his deceivable actions! Good luck're on your own just like I was when you were out cheating!  Wed, 3/12/08 3:55 AM 
  2. Oh I dare say what the private payback would be. How about role reversals? If the woman messed around. Think the Daly Show covered that one Tues nite.  Wed, 3/12/08 2:44 AM 
  3. Jeez my answers would be soooo expensive. Everything her heart ever desired from me would be hers. Dishwashing for 3,000 days.  Wed, 3/12/08 2:38 AM 
  4. You would be undeserving of support.  Wed, 3/12/08 1:40 AM 
  5. I'm reminded of the old joke: Laugh, and the class laughs with you, but you go to the office alone. Cheat on me, girlfriend, and you're doing the press statement by yourself. It would be my option to "stand by," most likely with a skillet.  Tue, 3/11/08 11:02 PM 
  6. And if I had Spitzer's wealth she would stand by me even closer.  Tue, 3/11/08 10:20 PM 
  7. I'm thinking the survey doesn't like Firefox browers cause I can't find a way to vote. But no lovely wife and I have played the home version of this game and here's a shock, we've both been on either end of the stick. It wasn't public like the Spitzers and thank Allah for that cause it's our business and ain't nobody else's. The important thing is that both of us had enough sense to know that even nice humans FK up now and then and without any soul searching we knew staying together was the best thing that could happen to us...much less our kids. But to answer number 2. If I was caught in a sex scandal, and lordy at the moment I wish I was, I would never ever ever let my wife stand on a stage and train her to continue to look at me like little drops of gold were dripping from my mouth...the standard candidate's wife look, ya know. Let the guilty party face the music alone Mrs. Spitzer didn't need the whole world looking at her yesterday, inspecting her to see what was so lacking in her that her husband would pay 5 grand to poke another woman. She looks like a nice woman...but who knows...maybe she was a whore when he met her? Life is stranger than you can imagine.  Tue, 3/11/08 10:04 PM 
  8. She'd stand by me, then later, when we were alone, she'd vivisect me.  Tue, 3/11/08 9:35 PM 
  9. Men in the public eye usually require a trophy wife to hold him up. But, Martha Stewart made her court appearances like a man. Or at least how a man should behave.  Tue, 3/11/08 9:34 PM 
  10. I'd still be bleeding from the groin area.  Tue, 3/11/08 9:23 PM 
  11. Thats what love and commitment are about. Just because one has faltered doesn't mean you go down with them. Sometimes you have to be stronger for your partner to regain their strength.  Tue, 3/11/08 9:02 PM 
  12. If my spouse made a one-time mistake, I would stand by him. But a prostitution service is no mistake; especially when he's a regular customer!  Tue, 3/11/08 8:49 PM 
  13. Question #1 needs a "maybe" column. my significant other has stood by me privately before; and at first she would not stand by my publicly, but maybe after a cooling off period  Tue, 3/11/08 8:13 PM 
  14. Spitzer should ask for a revolver and a few minutes alone.  Tue, 3/11/08 7:56 PM 
  15. Spitzer is a pig for making her do that.  Tue, 3/11/08 7:04 PM 
  16. I think it is in extrememly poor taste and shows a true lack of compassion, for the cheater, to expect the cheatee, to stand by them, as they issue their "bogus" apology. Regret for the act itself, or for getting caught? It does not matter to me. Had I been in Mrs. Spitzer's place, I would've been standing nowhere near him, as he went on national tv and further humiliated her. I know it was probably advised by a team of PR people to show a united front, but when dealing with matters of the heart, I think it is a private matter, and not one to be played out in front of cameras.  Tue, 3/11/08 6:45 PM 
  17. SHE SAID, "LIKE HELL".  Tue, 3/11/08 6:36 PM 
  18. She looks pretty good to me, what does $5500/hour get him that he ain't gettin' at home?  Tue, 3/11/08 6:15 PM 
  19. Man, good questions...I cheated once early on in my relationship and then left her for my former...after taking the well deserved bashing from her 3 months later...she took me back...that was 5 years ago...never again will I check the other side of the fence for greener can likely be forgiven once...not twice...and shame on you if you take them back after the repeats....  Tue, 3/11/08 5:52 PM 
  20. After I killed him I would stand by his body till the coroner arrived.  Tue, 3/11/08 5:42 PM 
  21. Those without sin cast the first stone.  Tue, 3/11/08 5:33 PM 
  22. I think dragging your innocent spouse up in front of the public with the intent to "show strength" is absurd. It would be more palpable for the scandalous one to go it alone. How humiliating.  Tue, 3/11/08 5:28 PM 
  23. What was that guy's name who lost "that certain part of the male anatomy" to his wife/GF's sharp and quick knife after she caught him using that same 'certain part' with another?? That guy would be me and there wouldn't be any standing going on.  Tue, 3/11/08 5:24 PM 
  24. The Early Show interviewed two women this morning and asked them why they thought that women always seem to stick by their adultering husbands. One of the women said exactly what I would've said had I been asked, essentially that these women love the fame, the power, and the money that come along with their husbands' jobs. I think that they would rather deal with a cheating spouse and not have to worry financially and have the influence that is automatically theirs as a result of being married to their political husbands than to leave him and have to fend for themselves. Just my opinion.  Tue, 3/11/08 4:57 PM 
  25. Makes me shiver



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